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Marriage: A covenant or a contract?

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Something I came across to think about:

Covenant vs. Contract

A covenant is based on trust - A contract is based on distrust

A covenant is based on unlimited responsibility - A contract is based on limited liability

A covenant is lifelong and not to be broken - A contract can be voided by mutual consent

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That and God hates divorce. Marriage must be seen as a covenant between man/woman and God and eachother. A covenant is not like a contract, it was never meant to be broken.

It's interesting that a lot of people like to use that verse and fail to acknowledge the fact that God DOES allow divorce for adultery and desertion. Why is that?

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Something I came across to think about:

Covenant vs. Contract

A covenant is based on trust - A contract is based on distrust

A covenant is based on unlimited responsibility - A contract is based on limited liability

A covenant is lifelong and not to be broken - A contract can be voided by mutual consent

I don't have my bible handy, but "A three strand cord is not easily broken"

God, husband and wife - a three strand covenant.

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That and God hates divorce. Marriage must be seen as a covenant between man/woman and God and eachother. A covenant is not like a contract, it was never meant to be broken.

It's interesting that a lot of people like to use that verse and fail to acknowledge the fact that God DOES allow divorce for adultery and desertion. Why is that?

That is simple enough. God hates sin, ans the reasons He allows divorce for adultery is because it is a sin. Divorcing for desertion is new to me. Where is that found in scripture?

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That and God hates divorce. Marriage must be seen as a covenant between man/woman and God and eachother. A covenant is not like a contract, it was never meant to be broken.

It's interesting that a lot of people like to use that verse and fail to acknowledge the fact that God DOES allow divorce for adultery and desertion. Why is that?

That is simple enough. God hates sin, ans the reasons He allows divorce for adultery is because it is a sin. Divorcing for desertion is new to me. Where is that found in scripture?

Isn't desertion considered a type of divorce? It is the putting away of, right? I know Cobalt touched on it in another thread on marriage where I spoke of my wife having left our home to live elsewhere.

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

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Something I came across to think about:

Covenant vs. Contract

A covenant is based on trust - A contract is based on distrust

A covenant is based on unlimited responsibility - A contract is based on limited liability

A covenant is lifelong and not to be broken - A contract can be voided by mutual consent

I don't have my bible handy, but "A three strand cord is not easily broken"

God, husband and wife - a three strand covenant.

Ecc. 4:9-12

9 Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,

For he has no one to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;

But how can one be warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.

And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

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That and God hates divorce. Marriage must be seen as a covenant between man/woman and God and eachother. A covenant is not like a contract, it was never meant to be broken.

It's interesting that a lot of people like to use that verse and fail to acknowledge the fact that God DOES allow divorce for adultery and desertion. Why is that?

That is simple enough. God hates sin, ans the reasons He allows divorce for adultery is because it is a sin. Divorcing for desertion is new to me. Where is that found in scripture?

Jesus was asked a similar question...

Matt. 19:3-9

3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made[a] them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’[b] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?[c] 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”

8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality,[d] and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

I'm guessing here...but he is probably referring to the principle in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

This speaks specifically to an unbeliever leaving a believer.

As far as the matter of a (believing) husband or wife walking out on their (believing) spouse, that is to say abandonment...that is a matter of some debate.

Edited by Mcgyver
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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

Ps. 119:105

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

Interesting question.

Matt. 5:31-32

31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I {Jesus} say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

Luke 16:18

18 Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.

1 Cor. 7:10-11, 15

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

Yet is divorce an unpardonable sin? I would say no. God hates divorce but he is faithful to forgive our sins.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Acts 3:19

Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,

God bless,

GE

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

I'm guessing here...but he is probably referring to the principle in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

This speaks specifically to an unbeliever leaving a believer.

As far as the matter of a (believing) husband or wife walking out on their (believing) spouse, that is to say abandonment...that is a matter of some debate.

Debate yes. But don't forget the passage right before 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Also keep in mind that 1 Cor. 7:12-16 Paul is clearly saying this as advice from Paul the Christian... Or what do you think?

1 Cor. 7:10-11

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

I'm guessing here...but he is probably referring to the principle in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

This speaks specifically to an unbeliever leaving a believer.

As far as the matter of a (believing) husband or wife walking out on their (believing) spouse, that is to say abandonment...that is a matter of some debate.

Debate yes. But don't forget the passage right before 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Also keep in mind that 1 Cor. 7:12-16 Paul is clearly saying this as advice from Paul the Christian... Or what do you think?

1 Cor. 7:10-11

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Agreed...and I certainly wasn't skirting the issue...

So many times though, abandonment by one or the other results in or is the product of an adulterous relationship, thus my comment about subject to debate.

If we accept that Paul is indeed speaking by the leading of the Holy Spirit, then even though he doesn't say "thus saith the Lord" I think that we must accept that this is more than merely one man's opinion. That is to say, that Paul in giving this advice (But to the rest I, not the Lord, say:) is in line with the Holy Spirit...otherwise we have a serious conundrum with the writings of Paul! :hmmm:

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

1Cor. 7:15

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

I'm guessing here...but he is probably referring to the principle in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

This speaks specifically to an unbeliever leaving a believer.

