Prayer Needed - Worthy Christian Forums

I am sorry to have had to come on worthy board with this situation that I find myself in, But I really need the help of other Christian women on this topic.

About 10 years ago, I met a man that I felt God wanted me to be with, He was kind, soft spoken and gentle, Slow to anger and a man I felt would make my daughter who was only 7 a good daddy, So I ended up marrying him. We were no different then most families, we make enough to just get by. I was glad I found a partner I could be so open with. In 2005 we moved from my home state to a new state where neither of us had family or friends believing God would take care of us. In 2007, my husband and I got into a fight like couples do and as usual he didn’t say much, we were discussing our bills, I said something mean and before I knew it, he had hit me hard. You must understand that this man is big and very strong. I told him to leave and he did. I went and filed a charge against him that would never come up again, the police never acted on it. This was alright with us, because we talked things out and our marriage slowly started to mend. Everything seemed to be going well, my husband got a job as a truck Driver for a company and things started to look up. Until one day when I was cleaning out some junk and found an old e-mail from him to an ex-lover that he was keeping in contact with by e-mail, I can’t get those words out of my head in that where in this letter, He told her, "I wish I could make love to you again" and from here it only gets worse. I won’t subject you to the dirty talk. I was in complete Shock. I confronted him about it, and he said,” I should mind my own business and that he didn’t commit adultery with her, I reminded him of Gods words, “If a man even looks with lust upon a woman he has committed adultery with her in his heart". I should tell you that this was not the first time, The very first thing that ever happened was right before he started to drive truck for this company, a woman called from his place of work and wanted to talk to my husband, I believe she was from his work because of other things, I told her, he was sleeping and if I could take a message, she asked me who I was, I told her his wife, and if I could take a message and she said oh no ma’am That’s okay ma’am, and hurried off the phone. Something in my heart new something wasn’t right. I confronted him and he said I was crazy, that he wasn’t seeing anyone. And that someday when I get to heaven I’ll see and man wont you feel dumb then. I forgave him and tried to bury the truth; I loved him and wanted to be a godly woman. I have never forgot about those two incidents and that he did do those things, But I wanted to make my marriage work, I was in no way going to let the devil wreck my marriage. I prayed God please save my marriage, don’t let my marriage be taken over by evil. I prayed and prayed. As the days fell into months and we worked on our marriage things would never be the same, but we could at least be together. My husband continued not speaking to me much, he never touched me like a man does when he loves his wife, and we never kissed or even held hands. I was dying inside and felt he might be cheating again, but he seemed to really love God and want to be a good dad and husband. This went on for a year, we never held hands or snuggled or make love or kissed or anything, I would ask him off and on if he loved me and he would say yes, I would ask him if he was attracted to me and he would say yes, But I never could really believe him, He told me that he was distant with everyone, that it wasn’t just me. But he would never tell me he loved me, unless I said it first. I knew something was wrong, One day just a few days ago, as I was walking pass the kitchen table, my eye was drawn to his dairy he had left on the kitchen table, I am not the type of person to snoop around in someone’s private stuff, it was like I was drawn to the dairy and before I new it, I was reading it, a lot of it was the same old stuff about how terrible I was as a wife and person, then his writing would flip and he would tell how much he loved me and how he felt sorry for me and how if he could change places with me he would,(I have some medical handicaps). There was one entry that took me by surprise and totally broke my heart, I can’t mend this. I can’t deny this; I am forced to take action. Why oh way did he have to say it, why oh why did he have to feel it. Everything will never be the same, after 10 years of giving my heart to this man and giving him my most valued treasure my own daughter as his own child, I find written in his own hand, confused by his own mouth, He writes this: “I don’t know why I am writing this, if anyone finds this I will be so dead. But I am sexually attracted to (He put my daughter’s name now).” She is so beautiful. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I don’t know what to do; I am confused and my hand is shaking as I write this, Biblically Can I leave him, or will God hold me for it? Do I leave and get a divorce? What do I do? Please God Send someone to help me sort this thing out. My daughter is only 17 years old and he was suppose to be her dad, but I find he is attracted to her sexually. The next entry after admitting this, he writes about daydreaming and dreaming about her sexually, but adds in his entry.” I know God won’t let me hurt her”. What kind of animal have I been living with all these years? Please pray for my daughter and me that he won’t do anything and please what should I do now?

As the guardian of your daughter's safety and well-being, the father having abdicated his role, she does not deserve any less than complete freedom from his presence while unresolved sin against her is present.

I would urge you to get professional help but before even that, she needs to be removed from the home, and if that is without you, then that is your choice. She is in harm's way.

I will pray for courage and strength for you, my dear. Your story is so very heartbreaking. Jesus is with you even in this deep pain.

Angel1969

Your post greatly saddens me. This man has some very deep issues that you cannot heal or weather. There is a reason that God has some allowances for divorce and while it is up to you to forgive him if he is unfaithful with another woman, it is not up to you to stand by and allow someone who has raised a child with you to have sexual feelings for that child.
I know you say you are handicapped but your weakness is nothing to the Lord. You are strong in Him.
Protect your child and potiential grandchildren and leave now!!!
From what you have described to me it sounds like he has some very bad sexual issues that are not fixable without long term counseling on his part.
Trust me, this is a very serious issue.

Your's and your daughter's safety are top priority here. If you can get out today, do so.
I am praying

Sister God does NOT require u to live in a home with a husband who is perverse and lusting after your child...God does NOT CONDONE such WICKEDNESS AS THIS nor does He require that you endanger your child living with that man.


And as far as the love is concerned for this man...I think that would have killed what I felt for him except for the love of his soul..that would be all there was left of my feelings towards him..

But I am not you and this is your decision to make and my advice to you is pray that this man gets saved and begin praying

Lord lead me

God bless
Evangdare

It seems you want to know what God expects. Even though your husband isn't biologically her father, this verse says Lev 18:6 "None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD." There are scriptures that indicate that people who are in your household fall under God's guidelines and expectations.

Praying for you.

Your husband has already been and adulterer and has stepped away from his Biblical responsibilities as husband. father, ans spiritual leader of his house. Is he a professing Christian?

You need to protect your daughter. My advice is to separate from him and then seek counsellling. Is your daughter aware of his feelings? Has he approached her in any way other than as a father should? Have you spoken to your pastor?

I am so sorry for you and your situation.

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Nathele

Heavenly Father,

Please protect this young girl and guide Angel1969 in the decisions she must make. Open her husband's eyes to how wrong his thoughts and feelings are. Please give peace and guidance in this situation.

In Christ's name I pray
Amen

Praying!

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