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God help me!


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9 replies to this topic

#1
fairmaiden

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I don't know if many people browse this are of the forums or not, but how is homeschooling going for you all?

My daughter and I already do not have the best relationship. Ever since she was a baby, she's been pretty much nothing but trouble for me. Now I feel forced to homeschool her. I was looking forward to it, and we are making progress, but today was the worst fight we've had in school. I completely lost control, yelling at her as she continually mixed up the small letters "b, d, q, and p" even though we went over them a hundred times already.

i'm a horrible mother yelling at my child like that. how is she supposed to learn anything? we do repetition all the time and have several calm, successful school lessons, but sometimes when my stress level is up already, our school days end up half finished and with an explosion either on my part or her's. and then i don't want anything to do with her for the rest of the day.

i love my daughter with all my heart, but somedays i just don't like her at all.

i want to be able to successfully homeschool my daughter. I'm using the ABeka curriculum and I have all the aids to teach her, but I need patience to teach my daughter! For goodness sake's, she won't even be 4 and a half until December! I have to remain calm and not push her so hard even though I know that she can do it and that she knows it.

I don't think I'm looking for advice - maybe just some prayers. Am I the only horrible mother or have other mothers "lost it" some days while trying to homeschool the kids, manage babies and keep a clean house???

~ fairmaiden

#2
Fez

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I completely lost control, yelling at her as she continually mixed up the small letters "b, d, q, and p" even though we went over them a hundred times already.


Take a deep breath, relax.

Your daughter is 4 years old. Have you given thought to the fact that you are a good mother but have not been blessed with being a teacher? You can teach your daughter so much as her mom, but being a teacher is a gift and a calling, and not all are made for it. There are teachers here on worthy, and I would love to get their input.
God Bless.

#3
sheya joie

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Depending on the child, a four-year-old may not be ready for formal schooling yet. There's also something called 'unschooling' you might look into.

You know, one of the biggest lessons our children teach us is how much we adults need to cling to the LORD.

#4
the_patriot2014

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I have never seen a 4 year old who can get their letters straight all the time. I did some teaching at a daycare, and the big thing I learned was it took a lot of patience and understanding. Every kid is different, and learns differently, and at a different pace-if one method isn't working, try something new. Make a game out of it, repetition is good, but to much can actually confuse them. at 4 they should have lots of play time, try to incorporate learning into their games and see if that helps any. I know Im not really a "teacher" persay, but thats my two cents. Patience, and try different things.

#5
OldShep

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Hmmm! dyslexia...I have, and mixing these letters was and is a common problem with me, on top of my bad eye sight. You may want to look into it, not saying that your child has this problem.

http://dyslexia.yale...tervention.html

#6
enoob57

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I still have these problems... :red_smile: Love, Steven

#7
He giveth more grace

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Children don't go to public schools until six, she's four, schooling at that age should be fun - no pressure. I do believe that children at preschool age should receive some instructions to prepare them for the first grade, their minds at four are not setup for stress by a teacher. In my unqualified opinion, you should let up, somewhat, on pressing her. I think there should be times of play during school with the Mom/teacher, at four; I am not a doctor, but her mind/brain is still developing. When you see her mind shutting down, as it were, shes done, she won't receive more, until it is refreshed and restored with play. How long are your sessions? Do you have nap time? Play time?

It was a long time ago since I was in the First and Second Grade, but we use to lay on a mat and take a nap, I don't think they have those anymore - they should..

#8
NeedYouLord

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Fairmaiden...You are not alone...I've been homeschooling using Abeka; this will be our 5th year...And my daugher just aced a 9 week History Test!!! But It isn't all roses either (nothing really is-all the time) and it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done but the most rewarding at times...It wasn't too hard for me to decide to homeschool...I received that instruction from The Lord...in my prayer time...and scared!!! I was terrified!!! Just thinking about doing it...stressed me out...but when you know there is no other way...and there are more rewards to me in doing it than in not doing it...well then...we calm down and have fun!!! Well within reason...Hahaha

I'll pray for us both...I get upset sometimes too...I'll tell you like my daughter tells me...I love you, Mom...And I love you, Fairmaiden-Mom...and I'll add this...it's going to be ok...I don't always like what my daughter does either...but just like our Heavenly Father...( I learned this going to Abeka School, Hahaha, we are in the 4th grade this year!!! It's a miracle!!!) Our Father loves us no matter what...but He certainly doesn't like what we do sometimes...I've had to go to Him and ask forgiveness for some of the things I've said.

