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Dating a divorced person a sin?

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#21
Miss Agapelove

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I felt strongly after prayer to add to this thread my own personal views, as I am divorced and asked for this to take palce as my husband was very abusive towards me in secret.

I seeked to find Jesus as a way out of my dispare and unhappy life.....I wanted to understand this cruelty as I was a submissive wife attending his every need even before my Love of God.....

After some time my husband became very angry with my new desire to find Faith and treated me even worse to be honest, but I continued even my children were
also unhappy with my new found passion with Christ.

I persued my learning alone when ever I have moments alone with my bible and beleive much warfare took place, it was not easy at all even to open my bible with peace I had to ask elders of a church to come and bless me read....

Eventually I had a nervous breakdown as the mind games and abuse became to hard to bare but my Faith never wavered, infact I was treated so very badly by proffesionals due to my faith, and told to deny HIM and its not real, but I refused every time ! Amen
this only made things much worse for me but I still would never deny loving God at any cost...!

After 3 years of seeking advice about Divorce and eventually I had a breakdown of marraige granted from court so there was no need to be to personal about my husbands abuse and finally my husband agreed to it....but much more anger took place after my divorce had happend.....!

I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman!
I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen

I am happy in Christ and do not feel loney at all, I have my children to care and love and the homless people and the poor to care for so there is never a time I feel that I am missing out......Lonely people are the ones who have no one to love or love them back, this is why God calls us to love they neighbours....it is when we love the unloved that we love Jesus !

God will deside and God shall judge everyones hearts and thats my view.......I wish any other divorced people a happy and peacfull life with there father in heaven God and peace be with you all...In Jesus name Amen xx

I forgot to add.....I do not intend to Marry so I do not date or look for the love of my life, as I already have the love I have been waiting for all my life....

(GOD is my EVERYTHING...)

I can honestly say I am tried and tested daily but my heart is bleesed to have God forgive all my sins and love me just as I AM ...Amen x


Thanks for sharing your story Agape. :thumbsup: I'm sorry for the pain you've been through. Is your ex-husband a Christian?

God bless you. Praying for you and your family.

In Christ,
GE



#22
bopeep1909

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That depends on the circumstances.

#23
Eve76

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I agree with bopeep1909.

I would like to receive honest advice based on my story. I know what the Bible says on divorce, etc. I only would like to know how to apply it in my situation.
As a divorced person I have been judged and feel like an outcast.
I have been married for 12 years and we have 3 children together. In 2008 I decided to leave my husband.
When we met I was 19 and he was 32. At the time I was heavily involved in new age movement, he said he is a Christian. I thought as a Christian he must be a good person; I couldn't be more wrong! We fell in love, got married and had kids. He introduced me to Christianity, I got saved and entirely free from my past and witchcraft practices.
The strange part was that the more I loved God the more he was departing from faith. He was very jealous and abusive towards me. With time the violence grew and life became hard to bare. The abuse was in all shape and form: physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual etc. I used to pray for him and fast every Friday for him to change or for me to have more faith and strength to cope. Things went only from bad to worst. After 5 years of marriage I decided to separate from him for 6 months. I thought it will give him time to think and put things right.
He said everything will be better, he used many Bible verses to convince me, to show how good he is etc. I decided to give us another chance because of the children and I still loved him.
After that the abuse increased and it was worst then ever. He started sleeping around and always justified that it is my fault. I felt rejected, guilty and failure.
I kept forgiving him on daily basis, otherwise I would go crazy. I begged him and on many occasions got church people involved but without any changes for better.
The last straw on the camels back was that I found out he was sexually abusing one of our children. I had a nervous break down and run away with kids and started new life.
It took me 5 years to put my life back on truck and keep the faith.
At the moment I feel I am ready for a relationship but I found it impossible to do. I feel like I am cursed or something. I am a woman of one man. When I originally got married it was in believe that it will be 'until death us apart'.
I missed the part when husband loves and cherish his wife, provides and protect his family.
I still have that desire to marry and have a chance for normal, Godly life.
Be divorced is worst than be a widow. No Christian man wants to get involved with a person like me and all non-Christians have only one agenda on mind! What Jesus thinks of me?

#24
Sevenseas

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OK....Eve?

