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Dating a divorced person a sin?

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#1
DearJudy,OurLord

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Hello, Can a person date or marry a divorced person?

#2
BrianCade

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Your question is too broad. The circumstances of the divorce must be taken into account as well as the character of the divorced person in question.

Edited by BrianCade, 16 December 2012 - 04:06 AM.


#3
Selasphorus

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a topic with which i myself have had experience, and there's not a truly simple "one off" answer, but God has something to say on the subject. i'm divorced, and know well there are many professing Christians that think "oh that's bad news, stay away from there." and if that's what God has laid on your heart, it's best to heed it (please make sure it's based on what God said though, and not merely someone else's opinion.) 20+ yrs ago i was in a situation that led me to devote a good bit of prayer and study to this topic, and in the process to consult with some pastors of different denominations along with PhD and ThD bible scholars. i wish i had those notes now, but two convincing points i recall are summarized here and may provide a starting point for your own inquiry and determination. Philippians 2:12 12Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."

the Bible speaks to the situation and Jesus himself addressed it in: Matthew 19:1-12. my understanding is God does not intend for a marriage to be dissolved (see Malachi 2:16) but there is a just cause for divorce (infidelity, adultery, sex with someone other than your spouse, whatever you want to call it.) in His teaching there is a guilty party and an un-guilty party. whether the un-guilty party does the "putting away," or the guilty party does the "putting away," the un-guilty party is free to re-marry without fear of committing adultery, while the guilty party and whomever marries the guilty party are committing adultery.

having said that, it would be an egregious error to presume someone could not be truly repentant and receive forgiveness for their sin if they had unjustly "put away" their spouse. from v3 to v9 Jesus was speaking to the Pharisees, who had inquired of divorce under Mosaic law, which gave a list of "valid" reasons for divorce. in v10 to v12 He addressed His disciples, who said if that was the case with a man and his wife, it must be better for a man not to marry at all. to which He replied it was not the case for all men, but for some it is; "...For him that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

Paul addresses marriage along with the divorced situation in 1Corinthians 7:1-39. in v27 Paul states "27Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife." however, in v28 he states "28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned, and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh, but i spare you." in another comment Paul appears to echo Jesus' words to His disciples in Matt. v10-v12, i.e. it's better not to be married, but everyone can't adhere to that and contain themselves, so in Paul's words in v9 "9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." my understanding is the term translated as "burn" is akin to being consumed by desire or passion, which would take focus away from more important obligatons, spiritual, physical, etc.

Paul's comment on "trouble in the flesh" is worthy of consideration. in the case of divorce, there was/were a/some problem(s) (sin) that led to the divorce. while my understanding is anyone can repent and receive forgiveness for sin(s), the question here would be whether the problem(s) that lead to the divorce has/have been addressed and rectified.

hope this might be helpful in your search.

#4
LOVE SONGS

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I am divorced now going on 8 years.
Remaining celebate... before the Lord...until I marry again.

My ex was the one that cheated behind my back during our marriage. He left me for her and he married her.

I am a one man woman and am faithful and loyal in courtship and in marriage.

Just because I am single and divorced doesn't stop me from dating a guy or stop me from having a relationship with God.
As long as I don't fornicate and remain faithful to God.

I am praying to meet the right one that God has for me ....for I hate single life.

#5
Butero

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It is wrong, unless the divorce was because of sexual immorality, such as adultery. If it was for any other reason, it would be wrong to date or marry that person. It will also lead to a lot of people constantly judging you, and while you may think you can handle it, many who have actually gone through it find it more of a burden than they thought it would be.

#6
OneLight

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It is wrong, unless the divorce was because of sexual immorality, such as adultery. If it was for any other reason, it would be wrong to date or marry that person. It will also lead to a lot of people constantly judging you, and while you may think you can handle it, many who have actually gone through it find it more of a burden than they thought it would be.

There is also one other reason Paul gave, no the Lord. If the person was married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever divorced them due to their faith in Christ.