As far as the matter of a (believing) husband or wife walking out on their (believing) spouse, that is to say abandonment...that is a matter of some debate.

Debate yes. But don't forget the passage right before 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Also keep in mind that 1 Cor. 7:12-16 Paul is clearly saying this as advice from Paul the Christian... Or what do you think?

1 Cor. 7:10-11

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Agreed...and I certainly wasn't skirting the issue...

So many times though, abandonment by one or the other results in or is the product of an adulterous relationship, thus my comment about subject to debate.

If we accept that Paul is indeed speaking by the leading of the Holy Spirit, then even though he doesn't say "thus saith the Lord" I think that we must accept that this is more than merely one man's opinion. That is to say, that Paul in giving this advice (But to the rest I, not the Lord, say:) is in line with the Holy Spirit...otherwise we have a serious conundrum with the writings of Paul! :hmmm:

Excellent point and I agree in bold. :thumbsup: All God's Word is inspired. Just thought I'd put the perspective out there.

2 Tim. 3:16-17

16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

God bless,

GE

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

1Cor. 7:15

Only desertion if the unbeliever wants out of the marriage right? Or are you saying this passage refer to if a Christian (Believer) wants out (a divorce) as well... :help:

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

I'm guessing here...but he is probably referring to the principle in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

This speaks specifically to an unbeliever leaving a believer.

As far as the matter of a (believing) husband or wife walking out on their (believing) spouse, that is to say abandonment...that is a matter of some debate.

Debate yes. But don't forget the passage right before 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Also keep in mind that 1 Cor. 7:12-16 Paul is clearly saying this as advice from Paul the Christian... Or what do you think?

1 Cor. 7:10-11

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Agreed...and I certainly wasn't skirting the issue...

So many times though, abandonment by one or the other results in or is the product of an adulterous relationship, thus my comment about subject to debate.

If we accept that Paul is indeed speaking by the leading of the Holy Spirit, then even though he doesn't say "thus saith the Lord" I think that we must accept that this is more than merely one man's opinion. That is to say, that Paul in giving this advice (But to the rest I, not the Lord, say:) is in line with the Holy Spirit...otherwise we have a serious conundrum with the writings of Paul! :hmmm:

Thanks McGuyver, you nailed it for me the first time around. I think the thing with two believing spouses is that God expects them to take marriage as seriously as He takes it, and so to have love and commitment enough for each other in the first place to be able to enter into it of their own desire and freewill. Otherwise, why do it? Therefore there would be no reason to divorce or desert or abandon. Seems fair and simple enough to me. It's all in the three-strand cord of God, husband and wife. With Christ, all things are possible :)

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ok, so please clarify. is the desertion thing biblically founded? i don't remember reading that anywhere at all.

1Cor. 7:15

Only desertion if the unbeliever wants out of the marriage right? Or are you saying this passage refer to if a Christian (Believer) wants out (a divorce) as well... :help:

That verse refers specifically to a non-believer.

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1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

If the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the believing spouse, he is free to do so and the believing spouse is not in bondage to the unbelieving spouse any more.

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This is an interesting discussion. My wife has been gone for a little over a month now. She claims to be a believer and even thinks she is right with God, though she abandoned her position in our marriage and stole off with our children. She is banking on unlimited grace and that her works mean nothing considering salvation. Believes she can do what she will and be OK. The doctrine of OSAS allowed her to choose to leave and also allows her to continue to keep me from seeing my children regularly. Last time she made me wait a week to get 3 hours with one of my two children and about 45 minutes with the other. There is a reason that heresy is a work of the flesh as it allows the one who believes it to live in the flesh without fear of consequence.

When a man or woman has a hard heart, all they need to proceed to act upon the hardness of that heart is a conscience searing heretical doctrine that will give them 'liberty' to act at will without regard to what walking in the Spirit truly calls for. And we know that there is no condemnation to those who walk not after the flesh but the Spirit. I intercede for my wife daily as I am moved in my spirit to do so.

The church she goes to preaches that one does not need to worry about the sin they do this week as God has it all taken care of. They preach that having an unforgiving heart will only affect your relationship with God in this life but has no bearing on your eternal destiny. That as long as you believe Jesus died for you, you can continue to hold a grudge against anyone you want for as long as you want, even go to the grave with it and it does not matter.

To God, marriage is serious business. What God has joined together let not man put asunder.

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This is an interesting discussion. My wife has been gone for a little over a month now. She claims to be a believer and even thinks she is right with God, though she abandoned her position in our marriage and stole off with our children. She is banking on unlimited grace and that her works mean nothing considering salvation. Believes she can do what she will and be OK. The doctrine of OSAS allowed her to choose to leave and also allows her to continue to keep me from seeing my children regularly. Last time she made me wait a week to get 3 hours with one of my two children and about 45 minutes with the other. There is a reason that heresy is a work of the flesh as it allows the one who believes it to live in the flesh without fear of consequence.

