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Non-Christian Girlfriend

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10 replies to this topic

#1
justaguy04

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Hey everyone. I'm a 19 year old guy and I am dating a non-christian girl. We've only been going out for a month, but the problem is that we've slept together. The first time we did it, I wasn't as close to the Lord as I should have been; I had strayed a bit. I am happy with her, she is a great girl and we love each other's company. The only problem is, we still sleep together and I feel alright. Obviously it feels good, but I know it is sinning and I regret that I am doing this. The thing is, I don't know how to tell her I want to stop without jeopardising the relationship. I know what the bible says about being with a non-Christian and how that is wrong. She is okay with my Christianity, but told me she will never believe. This is kind of upsetting, and I know prayer would help, but it seems like a lost cause. In my opinion, and from what I've read in other forums, everything points to me ending it. I just do really like her and it would be so hard on both of us. I spent a lot of time and effort trying to be with her in the first place and she knows that, which is why it would hurt her a lot if I were to finish this. I just want to know if there is anything I could do to make it work. Thanks a lot if you read this and get back to me, I really appreciate it.

-justaguy04

#2
redroses42

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there will come times in your relationship that you will clash if you go her way it could affect your walk with the Lord and you will be very unhappy
if you chose the Lord it could split you as she would want you to go her way
think hard and ask yourself is it worth the price....remember its your soul we are talking about here

#3
justaguy04

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Thanks. You are right, it is my path that is being hindered in not doing this right...there has already been a bit of a clash with our beliefs, and no doubt it will come up again...it's hard, and i know what i need to do as the right thing, just the matter of actually doing it is difficult.

#4
FresnoJoe

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Welcome~!

~

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 5:5-6

Praying~!

#5
NeedYouLord

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Hi...Justaguy04...Welcome so much!!!

I couldn't even write to you unless I knew exactly what you are going through...I've been there...done that...got a T-shirt...now I've outgrown the T-shirt...and it's all ragged...and during the whole mess of it all...God changed me...Wow...The Bible is true every Word...I've been in that place where "Sin is so good-for a season"...don't forget "For a Season"...that's the important part...

Just know that there are 2 plans for your life...God has the best one...period...The one where we live it: His Way...The Right Way and in The Right Order...and we are not yoked with an unbeliever...That's the other most important part...See after a while...the season changes!!! Oh Yes It Does...It's better if God does His job on the person before we marry them...

I know you went after her...Now it looks like God is drawing you!!! Just answer the call...you won't be sorry...

#6
worshiper70

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My view is this, you said you know it is wrong. the Bible says, (paraphrased) to him who knows to do right and does not do it, to him it is sin! So you really have to choose if you are going to obey? God has the best, but you can not have both what your flesh wants and what God wants. It is not easy, but worth it! I have a very strict policy now, NO dating non believers. You will only invest more and more in a loosing situation. You already know what you need to do, now you just need your brothers and sisters in Christ to keep you in prayers and encouragement! Jesus feels all you go through. He loves you and will take you go the next level once you go past these things. Blessings and I'm a friend if you need one.
Ps you will be the best example of Christ by doing the Christlike thing. Somewhere in time, this may lead her to Gid. But if not, you showed her God.

#7
coffeespiller87

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Justaguy, Its nice to meet you. Please don't compromise your relationship with the Lord for a girl. I know that it is hard to end a relationship that you invested a lot of yourself in and where she invested a lot of herself as well. I don't think it is a lost cause for you to pray for her with God nothing is impossible and He can change her heart I do believe that even if she says she will never believe dont be discouraged by that. However as much as you really like her I think your hurting yourself spiritually and removing yourself from God's blessing by being with a nonbeliever. Sleeping with someone makes it even harder to end a relationship and it can emotionally hurt even worse when splitting up when your connected that way to another person. You have to think about whether God is most important to you and what you chose. You can't have it both ways. Just because something feels good doesnt make it so and it hurt when I had close friends telling me that. Doing something that feels good is the wordly way. Ask yourself is God or this girl most important to you?

I know this is a hard choice to make but I encourage you to pray and do a lot of thinking. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

I think God is convicting you because the fact that you are thinking this and asking is a good sign He is.