It is not true that no Christian man wants to get involved with a divorced woman (or vice versa)

However, it sounds to me like you still have more healing to do. It sounds like in some way you are believing you are a second class citizen. Either you are forgiven or you are not.

If you are forgiven (of all your sins) then you have to go forward...I do understand that is easier said then done....but while many people frown on divorce, I think, in your case it was justified

The best gift you could possibly give yourself, is to grow in Christ....and become stable in your relationships so that if and when God brings the right person into your life, you will be able
to be a partner to that person and not another dependent. We need to learn to trust in Christ and stand in Him before we are able to be with another person.

Too many people get married for the wrong reason...one of them being that their life will instantly become better or someone else will make them happy or whatever. That very seldom
works out that way. We should be able to be our own person and not expect someone else to fill all the voids in our lives

Hope that makes sense....

#25
Eve76

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OK....Eve?

It is not true that no Christian man wants to get involved with a divorced woman (or vice versa)

However, it sounds to me like you still have more healing to do. It sounds like in some way you are believing you are a second class citizen. Either you are forgiven or you are not.

If you are forgiven (of all your sins) then you have to go forward...I do understand that is easier said then done....but while many people frown on divorce, I think, in your case it was justified

The best gift you could possibly give yourself, is to grow in Christ....and become stable in your relationships so that if and when God brings the right person into your life, you will be able
to be a partner to that person and not another dependent. We need to learn to trust in Christ and stand in Him before we are able to be with another person.

Too many people get married for the wrong reason...one of them being that their life will instantly become better or someone else will make them happy or whatever. That very seldom
works out that way. We should be able to be our own person and not expect someone else to fill all the voids in our lives

Hope that makes sense....

I think you are right. Perhaps the time isn't right yet. Sometimes I am not sure if the healing process is over.
So, what do I do ? Pray and wait? Commit the situation in God's hands? How do I know when I am ready?

#26
InfoCentral

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I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman! I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen


Now that is how I read it too. Its not that a Christian can't get divorced for any reason but that they can't get remarried if the spouse didn't commit adultery or abandonment. The penalty outside of these reasons is a life of celibacy until the other spouse dies.

#27
Eve76

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I have been celabate in Faith and do not wish to re-marry again as it is a sin for any man to marry a divorced woman! I will follow my council of the bible and nothing will ever change my mind......God's breathed words.....Amen


Now that is how I read it too. Its not that a Christian can't get divorced for any reason but that they can't get remarried if the spouse didn't commit adultery or abandonment. The penalty outside of these reasons is a life of celibacy until the other spouse dies.


It is amazing that you are so strong. I have been celibate for last 5 years and I would like to be married. My ex-husband is healthy as an ox and I do not count on him to be dead any time soon.
He committed countless acts of adulterous acts and much worst things than that.
Does it mean that I am free to merry?

#28
bopeep1909

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http://www.compellin...ed-remarry.html


Also I was listening to a very good Christian discussion on the radio.They were saying that a divorced person should not date or get into another relationship for at least 2 years.If you get into another relationship too early you are bringing alot of old bad baggage to that relationship.You need time to heal.That made alot of sense to me.

#29
InfoCentral

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He committed countless acts of adulterous acts and much worst things than that.
Does it mean that I am free to merry?

If adultery occurred within the marriage from your spouse then absolutely you are permitted to remarry. I don't think that the adulter is allowed to remarry though.

#30
bopeep1909

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I am not the adulter but God has very clearly put it on my heart to stay single.I am at peace with that.

#31
*Zion*

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I agree with bopeep1909.

