My problem starts way back in 2007 when my uncle died and his death was sudden and it just made me question the whole afterlife issue that's where my initial interest in religion & spirituality surfaced to investigation mode. My family is agnostic and that did not help with mourning him at all. Anyway since then for me personally its been like a series of hurdles and my work (I used to work as a Finance Analyst so lots of spreadsheets and explaining numbers to people who don't care about saving money!) had ultimately ended as it was far to stressful and my health was deteriorating something like a random food allergy to start. During this period I was still agnostic. During 2010 my health I was at the hospitalization stage with now diagnosed severe asthma and a Chest Infection. I was hooked up to an oxygen machine and a nebuliser, after they ran tests and x-ray the doctors discovered that a lower part of my lung was partially collapsed. (basically every time i breathed in there was no air going in that deep). I was initially admitted for 6 months and i thought great there goes 2011.
Ultimately it was this experience that made me find God. Nothing worked no meds no nothing then the doctors mentioned maybe a connection to a heart problem (I was 29 at the time) and I just lay there with that nasty mask over my face (couldnt speak) in a bed - so I thought in a really low moment ok enough. God, Im wrong I have been for far to too long. Please get me out of this mess away from these stupid doctors and outta here. I'll do whatever you want. There was no real specialist there to say it just a severe allergy nothing more. It seems like the moment I said that phrase in my mind. Everything has changed.
- I saw a visiting Chest physian and i was 'released' in 3 months with just a pill for the asthma and an antihistamine (I have inhalers too)
- My outlook is totally different
- Suddenly dont want to work in finance at all
- Gone from agnostic to Christian (without any outside involvement)
- Have more will power (lost 3 stone in weight!)
I just feel like im being guided to do whatever im doing like there is some kind of (now I feel and sound spaced out! ) guardian angel stopping me from all those bad things before that was making me sick.
Could this be a spiritual experience or just post stress? I'm just worried that I am snowballing a lot of stress that I carried with me and now its holding me back form moving forward. I need a job but every time I hear about one within the area im trained in (finance) I feel like an alarm goes off and I don't go forward. I mentioned my Uncle because I dont want to end up like him dead at 59 from living an excessive meaningless life. My friend who I spoke to about this says im over thinking it all (but then she's athiest!) Has anyone experienced anything like this ever?
Its almost making me hold back on everything (apart from the religious aspect!)
Edited by freeinnocentspirit, 11 February 2012 - 11:51 AM.