restoring a pastor after sexual abuse - Worthy Christian Forums

i didn’t know quite where to put this. maybe controversial would have been better!

the pastor of my church was recently told to resign and his credentials were stripped because of “sexual immorality” with a member of the congregation. that’s what we were told when a letter from the board of deacons was read a month and a half ago. a few weeks later, a sunday night meeting was called, and we heard more details.

it turns out that my pastor is a predator. not just a predator, but a stalking predator. there were three women who made the initial allegations, and two more have come forward since then.

there was a Q & A period that night, and someone asked if the pastor could come back. right now, he is still denying the allegations. but if he were to confess and go through “restoration” he could conceivably pastor this, or another, church again.

this man was a dynamic speaker. a good communicator. and, i thought, a strong man of God. he had been pastor of my church for 27 years. he built it up from a membership of around 200 to over 4,000. people loved him. and, i’m afraid, may follow him. he has a severance package waiting for him, but he hasn’t received it because he has to sign a paper that says he will not pastor another church until he goes through the restoration process.

whenever a pastor has sex with a member of his congregation, it’s not an affair; it is abuse. the damage sexual abuse by spiritual leaders causes is beyond measure. it’s almost like God Himself is the abuser. i’ve been on the other end of this abuse. i know firsthand the barriers and hurt it causes.

but after perpetrating this abuse, there’s still the possibility of him becoming a pastor again. this bothers me a great deal. i know God forgives all sin we confess. i also know that different sins have different consequences. a lady at my church believes that sexual abuse is not cause for a pastor to lose his pastorship forever. i disagree. i think he never again can be trusted.

so i guess that’s my question. do you think there can or should be restoration of a man to pastor a church after he has committed sexual abuse? and if he does go to another church outside of his denomination, can or should i do anything?

I think he can be redeemed, sure!

But I imagine that the church he was in will be hard-pressed to see his former image restored in their hearts. Now he'll be tainted in their eyes, in one way or another. It's possible to get over it, sure... I've been in such a situation involving sexual abuse... but the truth of what this person did will not easily fade.

p.s. This probably should be in controversial. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)

Please by all means DO NOT support this man. This pastor should come out and express honesty with his church. Not only that express honesty to God since he is working for him to deliver his truth. I think it's important he complies with what the deacons want him to do. It deeply distresses my heart to hear someone who delivers the truth to the masses and commits sin on the side. I'll pray for you and your church.

so you think it's okay for him to be a pastor again?

no fear. i would never support him. the church leaders wanted him to tell the church the facts. that's why they waited so long to tell us. but he wouldn't. everybody sins, but some sins truly are bigger than others.

thank you so much for your prayers. the sunday the initial letter was read, they cancelled life groups and asked people to come to the church and pray. around 1200 people showed up!

If this man was called by God to teach, then that's what I believe he should do! However, him stumbling like this may have thrown him off that path a little ways. He'll have to come to terms with the Maker and learn to let the Spirit lead instead of the flesh. I know personally that even if what I'm teaching is true, if I have stumbled in front of the one I am trying to teach, my teaching will be muffled or ignored.

The only way I see this pastor getting back onto the path is through time and maybe a fresh start. It'll only be when he allows Jesus to take the throne of his heart that he'll be ready again.

Keep in mind this is advice coming from a younger, less wise brother- but thats my two cents anyways. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.gif) I'm not very learned on the leaders of the church and their requirements and duties... so I could be completely wrong. He, like any other man, still has a great capacity to teach...

First of all I answer this question assuming this is true. This is a big assumption and I would not do anything until I was certain of that fact.

1) No he should never pastor again as he does not fit the scriptural qualifications for being a pastor, ever. The biblical qualifications for being a pastor deny many many Christians the calling to be a pastor. But being sexually immoral as a pastor and having a bad reputation totally nullifies his ability to ever lead as a Christian again. If he would still want to lead shows that he has no repentance for what he has done. You see he should understand that if he were to pastor again it would hurt all Christians as a testimony to the immorality of our own Church, are we a church of sin?

2) He can be totally forgiven for what he has done by Christ, but he must admit what he has done and he must have a contrite heart and repent. This is largely between him and Christ; he can be totally restored as a Christian, but not as a pastor.

3) If he simply leaves and takes up with a new congregation they should be given the facts of his case, would you let your wife, daughter, mother around this man, how would you feel if he abused someone else and you could have prevented it?

your two cents counts much pokemaughan! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.gif)

you're right about the only way he'll get on tract is through Jesus.

however, this wasn't just a stumble. it was a way of life for him. beginning back in the late 80s. and a sin like this, even if only once, doesn't throw one off the path "a little ways". it's pretty big.

i appreciate your input and your thoughts.

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thanks Smalcald! it is true. the facts given to us at the meeting removed any doubt whatsoever. not only did my pastor's congregation love him, so did the people who investigated the allegations. they set out to prove him innocent. the amount of money the denomination spent on this investigation was unprecidented. nobody believed it was true. nobody. unitl it was proven.

as to your #3 statement, should *i* do that? i totally agree with what you say. i just don't know how to go about making it happen.

Church leaders are supposed to be above reproach. True, everyone stumbles and sins, but our leaders should be held to a higher standard than anyone else - because when they stumble, they take far more people with them. And when that stumble is on the magnitude such as this, it can destroy a person's Faith.

If this pastor repents and confesses before God, I have absolute confidence that God will forgive him. However, because of his actions, he should never be allowed to pastor a church again. It may be unfair, but unless he is in a place that does not know what he did, his message will always be tainted with the actions of what he did. And because of his sin (predator/stalker) he should not be in a place where people don't know what he did. Catch-22, true, but nothing to be done for it.

The sin can be removed through repentance and submission to God. The effects of the sin on others cannot. This is something he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life.

Truly this is a sad and sinful world we live in (IMG:style_emoticons/default/th_praying.gif)