I would like to receive honest advice based on my story. I know what the Bible says on divorce, etc. I only would like to know how to apply it in my situation.
As a divorced person I have been judged and feel like an outcast.
I have been married for 12 years and we have 3 children together. In 2008 I decided to leave my husband.
When we met I was 19 and he was 32. At the time I was heavily involved in new age movement, he said he is a Christian. I thought as a Christian he must be a good person; I couldn't be more wrong! We fell in love, got married and had kids. He introduced me to Christianity, I got saved and entirely free from my past and witchcraft practices.
The strange part was that the more I loved God the more he was departing from faith. He was very jealous and abusive towards me. With time the violence grew and life became hard to bare. The abuse was in all shape and form: physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual etc. I used to pray for him and fast every Friday for him to change or for me to have more faith and strength to cope. Things went only from bad to worst. After 5 years of marriage I decided to separate from him for 6 months. I thought it will give him time to think and put things right.
He said everything will be better, he used many Bible verses to convince me, to show how good he is etc. I decided to give us another chance because of the children and I still loved him.
After that the abuse increased and it was worst then ever. He started sleeping around and always justified that it is my fault. I felt rejected, guilty and failure.
I kept forgiving him on daily basis, otherwise I would go crazy. I begged him and on many occasions got church people involved but without any changes for better.
The last straw on the camels back was that I found out he was sexually abusing one of our children. I had a nervous break down and run away with kids and started new life.
It took me 5 years to put my life back on truck and keep the faith.
At the moment I feel I am ready for a relationship but I found it impossible to do. I feel like I am cursed or something. I am a woman of one man. When I originally got married it was in believe that it will be 'until death us apart'.
I missed the part when husband loves and cherish his wife, provides and protect his family.
I still have that desire to marry and have a chance for normal, Godly life.
Be divorced is worst than be a widow. No Christian man wants to get involved with a person like me and all non-Christians have only one agenda on mind! What Jesus thinks of me?


I don't know if you are still following this topic, but I have some news for you. Jesus thinks that you are so precious, you are worth dying for. He's coming back for you, if you will be His bride - part of the body of Christ. From what you have written here, I would say that you have already found the perfect Husband- both man and God - Jesus Christ! he will never leave you, nor forsake you, and nothing can separate you from His love. Nothing!

Be blessed, and know that you are highly favoured and powerfully loved by the King of kings! In Jesus' mighty Name!!!

#32
GoldenEagle

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I agree with bopeep1909.

I would like to receive honest advice based on my story. I know what the Bible says on divorce, etc. I only would like to know how to apply it in my situation.
As a divorced person I have been judged and feel like an outcast.
I have been married for 12 years and we have 3 children together. In 2008 I decided to leave my husband.
When we met I was 19 and he was 32. At the time I was heavily involved in new age movement, he said he is a Christian. I thought as a Christian he must be a good person; I couldn't be more wrong! We fell in love, got married and had kids. He introduced me to Christianity, I got saved and entirely free from my past and witchcraft practices.
The strange part was that the more I loved God the more he was departing from faith. He was very jealous and abusive towards me. With time the violence grew and life became hard to bare. The abuse was in all shape and form: physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual etc. I used to pray for him and fast every Friday for him to change or for me to have more faith and strength to cope. Things went only from bad to worst. After 5 years of marriage I decided to separate from him for 6 months. I thought it will give him time to think and put things right.
He said everything will be better, he used many Bible verses to convince me, to show how good he is etc. I decided to give us another chance because of the children and I still loved him.
After that the abuse increased and it was worst then ever. He started sleeping around and always justified that it is my fault. I felt rejected, guilty and failure.
I kept forgiving him on daily basis, otherwise I would go crazy. I begged him and on many occasions got church people involved but without any changes for better.
The last straw on the camels back was that I found out he was sexually abusing one of our children. I had a nervous break down and run away with kids and started new life.
It took me 5 years to put my life back on truck and keep the faith.
At the moment I feel I am ready for a relationship but I found it impossible to do. I feel like I am cursed or something. I am a woman of one man. When I originally got married it was in believe that it will be 'until death us apart'.
I missed the part when husband loves and cherish his wife, provides and protect his family.
I still have that desire to marry and have a chance for normal, Godly life.
Be divorced is worst than be a widow. No Christian man wants to get involved with a person like me and all non-Christians have only one agenda on mind! What Jesus thinks of me?


I don't know if you are still following this topic, but I have some news for you. Jesus thinks that you are so precious, you are worth dying for. He's coming back for you, if you will be His bride - part of the body of Christ. From what you have written here, I would say that you have already found the perfect Husband- both man and God - Jesus Christ! he will never leave you, nor forsake you, and nothing can separate you from His love. Nothing!

Be blessed, and know that you are highly favoured and powerfully loved by the King of kings! In Jesus' mighty Name!!!


Good words of encouragement. :)

#33
alittleoneforChrist

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That scripture "the Lord gave you" was meant for OT levites. If you think this was from God, you are wrong.

There is nothing wrong with dating a divorced person who is divorced form scriptural reasons. The Holy Ghost also will help you here and lead you.

