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my prayer

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You pre-destined choose me, and called me.
In my these years’ earthly life, you showed me various pictures of the world, the societies and the human beings. you made me born and raised and living in a pagan nation, the nation which did and does not know you ,and rejected you ,and the mainstream of it is still rejecting you ,neglecting you, lots of them even laughing at you.they worship the idols be made by the human hands and call them gods,and times and times again,the followers of JESUS are call the slaver of west.

You make me see and have deep understanding the evil ,terrible, unstable, peaceless tough, corruption, deceiving of the nation, so once I got your call, I have never dare to away from you, even suffered trials, pain, persecutions, I cried out to you, and tried my best to hold you fast. i am not clever, not good,either, I seek you ,try to understand you, to have the relationship with you---with all my heart,soul,mind,I have clear mind that I do need the salvation, I meditate upon you day and night.i yielded to you, surrender all myself to you. with mass knowledge about the pagan nation, with deep tasting of my own life, I cry out for the faithfullness ,the justice,the fairness ,the mercy, the law, all these ,I can not find in the pagan world, so I cry out to you, the only one true GOD ,the thorough ruler of the universe

I pray for your mercy, justice, trustworthy, and kind ,love, GOD, open your eyes, LORD, open your eyes to see all what had happen, are you still the GOD of Noah’s age?are you still the GOD who judged Sodom?are you still the GOD in OT and NT?……GOD,I raised and living in the pagan world,I know all the evil ,the corruption, if it is really you created this world but keep silence to all these and do nothing, where is your glory? how can we praise you as a justice GOD? without your faithfulness, justice, fair, how dark the world is!

GOD,you know my hot heart toward you ,the hot heart not only based on faith, but also deep understanding what kind life the people living who do not know you, deny you ,reject you, the hot heart based on the grace from you I tasting,9+ years ago you began to revel yourself to me ,and 5 years ago I began trying to share the gospel with the others, with sincerely trusting you as the love, justice, faithful GOD,I shared the goodness, trying to introduce JESUS to the people who totally know nothing about the Savior ,but in these 4 years ,I was totally in failure, no one, even none ,accept JESUS via me, and after failure after failure ,I ceased the preaching and humble myself to learn from the others ,to lean how the senior fellows in Christ, the professional pastor, but so amazing to me, I found they are in the same situation just as me-----I specialized this situation in the ministry of Chinese website .we ,who try to sharing the gospel in this pagan world, we sow lots ,but reap litlle, and we ourselves, are always been buried in the endless argument, quarrel with the atheist, Buddhist, Muslem………and even ourselves always do not agree with each other, the arguments between us are much more violent than with the nonbeliever………..at the end ,I finally totally realized that the spread of the Christianity,the GOD conquered the gods in Europe,in middle east,in American…… is really the miracle, from the 12 disciples+Paul to the biggest religion, from the mustard seed to the biggest tree, it is do the power of GOD ,not the capability of mortal………and finally I totally gave up myself and denied myself, and thoroughly know it is via your almighty ,the power of holy spirit, not any human capability, not any human knowledge ,wisdom ,to fulfill your plan ,you purpose.

GOD, you know every smallest detail of my life,you search the deepest thought of my mind, maybe you know me even much more than myself, I do not know how to pray and what to pary,I just and only want to say I am seeking a justice, trustworthy, fair, and loveing FATHER.
You made me pass through the most terrible test to lie or not to lie, you said the believer should become more and more Christ like, and the moral I hold most fast is not to lie, bcs I hate Satan who is the father of all liars, and I know how the nation will be which founded on the lie, I live in the nation, so I cry out to the faithful GOD who will never tell the lie, and I eagerly pray your kingdom is founded on the totally faithfulness ,not any lie in it, you said ”even you are faithless, I am still faithful” and I said:if you ,GOD commend me to tell the lie ,I will leave you, bcs I hate the lie,and if there is lie in your kingdom ,I will reject to enter, so I pray for your faithfulness this is the utmost reason I surrender to you. thks for my deep knowledge about pagan world ,I have the clear mind why I pursue you, I pursue you on rational mind, not blind faith. and it is you ,equip me with these knowledge and understanding.
Pray in JESUS' name, amen.
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Miss Silvia...You are not alone...There have been many that have gone before you in the faith...I remember a testimony of one man...imprisoned...and released just as Paul...when the prison doors opened...miraculously...I have heard your heart...lately...and am praying...for you...I can understand being in the place where nothing is working...The words of my mouth have no Power...I have been in that place...I have also been in the place where I opened my mouth and the words were met with uncontrollable weeping...All I know is this: This New Life Is A Process...and only met by God...It is He Who Does The Works Through a Willing Vessel...He Will Mature Us In Him...If We Don't Give Up...I have walked in the place of laying hands on the sick and they have recovered...

There are so many questions...some have answers...some do not have answers...yet...but will have answers when we get to see Him face to face...

The easiest explanation of why such a pagan nation...when Adam and Eve sinned in The Garden...that disobiedience separated us from God...(All mankind) God will not enter in unless asked...Into a sinful heart...it will stay a sinful heart until the person asks God to save them...then the separation from Him is gone and a relationship can begin...the problem is...the enemy has blinded the eyes and the sinful person's are blind to the fact that they are sinful...They can't see it and don't know it...That's why all the trouble...and besides all that...God doesn't give us all the same revelations at the same time...so there are Christians that didn't know this-or that-before-or haven't been allowed by God to see that yet...so hence you have all the arguments...it's amazing to me too...

I have full confidence that God has you in the Palm of His hand...and is with you and will never leave you...and Prayer is just Talking to God...just like I'm talking with you now...It was only later that I could take His Word and pray it back to Him...The Bible says...His word will go forth to where it has been sent and won't return void...so I had to know more of His Word and I had to ask Him to Help me Pray His Word...

I don't know if any of what I'm saying is making any sense to you or if it is what you may need...But in this I am confident...He Will Make A Way Where There Is No Way...I remember Corrie Ten Boon's testimony...I may not have all the details correct and I apologize in advance but this is the way I remember it was told...She had to go through a checkpoint or something and hid a little bitty Bible under her clothes and prayed that God would hide it...He did...They didn't find it at all!!! And they searched her!!! Oh my...She was Mighty for God!!!

There has been something else that has been on my mind lately too...It does seem to me that sometimes God is silent...possibly in whole cities...It seems my city is going through this right now...so it seems I need to continue praying what I've prayed for so long...O Father...Indwell Your Children Mightily For Your Glory...Whew...In The Mighty Name of Jesus...

I pray Father Also...For Your Peace...for Miss Silvia...That She Walk In Your Peace...Lead and Guide, I Pray...Empowering Her For Your Glory...Send Your Comforter...That Will Remind Her of Everything You Have Said...Camp Your Angels Round About Protecting Her...As She Abides Under The Shadow of Your Wings...Fill her Lord...With Yourself...That She May Know You and The Christ Whom You Sent...We have been given a sound mind...with no fear...and can only walk empowered by God to do His Bidding...So we walk in Faith...not seeing but believing...

Miss Silvia...I'll continue to pray for you...In The Name Above Every Name...His Name is Jesus...Our Savior, Lord and KIng...
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