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Depression and suicide

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Psa 18:2  The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.


1Co 15:58  Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.


In my life as a Christian some of the greatest rewards have happened after the most brutal struggles. I mean gun-pressed-against-my-head brutal. Look at the trials you undergo as miniature versions of your overall progress towards Jesus and home. The darkness is going to be overwhelming at times (especially as dawn approaches), but greater is he who is in you than he who is in this world. You are ultimately destined for the arms of Jesus, for HOME!


For the JOY set before him, Jesus suffered the shame and torture of the cross. Remember the JOY awaiting you! This world is an incredibly distressing place! The law has shown us our hearts, our true condition, and we are wretched! But God's heart is not hardened against us. We sin and sin, and yet how he loves us! How much does he love us? "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Nailed to the cross for us, he experienced that same feeling we know so well -- the feeling of being lost, terrified, and helpless, without even God to help! But God had not forsaken His Son at the moment, and neither does he forsake his sons and daughters still living (and dying) in this world. Jesus prayed that the Father would protect us from the evil, and that is exactly what He is doing.


If this world breaks your heart, you are SANE.


Psa 34:17  The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
Psa 34:18  The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Psa 34:19  Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
Psa 34:20  He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.
Psa 34:21  Evil shall slay the wicked: and they that hate the righteous shall be desolate.
Psa 34:22  The LORD redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.

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gray wolf

gray wolf

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I have lived with depression for a long time, and medications have not helped me with it. It is kind of sad..I have sort of gotten myself into a mindset of just "coping" with it. Sure, I can function and even enjoy life a little, but in all honesty, life feels pretty empty. Oddly enough my medications are what cause my depression to get worse, but I have to take them due to OCD, anxiety, and tourrete's syndrome. I understand your pain, I really do. When people hurt me, I often get suicidal ideation where I think about my funeral and it seems like everytime I pray and ask for a painless death and to cross over. I have wished upon myself to have an incurable disease and waste away...yeah, it gets that bad. I don't have advice for you, but I think people are correct when they talk about prayer. Pray for yourself and have friends pray for you. There is no easy fix or a cure for depression, we just learnt o cope, and with time, therapy, and usually medications we can start to see the sunshine again and have more pleasant thoughts. I didn't want to concern anyone, but thought I should be honest because people just don't seem to understand true clinical depression, if only they could see how dark it truly is..the tears..the loneliness...and even from others, the stigma and hurt...

I'm right there with you having been on disabilty for many years for depression. I take so many meds they won't need to embalm me one day. The meds and therapy have not worked, nor has electroconvulsive therapy. The toll it takes on your loved ones is also terrible. It is truly an unholy ghost!
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I think my depression started when my parents got seperated. Well, a bit after really, when Is saw how things were evolving. How my mother isn't able to cope with the separation until now, how things have changed in my life. Depression came slowly and is still there every day. I think it's also because I always feel like and outcast...Depression is hard! I don't know how I can heal...

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I suffered from panic attacks and depression for a long time after my dad was killed and really the only thing that worked (besides talking with and confiding in a friend) was listening to worship music.  You cannot be sad and depressed when listening to beautiful worship.  The bible says that God inhabits the worship of His people and peace will radiate throughout your body. It is amazing.  I've tried anti-depression meds and they only made it worse...so bad I almost committed suicide.  I got addicted to painkillers because they made me feel good, but knew I would die if I stayed on them.  Now, my focus is not on my past and what happened back then, but my future, on God and keeping my eyes focused on the prize.  Just like when Peter got to walk on water...he could do it as long as he kept his eyes focused on Christ.  But when he turned his eyes away and saw the storm, wind and waves, he began to sink.  Focus on Christ and He will transform you. I haven't had a panic attack in a few months now. 

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