#7
desi2007

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You received some good advice here for your question about "if dating a divorced person a sin"...I just want to add to that and sometimes the journey toward spiritual maturity lasts a lifetime. When we cease to grow, either emotionally or spiritually, we do ourselves a disservice. But if we study Gods word, if we obey His commandments, and live in the center of His will, we will be growing Christians...and this is what God wants for our lives. Pray and seek His will.
blessings,
desi

#8
Sevenseas

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What if...what if...the person was divorced BEFORE they became a Christian? I didn't see that one above, so I've added it just for some thought
on the matter

But I agree with the thought that if you are not sure then perhaps you might be better not to date a divorced person even if they had every
reason in the world, with Biblical precedent, to be divorced or get divorced, as a Christian.

#9
the_patriot2014

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I would say, why are you asking us? it is the Lord you should be asking. If its the Lords will, then all else is miniscule. If the Lord is behind it, the fact that you may be judged by others may be a burden, but not one you cannot overcome. If it is a Godly relationship, then I see no problem. If the person was divorced before they became a christian, then its a moot point-once you become a christian, you are made whole, God forgave them of all their past sins, making it a moot point if you ask me. I would say go to God in prayer over it, and take it one step at a time.

#10
Seriousseeker

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Hello, Can a person date or marry a divorced person?


Yes, I suppose one can, but the real question is should one. Some good responses were posted here. The Bible clearly shows that a divorced person (that is a professing Christian) is bound by the Word of God.

a) Sometimes separation by a professing Christian is needed in the face of great strain, and God understands that, but an affair during this time is adultery. Divorce is a separate consideration;

b) A Christian marriage is dissolved by death of a spouse or adultery; however, the adultery charge may be rescinded by the offended spouse if there is repentance, a reunion, and reconciliation. It depends on the forgiveness by the offended spouse. God allows that in His Word, though the offender needs to repent before God and truly seek His acceptance, which is given if the heart is right and sincere ---otherwise, the offender will answer before God (in Heaven if a true "born again" believer);

c) If a Christian flirts with a divorced person they are also committing adultery, as God says, and if they marry they are both under judgment.

I think this about covers it if I haven't missed anything from the Word of God.

#11
Miss Agapelove

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I felt strongly after prayer to add to this thread my own personal views, as I am divorced and asked for this to take palce as my husband was very abusive towards me in secret.

I seeked to find Jesus as a way out of my dispare and unhappy life.....I wanted to understand this cruelty as I was a submissive wife attending his every need even before my Love of God.....

After some time my husband became very angry with my new desire to find Faith and treated me even worse to be honest, but I continued even my children were
also unhappy with my new found passion with Christ.

I persued my learning alone when ever I have moments alone with my bible and beleive much warfare took place, it was not easy at all even to open my bible with peace I had to ask elders of a church to come and bless me read....

Eventually I had a nervous breakdown as the mind games and abuse became to hard to bare but my Faith never wavered, infact I was treated so very badly by proffesionals due to my faith, and told to deny HIM and its not real, but I refused every time ! Amen
this only made things much worse for me but I still would never deny loving God at any cost...!

After 3 years of seeking advice about Divorce and eventually I had a breakdown of marraige granted from court so there was no need to be to personal about my husbands abuse and finally my husband agreed to it....but much more anger took place after my divorce had happend.....!

I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman!
I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

I am happy in Christ and do not feel loney at all, I have my children to care and love and the homless people and the poor to care for so there is never a time I feel that I am missing out......Lonely people are the ones who have no one to love or love them back, this is why God calls us to love they neighbours....it is when we love the unloved that we love Jesus !

God will deside and God shall judge everyones hearts and thats my view.......I wish any other divorced people a happy and peacfull life with there father in heaven God and peace be with you all...In Jesus name Amen xx

I forgot to add.....I do not intend to Marry so I do not date or look for the love of my life, as I already have the love I have been waiting for all my life....