When a man or woman has a hard heart, all they need to proceed to act upon the hardness of that heart is a conscience searing heretical doctrine that will give them 'liberty' to act at will without regard to what walking in the Spirit truly calls for. And we know that there is no condemnation to those who walk not after the flesh but the Spirit. I intercede for my wife daily as I am moved in my spirit to do so.

The church she goes to preaches that one does not need to worry about the sin they do this week as God has it all taken care of. They preach that having an unforgiving heart will only affect your relationship with God in this life but has no bearing on your eternal destiny. That as long as you believe Jesus died for you, you can continue to hold a grudge against anyone you want for as long as you want, even go to the grave with it and it does not matter.

To God, marriage is serious business. What God has joined together let not man put asunder.

I'm sorry to hear that, gdemoss; i don't think i could guess what it would be like if my husband did that to me. well done for continuing to pray for her! i pray God gives you a special blessing form His storehouse. have you ever challenged her about her faith, or confronted her on why she has allowed herself to be deceived?

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That and God hates divorce. Marriage must be seen as a covenant between man/woman and God and eachother. A covenant is not like a contract, it was never meant to be broken.

It's interesting that a lot of people like to use that verse and fail to acknowledge the fact that God DOES allow divorce for adultery and desertion. Why is that?

That is simple enough. God hates sin, ans the reasons He allows divorce for adultery is because it is a sin. Divorcing for desertion is new to me. Where is that found in scripture?

Isn't desertion considered a type of divorce? It is the putting away of, right? I know Cobalt touched on it in another thread on marriage where I spoke of my wife having left our home to live elsewhere.

Is it? I have not found this in scripture. What if someone is taken away on business a lot? Are they considered deserting their family? What about those in the service? What about those who go to make a new start for their family? Too many marriages have been ended by this train of thought. I don't fine it biblical. I see this as an escape of an uncomfortable situation.

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I'm sorry to hear that, gdemoss; i don't think i could guess what it would be like if my husband did that to me. well done for continuing to pray for her! i pray God gives you a special blessing form His storehouse. have you ever challenged her about her faith, or confronted her on why she has allowed herself to be deceived?

Thank you for the prayers, they are appreciated. Having a conversation with her is near impossible. She does not participate in the discussions except it be through much provocation and it borders on pushing for unhealthy debate and strife. I am simply trusting in God to work in her life to bring her to the truth as he has worked with me. It is wonderful that God does not need me to be part of the solution by confronting her about that which is error in her thinking. A prophet is not without honor save in his own country. Sometimes we must wait for God to bring the source of truth from a far.

That and God hates divorce. Marriage must be seen as a covenant between man/woman and God and eachother. A covenant is not like a contract, it was never meant to be broken.

It's interesting that a lot of people like to use that verse and fail to acknowledge the fact that God DOES allow divorce for adultery and desertion. Why is that?

That is simple enough. God hates sin, ans the reasons He allows divorce for adultery is because it is a sin. Divorcing for desertion is new to me. Where is that found in scripture?

Isn't desertion considered a type of divorce? It is the putting away of, right? I know Cobalt touched on it in another thread on marriage where I spoke of my wife having left our home to live elsewhere.

Is it? I have not found this in scripture. What if someone is taken away on business a lot? Are they considered deserting their family? What about those in the service? What about those who go to make a new start for their family? Too many marriages have been ended by this train of thought. I don't fine it biblical. I see this as an escape of an uncomfortable situation.

Alan, I am speaking on behalf of those who have personally chosen to abandon their place in the home and move away. I hope you understand that. I call the desertion a divorce in and of itself.

Having ones spouse 'away' for some practical reason and choosing to call it abandonment is a whole other thing. I would not agree with such a position.

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For God marriage is clearly a covenant between one man and one woman. Anything other than this is outside of God's plan. Many people pushing for other forms of marriage point to the polygamy practiced in the Old Testament. I like to point back that none of those worked out well, all had issues and problems.

Paul pointed out that even one would have issues...heh.

1Cr 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

I can't even imagine trying to deal with more than one...*sigh*

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For God marriage is clearly a covenant between one man and one woman. Anything other than this is outside of God's plan. Many people pushing for other forms of marriage point to the polygamy practiced in the Old Testament. I like to point back that none of those worked out well, all had issues and problems.

Paul pointed out that even one would have issues...heh.

1Cr 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

I can't even imagine trying to deal with more than one...*sigh*

amen brother. and you are in our prayers, I have been through something like this many years ago and I know the pain it causes. God will see you through, just dont make the mistake I did and blame God and spend a time as the prodigal son

No. I don't blame God. Even if it is of his direct doing, which could be possible, he does not do anything except it be for the purpose of causing me to grow in maturity and faith in him. I simply don't question his motives for either causing or simply allowing that which to happen to happen but seek to only trust him more. I love the grace of his Spirit poured out upon us that we might bear all that we must go through. Imagine the measure of the Spirit Paul had to go through all he did with such grace. God is good regardless of what my life looks like. I still have joy in Him.

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