Torn & Broken and Don't know what to do? - Worthy Christian Forums

Family,

I have been away a long time, reason being I had some difficulties, but I realized I need some advice and shutting myself away from everyone is not helping at all. I hate being a nuisance. And I don't want to run away from this, I need to sort this out once and for all.Okay let me explain.

I am married to a wonderful man. He is more than a good man. He is born again and loves DADDY GOD dearly. THe only time he gets agry is when people mistreats me. He never yelled at me, even when he is really angry at me. He would walked away after an arguement, go to the shop, buy flowers or sometimes chocolates, though sometimes it's not his fault, come back & appoligized and asked that we need to talked now cause we both calm. He will tell me everyday I am his dream come true. He really loves me. He even told his family if they don't except me they have to leave him alone as he will never be able to chose them over me. The reason I am telling yall all this so yall can understand I am torn in two.

My dad don't have a plce to stay at the moment. My dad is drinking heavily and is very abusive (physically, verbally & emotionally) towards me. He used to stay with us, and my hubby didn't liked it. My dad once hit him when he came in between my dad & me. He told my dad if he would lift his hands again on me, he will definetly hurt him. I love my father, but I also hate him for what he is doing to me. I've tried several times to commit suicide when my dad stayed with us, but my hubby always found me in time. I hate hurting my hubby(Dasen) like that. Dasen deserve so much better than me. I am tired of hurting inside. I am tired of feeling unworthy as a child. My dad once told me that he wished I was dead, cuz his life would be so better if I was not born. He told me lots of things that is to shameful to mentioned here.

As yall can see I have lots of issues because of him (my dad).

Dasen told me we are not taking my dad in, he said he will rather leave the home so me & my dad stay there, than to see that I am dying each day, with my dad living with us.

DADDY GOD says in HIS Word, we as children, that we must obey our parents. Were will my dad go if I don't give him a place to stay. My family already hates me for marrying an Indian. What am I suppose to do? He is my father and I don't want to loose m husband. I love them both.

Can't I just die? Then my dad will have enough money to live on, and he could be happy.
Dasen then don't have to face all my family who are so nasty to him. He could find someone better than me.

Family I made a promise to my adoptive mama (manie), sis (pinkfrogfreak) & dasen that I won't try commiting suicide again. Though my thoughts kept planning it day & night. My letters is already written, but my promises to them is keeping me bound here. How do I do it without breaking my promise? Can I hire someone to kill me? WOuld it still be suicide?
I don't know... please give me advice.

love,
lomi

This is a hard one but something that is obvious (to me anyway) is that you are under your husbands leadership now NOT your dad's. Your husband is the head of your household and he has every right to come in between the physical confrontations that you are having with your father.

I understand your dad needs somewhere to stay but if having your dad stay with you and making you feel suicidal - he needs to leave and how about someone from Church putting him up for awhile? Even then, they might not want a person staying with them who is abusing alcohol. Is there a place for men dealing with alcoholism that he can stay while he sorts himself out?

I really think you need to be physically apart from him.

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh but I know what alcohol does to a family. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/emot-hug.gif)

Lomi, dear sister - His Girl is right, I believe. Your father is planting terrible thoughts in your head that you should not listen to. Your Husband is the head of your household now. Cleave unto him - not your father. Do not let this good man go - he loves you and you are worthy of love and respect - evil thoughts from your father are telling you otherwise. Listen to you husband. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/emot-hug.gif)

Lomi, I strongly agree with what has already been said. Don't let your father come between you and your husband, or hurt you any further. Let your husband protect you as he obviously wants to and as it is his role to. You can still honour your father by trying to find him somewhere else to stay and by visiting when he does get somewhere. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/emot-hug.gif)

Lomi, my sweet lil sister in christ, I know you are torn but I agree with HIS girl and Believer,,,,and to add something here and that is.... a parent is not to provoke his children, your dad is doing just that, You have a good husband, let him love you and you love him, what God has brought together no one should come between even if its a family member. Alcohol destroys people and lives and look at all the torment its doing to you. Praying for you, stay strong in the Lord.
blessings,
desi

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 22-24

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Colossians 3:8


I agree with what has already been said. Your husband is who you need to listen to because that is what God's word says. When you married they relationship between you and your father changed. You aren't a child anymore, you are a wife. You can still honor your father by helping him find somewhere to live. You have a lot of love inside you and much kindness. That is why you are torn. Hold to the Bible and submit to your husband's position in your home. Let him lead and you follow. It sounds to me as if he is doing the right thing.

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Nathele

Praying

Suicide is not the way to pay your husband back for his love is it?

Your dad has already killed a big part of you don’t let him kill the rest.

You have no responsibility to your dad he has chosen his road you can pray for him if you like but you cannot have a relationship with him until he turns his life around.

If you were to choose him over your husband you would be going against God.

Killing yourself isn’t an option, this is actually a spirit that is trying to keep you from what god has for you , God loves you and he has a plan for you in this life and it’s a plan to prosper you in his kingdom.

You need to get help with the spiritual warefare to get rid of these hurts of the past.

Oh, Lomi, seldom have I read a thread that is spot on all the way through. You deserve love, you are loved. Your husband loves you, your FATHER IN HEAVEN loves you, loves you, loves you. And everyone here knows how much you love Him.

But you are in an abusive relationship with your biological father, and you need to break the cycle. You cannot do that by taking your own life. Think of all the people you would hurt, think how much it would hurt your Heavenly Father.

You need to talk to your husband, you need to pray, and if you need help with counciling with regard to your relationship with your father, you need to get that as well. There are deep and hard issues here. Talk to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance.

And remember, always remember, you are loved, you are loved.

Love and Blessings.

Praying!