(GOD is my EVERYTHING...)

I can honestly say I am tried and tested daily but my heart is bleesed to have God forgive all my sins and love me just as I AM ...Amen x

Edited by Miss Agapelove, 06 January 2013 - 09:04 AM.


#12
G23

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I felt strongly after prayer to add to this thread my own personal views, as I am divorced and asked for this to take palce as my husband was very abusive towards me in secret.

I seeked to find Jesus as a way out of my dispare and unhappy life.....I wanted to understand this cruelty as I was a submissive wife attending his every need even before my Love of God.....

After some time my husband became very angry with my new desire to find Faith and treated me even worse to be honest, but I continued even my children were
also unhappy with my new found passion with Christ.

I persued my learning alone when ever I have moments alone with my bible and beleive much warfare took place, it was not easy at all even to open my bible with peace I had to ask elders of a church to come and bless me read....

Eventually I had a nervous breakdown as the mind games and abuse became to hard to bare but my Faith never wavered, infact I was treated so very badly by proffesionals due to my faith, and told to deny HIM and its not real, but I refused every time ! Amen
this only made things much worse for me but I still would never deny loving God at any cost...!

After 3 years of seeking advice about Divorce and eventually I had a breakdown of marraige granted from court so there was no need to be to personal about my husbands abuse and finally my husband agreed to it....but much more anger took place after my divorce had happend.....!

I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman!
I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

I am happy in Christ and do not feel loney at all, I have my children to care and love and the homless people and the poor to care for so there is never a time I feel that I am missing out......Lonely people are the ones who have no one to love or love them back, this is why God calls us to love they neighbours....it is when we love the unloved that we love Jesus !

God will deside and God shall judge everyones hearts and thats my view.......I wish any other divorced people a happy and peacfull life with there father in heaven God and peace be with you all...In Jesus name Amen xx

I forgot to add.....I do not intend to Marry so I do not date or look for the love of my life, as I already have the love I have been waiting for all my life....

(GOD is my EVERYTHING...)

I can honestly say I am tried and tested daily but my heart is bleesed to have God forgive all my sins and love me just as I AM ...Amen x


That is awsome. Very inspiring. I'm happy you know that God is all you need, and that you don't feel the need to re-marry because you're never lonely as God is always with you and loves you more than anyone can even imagine. GOD BLESS YOU.

#13
younique1977

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I felt strongly after prayer to add to this thread my own personal views, as I am divorced and asked for this to take palce as my husband was very abusive towards me in secret.

I seeked to find Jesus as a way out of my dispare and unhappy life.....I wanted to understand this cruelty as I was a submissive wife attending his every need even before my Love of God.....

After some time my husband became very angry with my new desire to find Faith and treated me even worse to be honest, but I continued even my children were
also unhappy with my new found passion with Christ.

I persued my learning alone when ever I have moments alone with my bible and beleive much warfare took place, it was not easy at all even to open my bible with peace I had to ask elders of a church to come and bless me read....

Eventually I had a nervous breakdown as the mind games and abuse became to hard to bare but my Faith never wavered, infact I was treated so very badly by proffesionals due to my faith, and told to deny HIM and its not real, but I refused every time ! Amen
this only made things much worse for me but I still would never deny loving God at any cost...!

After 3 years of seeking advice about Divorce and eventually I had a breakdown of marraige granted from court so there was no need to be to personal about my husbands abuse and finally my husband agreed to it....but much more anger took place after my divorce had happend.....!

I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman!
I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

I am happy in Christ and do not feel loney at all, I have my children to care and love and the homless people and the poor to care for so there is never a time I feel that I am missing out......Lonely people are the ones who have no one to love or love them back, this is why God calls us to love they neighbours....it is when we love the unloved that we love Jesus !

God will deside and God shall judge everyones hearts and thats my view.......I wish any other divorced people a happy and peacfull life with there father in heaven God and peace be with you all...In Jesus name Amen xx

I forgot to add.....I do not intend to Marry so I do not date or look for the love of my life, as I already have the love I have been waiting for all my life....