There are scriptural reasons for divorce and there is remarriage allowed in the bible. The Jews were allowed to divorce for adultery, abandonment, and neglect.

God is a merciful God.

Make sure the divorced person is healed, walking with Christ, and not in a position where reconciliation is possible. Then follow the leading of the Spirit and date as He leads only.

God loves the divorced. God divorced Israel.

#34
BrandonAG

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I am divorced now going on 8 years.
Remaining celebate... before the Lord...until I marry again.

My ex was the one that cheated behind my back during our marriage. He left me for her and he married her.

I am a one man woman and am faithful and loyal in courtship and in marriage.

Just because I am single and divorced doesn't stop me from dating a guy or stop me from having a relationship with God.
As long as I don't fornicate and remain faithful to God.

I am praying to meet the right one that God has for me ....for I hate single life.


Obviously many people end up divorced through no fault of their own.
They shouldn't be punished and in that case it would not be wrong to date such a person.

#35
GoldenEagle

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I am divorced now going on 8 years.
Remaining celebate... before the Lord...until I marry again.

My ex was the one that cheated behind my back during our marriage. He left me for her and he married her.

I am a one man woman and am faithful and loyal in courtship and in marriage.

Just because I am single and divorced doesn't stop me from dating a guy or stop me from having a relationship with God.
As long as I don't fornicate and remain faithful to God.

I am praying to meet the right one that God has for me ....for I hate single life.


Obviously many people end up divorced through no fault of their own.
They shouldn't be punished and in that case it would not be wrong to date such a person.


Amen. :thumbsup:

#36
bopeep1909

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Question: "What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?"

Answer:
First of all, no matter what view one takes on the issue of divorce, it is important to remember Malachi 2:16: “I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.” According to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). God realizes, though, that since marriages involve two sinful human beings, divorces are going to occur. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees, especially women (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because they were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8).

The controversy over whether divorce and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in Scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters understand this “exception clause” as referring to “marital unfaithfulness” during the “betrothal” period. In Jewish custom, a man and a woman were considered married even while they were still engaged or “betrothed.” According to this view, immorality during this “betrothal” period would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.

However, the Greek word translated “marital unfaithfulness” is a word which can mean any form of sexual immorality. It can mean fornication, prostitution, adultery, etc. Jesus is possibly saying that divorce is permissible if sexual immorality is committed. Sexual relations are an integral part of the marital bond: “the two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Therefore, any breaking of that bond by sexual relations outside of marriage might be a permissible reason for divorce. If so, Jesus also has remarriage in mind in this passage. The phrase “and marries another” (Matthew 19:9) indicates that divorce and remarriage are allowed in an instance of the exception clause, whatever it is interpreted to be. It is important to note that only the innocent party is allowed to remarry. Although it is not stated in the text, the allowance for remarriage after a divorce is God’s mercy for the one who was sinned against, not for the one who committed the sexual immorality. There may be instances where the “guilty party” is allowed to remarry, but it is not taught in this text.

Some understand 1 Corinthians 7:15 as another “exception,” allowing remarriage if an unbelieving spouse divorces a believer. However, the context does not mention remarriage, but only says a believer is not bound to continue a marriage if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave. Others claim that abuse (spousal or child) is a valid reason for divorce even though it is not listed as such in the Bible. While this may very well be the case, it is never wise to presume upon the Word of God.

Sometimes lost in the debate over the exception clause is the fact that whatever “marital unfaithfulness” means, it is an allowance for divorce, not a requirement for it. Even when adultery is committed, a couple can, through God’s grace, learn to forgive and begin rebuilding their marriage. God has forgiven us of so much more. Surely we can follow His example and even forgive the sin of adultery (Ephesians 4:32). However, in many instances, a spouse is unrepentant and continues in sexual immorality. That is where Matthew 19:9 can possibly be applied. Many also look to quickly remarry after a divorce when God might desire them to remain single. God sometimes calls people to be single so that their attention is not divided (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Remarriage after a divorce may be an option in some circumstances, but that does not mean it is the only option.

It is distressing that the divorce rate among professing Christians is nearly as high as that of the unbelieving world. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer’s life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorce will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God, even if the divorce and/or remarriage is not covered under the possible exception clause of Matthew 19:9. God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good.


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