I think the point that might help this along is that this life is not a means to an end. Well, it is and it is not. What may be hard for us to get our heads around is the fact that this life... this world... this universe of physicality was created for the sole purpose of establishing the facts that God is just, God is more than fair, and his judgment is true (Isaiah 43:7). THIS is the glory that God is to regain which Jesus prayed about (in part in John 17) his part, anyway.
Those spirit beings (which we often call angels which were actually cherubs and seraphs) who sinned once were condemned to eternity in hell (which was created for them Matthew 24:41). It is as though while the sentence was pronounced the devil accused the Lord of being unjust and unfair... and with no obligation to do so, God set out to answer that accusation and began creating the physical realm through which he could redeem a people who had the ability to die. Spirit beings could not be redeemed from the pronouncement "the soul that sins shall die." They are in their eternal state already. Man who can die and be resurrected can be redeemed once a kinsman redeemer paid the price for their sins. That required God becoming a man to be of kin to man. He did not do so with "angels" since they could not die or be resurrected (which is a physical reality of the body not the spirit Romans 8:23b).
For God to do so meant that he would have to become a man forever even though he retains his full deity. This lot fell to the Creator of both men and angels (the preincarnate Jesus God the Word who alone created all things created in the beginning John 1:1-3, Colossians 1:13-16, Isaiah 44:24). This is why the cost is so high for sinners to end up in eternal hell... because Jesus paid so high a price in just the incarnation and then on the cross. This offer of salvation is offered to all people. Not just some.
John 3:16-18 (KJV)
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
1 John 2:1-2 (KJV)
1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:
2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.
1 Timothy 4:10 (KJV)
10 For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe.
This is NOT universal salvation for mankind. John 3:16-18 specifically teaches it is not.
Trouble is, many (perhaps most) people are too stuck on their own sovereignty (self rule etc) to take the simple step to receiving this free gift of eternal salvation... and God knows before hand who will not accept this prepaid salvation and who will...
It's not God choosing this person over that person... it's just the opposite... this person not choosing God and that person choosing God.