(GOD is my EVERYTHING...)

I can honestly say I am tried and tested daily but my heart is bleesed to have God forgive all my sins and love me just as I AM ...Amen x



Wow....I am blessed to read this testimony! I'm very glad to see someone hold fast to the faith in this way, as I have seen many Believers separate, divorce and remarry different individuals in their walk. And many refuse to acknowledge that it goes against scripture. There is a pridefulness attached that they say that only God can judge them. Which is true, but, it is used in a negative-prideful way, and doesn't want anyone to say anything about their situation. But the Word is clear on this topic. I'm glad to know there are those who will stand for truth by living it and setting an example for truth. I believe the Lord blesses obedience.

#14
G23

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I felt strongly after prayer to add to this thread my own personal views, as I am divorced and asked for this to take palce as my husband was very abusive towards me in secret.

I seeked to find Jesus as a way out of my dispare and unhappy life.....I wanted to understand this cruelty as I was a submissive wife attending his every need even before my Love of God.....

After some time my husband became very angry with my new desire to find Faith and treated me even worse to be honest, but I continued even my children were
also unhappy with my new found passion with Christ.

I persued my learning alone when ever I have moments alone with my bible and beleive much warfare took place, it was not easy at all even to open my bible with peace I had to ask elders of a church to come and bless me read....

Eventually I had a nervous breakdown as the mind games and abuse became to hard to bare but my Faith never wavered, infact I was treated so very badly by proffesionals due to my faith, and told to deny HIM and its not real, but I refused every time ! Amen
this only made things much worse for me but I still would never deny loving God at any cost...!

After 3 years of seeking advice about Divorce and eventually I had a breakdown of marraige granted from court so there was no need to be to personal about my husbands abuse and finally my husband agreed to it....but much more anger took place after my divorce had happend.....!

I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman!
I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

I am happy in Christ and do not feel loney at all, I have my children to care and love and the homless people and the poor to care for so there is never a time I feel that I am missing out......Lonely people are the ones who have no one to love or love them back, this is why God calls us to love they neighbours....it is when we love the unloved that we love Jesus !

God will deside and God shall judge everyones hearts and thats my view.......I wish any other divorced people a happy and peacfull life with there father in heaven God and peace be with you all...In Jesus name Amen xx

I forgot to add.....I do not intend to Marry so I do not date or look for the love of my life, as I already have the love I have been waiting for all my life....

(GOD is my EVERYTHING...)

I can honestly say I am tried and tested daily but my heart is bleesed to have God forgive all my sins and love me just as I AM ...Amen x



Wow....I am blessed to read this testimony! I'm very glad to see someone hold fast to the faith in this way, as I have seen many Believers separate, divorce and remarry different individuals in their walk. And many refuse to acknowledge that it goes against scripture. There is a pridefulness attached that they say that only God can judge them. Which is true, but, it is used in a negative-prideful way, and doesn't want anyone to say anything about their situation. But the Word is clear on this topic. I'm glad to know there are those who will stand for truth by living it and setting an example for truth. I believe the Lord blesses obedience.


Amen!

#15
GoldenEagle

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Your question is too broad. The circumstances of the divorce must be taken into account as well as the character of the divorced person in question.


I think BrianCade makes a good obseravatin. The circumstances surrounding the divorce must be taken into account. :thumbsup:

#16
GoldenEagle

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I felt strongly after prayer to add to this thread my own personal views, as I am divorced and asked for this to take palce as my husband was very abusive towards me in secret.

I seeked to find Jesus as a way out of my dispare and unhappy life.....I wanted to understand this cruelty as I was a submissive wife attending his every need even before my Love of God.....

After some time my husband became very angry with my new desire to find Faith and treated me even worse to be honest, but I continued even my children were
also unhappy with my new found passion with Christ.