And not everyone can do as I've done...right or wrong...I get stressed too easy-I found out...so I drew a line in the sand so to speak...I don't put too much on my paper plate anymore!!! I can only do so much and I want to have fun in my old age...Hahaha...So sometimes a few things are left undone or either I'm given the knowledge or the strength to do them...Otherwise...I'm a Christian homeschooling grey-headed-let's get 'er done kinda person...

I just want to add...The Lord had a work to do in me and I'm glad because I needed working on!!! The thing is...He isn't done yet!!! And for that, I'm very grateful...Yeah!!!

Write me anytime...Love you In Him, Kathy

#9
enoob57

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Fairmaiden...You are not alone...I've been homeschooling using Abeka; this will be our 5th year...And my daugher just aced a 9 week History Test!!! But It isn't all roses either (nothing really is-all the time) and it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done but the most rewarding at times...It wasn't too hard for me to decide to homeschool...I received that instruction from The Lord...in my prayer time...and scared!!! I was terrified!!! Just thinking about doing it...stressed me out...but when you know there is no other way...and there are more rewards to me in doing it than in not doing it...well then...we calm down and have fun!!! Well within reason...Hahaha

I'll pray for us both...I get upset sometimes too...I'll tell you like my daughter tells me...I love you, Mom...And I love you, Fairmaiden-Mom...and I'll add this...it's going to be ok...I don't always like what my daughter does either...but just like our Heavenly Father...( I learned this going to Abeka School, Hahaha, we are in the 4th grade this year!!! It's a miracle!!!) Our Father loves us no matter what...but He certainly doesn't like what we do sometimes...I've had to go to Him and ask forgiveness for some of the things I've said.

And not everyone can do as I've done...right or wrong...I get stressed too easy-I found out...so I drew a line in the sand so to speak...I don't put too much on my paper plate anymore!!! I can only do so much and I want to have fun in my old age...Hahaha...So sometimes a few things are left undone or either I'm given the knowledge or the strength to do them...Otherwise...I'm a Christian homeschooling grey-headed-let's get 'er done kinda person...

I just want to add...The Lord had a work to do in me and I'm glad because I needed working on!!! The thing is...He isn't done yet!!! And for that, I'm very grateful...Yeah!!!

Write me anytime...Love you In Him, Kathy

I love His Presence in our lives... causing no pretense just being... Love, Steven

#10
tileas

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As a teacher in the system for 8 years and now a homeschool mom for the past 6, I just want to encourage you to play, read, bake, built, read, paint, listen, play, read... and just enjoy your child at this age. Your child will grow the most at this stage and age through play. Their reading will grow through being read to and being surrounded by literature rich environment.

When I was teaching in the system, I used this example to help parents understand where kids are coming from mixing up their b,p,q, and d. I taught 3rd grade and there were kids coming into third grade who would still get them mixed up.

For a child, everything is concrete. A pen is a pen, no matter which way you turn it. The same for a glass, a dog, a phone, a computer, a bed, and everything else in their concrete world. And then someone tells them that there is this new thing... b,d,q,p. Unlike everything that they have encountered to this point, this new thing is something different every way you look at it, and to complicate matters, 3 of the 4 "things" rhyme. And this new thing is completely abstract and means nothing to a child who is too young, OR just not ready. My second son just wasn't interested in reading himself (loved being read to) until he was in second grade. I wrestled with this since my first son read very early. I continued to read with him and spend that time and a few months into grade two, he was ready. When he was, he took off. He's in 5th grade now, and reads many novels.

Your daughter is four. Enjoy her for a 4 year old. Are you possibly expecting things from her that she is not ready for and this leads to your frustrations?

Bless you and your daughter. May you find joy in each other that you don't see at the moment. :)




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