To KNOW him is to TRUST him! - Worthy Christian Forums

I’ve only returned to God a few years ago after attempting to run from him for a long time. I wanted to start this thread after being involved, for a few days, in another one titled “How does the Holy Spirit intercede?” I was defending my belief that speaking in tongues is still viable and active today within the body. I hope this thread doesn’t even go in that direction. Suffice to say, after a short time period of speaking in tongues for 7-10 minutes; my grandson received healing of a broken neck. It was that experience in addition to a continual “drawing” to return that finally caused me to do a 180 degree about-face and return to seeking God.

In 2005, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I was told by the doctor that, by all rights, I should’ve been dead already. Another complication that resulted from diabetes is neuropathy – a nerve disorder. I am in chronic pain 24/7. I’m not looking for sympathy because I believe it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Psalms 119:67 Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word. And the verse Psalms 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.
I hope some don’t chastise me for saying I can truly thank and praise God for this infirmity because it keeps me looking to him for his “grace” and his “sufficiency.”

After returning to the Lord, I’ve prayed earnestly, like David, that the “joy” of my salvation would return. I’ve often wondered why I don’t experience the same operation of gifts, emotion or goose bumps. I really don’t FEEL anything like I used to BUT… I have an insatiable appetite for God’s word that will not stop! Before, in my Christian walk, it seemed enough to attend church regularly for a recharge or read his word infrequently or attend the occasional prayer meeting. Now… it’s as if none of that will ever be enough again.

I am OBSESSED with staying immersed in his word. I’m not blowing my horn saying this. I simply have no idea of WHY or what’s going on. I listen to the word on CD most always and, at times, I even listen on headset in my sleep. I can’t get enough. I really felt defending my beliefs in the other thread about tongues or any other gift was a distraction. I’ve asked God, over and over again, why don’t I FEEL like I used to. At times, I’ve worried that I had stepped over the line and became profane and I, like Esau, had blown it and I was seeking a place of repentance… even in tears… but couldn’t find it. Through time, I’ve come to realize I’m not an apostate but like Paul declared… when I became a man… I put away childish things!

I believe the greatest gift God is giving me is a desire to take advantage of the AVAILABILITY of his word – BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT! I don’t know if the time is short for ME or the time is coming when the freedom to openly experience his word, as we have known in days past, is about to change.

I don’t know why but I feel a calling or sense of urgency to come and KNOW God. To me, it seems ABSOLUTELY IMPERATIVE that I get to know him… as fast and as much as possible. I’ve often felt haunted by the parable where the sheep are separated from the goats. I don’t want to be placed on his left trembling as I await those horrible words as read in Matthew 25:31-46 “Depart from me, you accursed ones, into… or in Matthew 7:23 “And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, if I focus all my time and energy, here and now, for the remainder of my life, endeavoring to KNOW him – everything will take care of itself and I won’t have to hear those horrible words.

I often wonder why it is that everything in my life that I once held dear has lost its luster. Everything I used to pour myself into is gone. I once was absorbed in the world of art and spent all my time drawing and painting. It was the only thing that I worshipped but, even backslidden; a verse kept haunting me day and night:

Matthew 16:26
26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? I really was passionately pursuing my dream of becoming a famous artist in the classical realism tradition. Not long after this verse started hounding me, I put it all aside. I gave all my art supplies and equipment away. I simply don’t care anymore about any type of worldly pursuits. My wife thinks I’m going through severe depression because of my illness but I can truly say… I am not! I’m not depressed at all. Instead of reading and researching all I can about the latest in art supplies and technique, I want to give the same diligence and passion to reading and researching all things GOD! I don’t even have the passion I used to for him to use me in some great capacity or operate in any particular gifts. All I care about now is getting to KNOW him. Now I can understand why when the Lord asked in John 6:66-68 “Do you also want to go away?” Peter answered “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

Two concepts have been on my mind for some time now about the idea that we are not to be devoted to the temporal and how we are seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:6). Also along these lines are the words in:

Philippians 3:8
8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ

Hebrews 12
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I don’t consider myself speaking prophetically by any means when I say; something is going to happen soon. As to what change? I have no clue but change is coming quickly. To KNOW God is to TRUST God! I’ve read threads here about thoughts on assembling together – whether one believes it’s necessary or not. I believe it will be an ABSOLUTE means of survival that believers huddle together but I don’t believe it will be in buildings as we have known it. I work for the federal government. What I see and hear has caused me to believe the day is coming when Christian assemblies will have to go underground. I picture the day when Christian assemblies will be intruded upon and believers will be persecuted for even owning a bible! I believe we should get as much word into our spirits as we can while there is still time.

I woke up from a nap this afternoon with Psalms 78 on my mind. The impression was strong how Israel would not remain steadfast in their TRUSTING God while leading, protecting and guiding them to the Promised Land. He kept giving them their temporal desires as they didn’t care for the way in which he provided for them. Manna wasn’t enough. Quail was not enough. Water gushing from a rock was not enough. His miracles were not enough! Verses below are just some of chapter 78:


Psalms 78:32-38
32 In spite of this they still sinned,
And did not believe in His wondrous works.
33 Therefore their days He consumed in futility,
And their years in fear.
34 When He slew them, then they sought Him;
And they returned and sought earnestly for God.
35 Then they remembered that God was their rock,
And the Most High God their Redeemer.
36 Nevertheless they flattered Him with their mouth,
And they lied to Him with their tongue;
37 For their heart was not steadfast with Him,
Nor were they faithful in His covenant.
38 But He, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity,
And did not destroy them.
Yes, many a time He turned His anger away,
And did not stir up all His wrath;
39 For He remembered that they were but flesh,
A breath that passes away and does not come again.

What really stood out to me were the verses in Psalms 78:70-72 that say how God chose David to shepherd Israel; a seemingly insignificant man but one who was integral and upright in heart. Didn’t David go down in history known as a “man after God’s own heart?” I’m equally impressed how God KNEW Moses as a FRIEND and spoke to him as one face to face!

In these perilous times, I believe God is calling believers, however insignificant in the eyes of men, to chase after his heart and get to KNOW him. Soon, we will need to TRUST him like never before. To KNOW him is to TRUST him.

God bless…

Amen!

Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts. Zechariah 4:6

A sinner can no more repent and believe without the Holy Spirit's aid than he can create a world. Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Amen brother.

Ihave felt this earnest desire to seek more of God, and draw nigh to Him, then so many times I let other things get in the way.

Thank you for the reminder God ALWAYS comes first then all things shall be added unto us. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.gif)

I like what you had to say. God Bless.............Pamilla

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I appreciate everyone's feedback but I took particular notice of the quotation in your comments or "signature" where it says:

"The Bible is . . . the story of God making His reality known in the brokenness of our world. It doesn't end with a book called Revelation, but with a person - Jesus Himself! Scripture guides us to Him so we can know him. (John 5:40)" ~Wayne Jacobsen

If you didn't think I'm already nuts for this long-winded explanation of what I believe the Lord is laying on my heart, you'll think I'm CERTIFIABLE (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif) after reading my latest post in the Prophecy Forum. I forgot about much of what I had to say here in this long post until I read it again after seeing peoples' comments. I believe the other post is somewhat tied to this one.

What I really need is somebody's interpretation in helping me decipher if it means anything or am I just speaking vain imaginations, if so, I truly hope the Lord will forgive me! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/taped.gif)