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God vs Parent

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9 replies to this topic

#1
nebula

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What do you do when are placed in a situation where you either:

a. Trust in God and step out in faith

or

b. Please/honor/respect your parent by playing it safe and not doing anything until surrounding situations are lined up before making any plans?

#2
the_patriot2014

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I would say discernment is key, every situation is different. What is the situation? is it something you feel God is commanding you to do, or something you know God would approve of? what do you have to gain by stepping up now, and what do have to lose? and likewise, what do you have to gain by waiting for a more opportune time, and what to lose? for example, if you want to go to church and you know your parents arnt really friendly, do you just up and go without asking them? or do you ask them first chance they get, even if the happen to be drunk at the time? or do you wait till a time where theyre sober and more opt to listen to your request? If its an actual command from God-I would say its always option A. but God doesnt always speak like that anymore-I would say a lot depends on the situation.

#3
nebula

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For clarity, the child is an adult no longer living at home.

And the issue isn't just about following God but about supporting this one's betrothed husband.

#4
ladypeartree

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Pray, pray,pray and pray again ...then go talk to someone who you trust that is NOT involved either emotionaly or by ties of affection to anyone concerned in the situation.
It is easy to just say " take option A " BUT sometimes we hear what we want to hear and God sends a warning through others. Without knowing the situation it is dangerous to offer advice in what sounds like a very impotrant decision ....praying for you sis

#5
the_patriot2014

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out of the home, and supporting ones husband, then the duty is to her husband, not her parents. And, I should note, you can honor ones parents without having to actually obey them, but when a women leaves her parents to get married, she is now under her husbands authority.

#6
GoldenEagle

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What do you do when are placed in a situation where you either:

a. Trust in God and step out in faith

or

b. Please/honor/respect your parent by playing it safe and not doing anything until surrounding situations are lined up before making any plans?


Probably need more information. I would tend to agree with Patriot depends on the circumstances. We should always trust God over trusting our parents.

But I agree with Patriot. When someone is married their first loyalty is to God then their spouse. Parents come third I would think?

#7
nebula

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Actually, it's betrothed, so not married yet.

And the parent believes honor = obedience.

#8
GoldenEagle

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The Bible does say children are to honor/obey their parents.

Actually, it's betrothed, so not married yet.

And the parent believes honor = obedience.


Nebula well if it is a fiancé situation then that complicates matters a bit. What is it that the child is disagreeing on? How old is the child?

“…the parent believes honor = obedience…”

This is true. There is no question that a young person living at home should honor their parents’ wishes.

Ex. 20:12
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.


Eph 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”


God bless,
GE

#9
GoldenEagle

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Nebula,

However, there is the flip side to this as well. We are called as parents not to provoke our children to anger but point them to the Lord. We’re also not to provoke children to the point they become discouraged. Would you agree?

Eph. 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Col. 3:21
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.


Another question would be does God speak directly to individuals and at what point in time do we as parents have to let our children make their own choices with God’s guidance? When do they become responsible for their own lives and actions? When do parents go from being authorities to being mentors? Is it at 18? Is it when a child marries? Is it at 21? Is it when they graduate from university/college? I wonder...

This takes great wisdom. What do you think?

God bless,
GE

#10
GoldenEagle

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Nebula,

Regarding wisdom I often turn to the Proverbs.

Prov. 13:1
A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.


Prov. 15:5
A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.


Prov. 23:13
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.


Prov. 23:22
Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.


Prov. 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.


I don’t have the answer to the situation. I’m not sure there’s an easy answer.

I can tell you what my Father in Law (FiL) did. When we were dating/courting he and my wife’s mother were the authorities over my wife's life. When we got engaged I shared the authority over my wife’s life with them. When we were married they passed on that authority to me as her husband, brother in Christ, lover, protector, and friend. I am to be her servant leader and point her to Christ.

Those are my thoughts. I hope it helps. Praying for the situation. ;)

God bless,
GE




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