I persued my learning alone when ever I have moments alone with my bible and beleive much warfare took place, it was not easy at all even to open my bible with peace I had to ask elders of a church to come and bless me read....

Eventually I had a nervous breakdown as the mind games and abuse became to hard to bare but my Faith never wavered, infact I was treated so very badly by proffesionals due to my faith, and told to deny HIM and its not real, but I refused every time ! Amen
this only made things much worse for me but I still would never deny loving God at any cost...!

After 3 years of seeking advice about Divorce and eventually I had a breakdown of marraige granted from court so there was no need to be to personal about my husbands abuse and finally my husband agreed to it....but much more anger took place after my divorce had happend.....!

I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman!
I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

I am happy in Christ and do not feel loney at all, I have my children to care and love and the homless people and the poor to care for so there is never a time I feel that I am missing out......Lonely people are the ones who have no one to love or love them back, this is why God calls us to love they neighbours....it is when we love the unloved that we love Jesus !

God will deside and God shall judge everyones hearts and thats my view.......I wish any other divorced people a happy and peacfull life with there father in heaven God and peace be with you all...In Jesus name Amen xx

I forgot to add.....I do not intend to Marry so I do not date or look for the love of my life, as I already have the love I have been waiting for all my life....

(GOD is my EVERYTHING...)

I can honestly say I am tried and tested daily but my heart is bleesed to have God forgive all my sins and love me just as I AM ...Amen x


Thanks for sharing your story Agape. :thumbsup: I'm sorry for the pain you've been through. Is your ex-husband a Christian?

God bless you. Praying for you and your family.

In Christ,
GE

#17
DearJudy,OurLord

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Hey guys thanks for all your godly opinions..and yes of course I was praying about it and the Lord answered ..in the middle of night one evening He gave me this...verse: Ezekiel 44:22 to the levites, They shall not marry a widow or a divorced woman, but only virgins of the offspring of the house of Israel, or a widow who is the widow of a priest.....I sing for the Lord soooooo well I could not fight the Lord on this one..one of my prayers was, "ill just waiting till his ex dies" lol ..well now my prayer is that God could restore his relationship ..or help him wait and honor God..Thanks Guys Blessings

#18
G23

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Hey guys thanks for all your godly opinions..and yes of course I was praying about it and the Lord answered ..in the middle of night one evening He gave me this...verse: Ezekiel 44:22 to the levites, They shall not marry a widow or a divorced woman, but only virgins of the offspring of the house of Israel, or a widow who is the widow of a priest.....I sing for the Lord soooooo well I could not fight the Lord on this one..one of my prayers was, "ill just waiting till his ex dies" lol ..well now my prayer is that God could restore his relationship ..or help him wait and honor God..Thanks Guys Blessings


I'm so happy you got your answer from God :)

#19
Miss Agapelove

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Hello Brother's & sister's....

Please could I say here, I am speaking from my heart and If I have come across as being pridfull, then please forgive me as I speak simply & true to my own heart. I am true to my Faith and true to Gods laws....

God tells us we have free will, so please feel free to comment towards my words as you wish...I will never take offence to any comment a person may view towards me.....

Peace be with you....In Jesus name....Amen x





#20
Miss Agapelove

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Hello Golden Eagle...

In answer to your question about my ex- husband...No he hated God and the air I breathed.....But I have forgiven all of his torment and I have no pain in my heart anymore God has given me a brand new heart, Just as he promises.....x

Its funny because I actually told my husband one day after giving him a book ( redeeming Love - francis Rivers )with a note saying boldly...
(((((((( thank you for saving my life ))))))))

He looked at me puzzeled.....replying;

" How have I saved your life exactly" with a very ~nervous~ smile?

I said..." Ohh simply because, without all of the pain you caused me darling...I would never have found GOD!
So now I have found the true love of my life...I cant thank you enough, and also please forgive me for anything that I have done wrong to you, as I have forgiven you too.....

I then said ...God Bless you.....and said goodbye.....That is exactly how it happened.....

God Bless you x














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