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Twin's hubby has stage 4 cancer

She is depressed My own flare up in PTSD

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33 replies to this topic

#1
hippo's hope is HIM

hippo's hope is HIM

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Hey everyone. I come with a heavy heart tonight and seeking some prayer for my family and myself and needing reassurance.

My twin, Kim, has known her husband, Steve, for 2 years. They got married last year. He found out a month ago he has stage 4 cancer, he had emergency surgery to remove a large tumor from his colon. The dr. says he has 6 months to live without chemo and 3-4 years with chemo. Steve and my sister do not believe in God any more. They have both left their faiths prior to all this happening. Steve is super angry and scared about chemo.

My twin has suffered severe depression for years that has only been made a lot worse by the news of her husband being ill. She also found out last week that she is not pregnant. They've been trying for a year to get pregnant, and she got the sad news that she was not.

She has asked me if I would be a surrogate for her and steve and have their baby for them. I cannot. I just. can't. :20: I don't even want kids of my own. I couldn't birth a child and then not raise it. I just. Am not capable. I spoke with a friend in chat tonight and she made me realize no matter what I decide it's a lose lose situation. And that my sister is going to take everything out on me regardless of what happens.

I am trying to believe this statement for the next little while, "I can't be what everyone demands of me and that's ok, I can make my choices and that's ok too, I will do what is best for me in this instance and know that the Lord is with me". I feel horribly guilty for what I am going to have to tell my twin. I don't want to let her down. and I cannot believe she asked this burden of me. I feel very overwhelmed.

And to top it off, I have had a severe trigger in my PTSD. I was up all night last night with nightmares, I was late for work. I had to drink 8 cups of coffee just to be alert today. I feel like there is a hippo sitting on my chest stopping me from breathing. I'm in panic mode. I feel physically ill from my PTSD and from all the stress of all of this.

I am afraid I wont be enough to help my sister through this. She is already suicidal and refuses counseling. I talked Steve into going to see a counselor he is checking into it tomorrow. Because he needs a safe way to vent that doesn't involve making me or Kim cry.

#2
OldShep

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I'm so sorry to hear this news, I'm glad that you feel safe to share it with us here on Worthy. You are a Child of God and He knows your Pain and the pain that your sister and her husband is going through. As a child of God you can say NO, and you do not need to explain that choice to anyone, even your sister.
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Lord Jesus sometime I just can not find the right words to pray, please hear the spirit with-in me and give peace to Hippo.
ICL~~~Dennis

#3
Leonard

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May the Lord bring them to saving faith, and grant a perfect healing. +

Please look up cesium carbonate and its efficacy as a cancer treatment. There's lots of info online.

#4
Tinky

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Praying! :heart:

#5
nChrist

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You and your family will be in my prayers.

#6
Bubba4J

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Praying :th_praying:

#7
ncn

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Praying.

#8
joi

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Praying!

I pray you feel no guilt for not having a baby for your sister, in addition to your other requests.

#9
FresnoJoe

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Praying~!

#10
worshiper70

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I'm so sorry hip. I will be praying about all this. If need anything, you can leave me a message. God bless. Just keep your eyes ov Christ!
Blessings

#11
Jayyycuuup

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I will be praying for you and your family. One thing to remember is to hold out hope and expect a miracle. Dont allow the destination of what man tells you be the fulfillment because that is Gods choice man has no say in what their destiny will be; seek Him.

~Praying~

#12
PinkPaws

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Praying.

#13
hippo's hope is HIM

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thanks everyone.

I would like to add that next Monday I have a very intense and hopefully healing session planned with my new counselor. I am scared. And nervous. I don't know i I am more scared that something good will come of it, or more scared that nothing at all will happen.

Will you pray that I be open and receptive to whatever happens?And that I will not be triggered too badly from my PTSD and that I would start sleeping normally again? I am so ready to move forward and it seems like the start of moving forward is going to happen on that Monday. But I need a lot of 'support'. If I break down it could be good or really really bad. I am just not sure what to expect.

#14
OldShep

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Will you pray that I be open and receptive to whatever happens?


I will pray that you will be open to the Love of our Lord Jesus and the Will of God, {not to whatever happens} for I do not know your new counselor, but, I do know our Lord Jesus.. place your Trust in Him. Every time I went to a new counselor I trusted God to allow me to feel at peace, I've had a few.... Relax, girl, relax, chances are this new person is a little nervous to, :calicon17: after all even counselors are human... :mgbowtie: ....

#15
NeedYouLord

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Amen...In Agreement that we look to You, Lord...Make a Way Where There Is No Way...I Pray In The Name of Jesus...

#16
worshiper70

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Praying for healing for you hip. God bless. Just lean on the Holy Spirit to calm and help your emotions. God bless

#17
Peace Maker Tony

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My heart breaks at this news! Praying as well, for your brother-in-law's healing and for you also, because you've been saddled with terrible burdens that Jesus needs to carry for you. May He richly comfort and bles you in this difficult time!

Isaiah 4:1-5, 18-19

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
nations in exchange for your life.
5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.

Psalm 31:1-5, 9-11, 14-17

1 In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.
9 Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
14 But I trust in you, Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, Lord,
for I have cried out to you;

#18
hippo's hope is HIM

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I have some good news. I sat my sister down and talked to her, and she's not mad! She hadn't considered everything I told her. She is trying to make a decision about trying for a kid right now. She's very confused, and wants a piece of Steve to hold onto after he dies. She wants the baby badly, but knows it may not be the right time. I am really relieved that she is not angry and hating me right now.

I am feeling better today. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I had nightmares all night. Thursday I got slightly more sleep. and I finally I got a restful night on Friday. So I am very thankful...

Thank you all for your support.

#19
Selasphorus

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praying

#20
csar7

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I will be praying for you and your family that God will work miracles for all of you.




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