#8
GoldenEagle

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Hey everyone. I'm a 19 year old guy and I am dating a non-christian girl. We've only been going out for a month, but the problem is that we've slept together. The first time we did it, I wasn't as close to the Lord as I should have been; I had strayed a bit. I am happy with her, she is a great girl and we love each other's company. The only problem is, we still sleep together and I feel alright. Obviously it feels good, but I know it is sinning and I regret that I am doing this. The thing is, I don't know how to tell her I want to stop without jeopardising the relationship. I know what the bible says about being with a non-Christian and how that is wrong. She is okay with my Christianity, but told me she will never believe. This is kind of upsetting, and I know prayer would help, but it seems like a lost cause. In my opinion, and from what I've read in other forums, everything points to me ending it. I just do really like her and it would be so hard on both of us. I spent a lot of time and effort trying to be with her in the first place and she knows that, which is why it would hurt her a lot if I were to finish this. I just want to know if there is anything I could do to make it work. Thanks a lot if you read this and get back to me, I really appreciate it.

-justaguy04


First welcome to Worthy Justaguy. :thumbsup:

I know this is a hard choice to make but I encourage you to pray and do a lot of thinking. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

I think God is convicting you because the fact that you are thinking this and asking is a good sign He is.


Second I agree with Coffee and others. What you don't want to happen is let this continue to the point where the relationship leads to marriage. Children raised in a home where one spouse is a Christian and the other is not a Christ-follower is very difficult.

Some thoughts to consider for sure.

God bless,
GE

#9
franciskelsey

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I agree with all of the above post. Satan will use your effort you put into getting this relationship going as a guilt trip on you. If complete ending it is too much at one time, try this. Tell her you can no longer sleep with her OR put yourself in temptations way or room. Tell her clearly, after confessing to God and praying for help, that the actions in which you were doing was sinful and that from here on out you want to follow God Almighty. I believe there is a great chance if you follow through with this, not only will you be at peace with your maker, she probably will not want to continue the relationship and she will break it off herself in which you certainly would have no reason to feel guilty then. It seems the closer we draw to God, the further away disobedient hearts seem to stroll. Pray, however, for the both of you, because with God there is always hope.

I have been near where you have been as well, and Satan loves to play the guilty and blame game on our shoulders here. God however, just reaches out and waits, and when you come, He says, "Son, your sins are forgiven, now go, and sin no more". Easy to type, not so easy to do, but as others have said, one leads to eternal bliss, the other, well, you know. It does not mean God will spit you out per say, but you will have a very very hard life and very much regret your decision I promise. God gives us morals for a reason, because He loves us and He hates it when we hurt. Lessons are always easier to learn from others than the hard way, but it seems often we can only learn the hard way through much suffering indeed.

I will be praying. God bless

#10
bornagain2011

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Justaguy04,

I am glad I ran across your post, welcome to worthy!
I am a 28 year old female and I was just in the same situation as your girlfriend is in about 2 years ago! He grew up a christian, very strong in his faith, but I guess it was not as strong when we started hanging out because I was able to seduce him. See, I was an unbeliever at the time, actually I was a seeker and into the new age stuff. I would debate him and mock his christian beliefs. We continued to be intimate, but he refused to move in with me because it was against his beliefs. I didn't get it. After some time God opened my eyes to the Truth of the gospel and I was finally willing to seek God out. After becoming a Christian I started to feel convicted about being intimate with him, he admitted he was feeling the same way as well, so we had to put a stop to it. Yes we stumble every once in a while, but we have to rely on God's strength to get us through. I am happy to say that we are now engaged :) .

So what I am trying to say is that sometimes it DOES work out, but my boyfriend could tell that I was searching and he knew I would find my way to the Truth. But I have to be honost now and say that sometimes I feel a little dissapointed that he even allowed us to be intimate before, I wish he would have stayed strong in his beliefs and also would have witnessed to me more. It is almost like he got caught up in the world and in the lust.

You don't want to be unequally yoked with someone, if I were you I would lay down the boundaries and try and witness to her, like show her the historical proofs of Jesus, like the writings of Flavius Josephus. Honostly that is what I had to do to find Jesus, had to seek Him out....I thought he was a fictional character, or a moral teacher!

Wish I could help you more, but I hope that by showing you what it was like from a female perspective in almost the same situation you can kind of see where to go from here. Stay strong in your faith, don't waver, set up boundaries that you don't cross. A great book to read would be Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

God bless!

Natalie

#11
Willamina

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The Bible tells us that there will not be any fornicators in Heaven. That mean that no one who continues sinning by having sex
outside of marriage will make it to heaven. But people who repent and really ask God to help them stop, are forgiven and God will
cleanse them from all unrighteousness.
So you really don't have any choice.
I am being blunt because this is a really serious offence that can ruin both your lives.
My tean-aged grandson was advised by his youth leader not to date girls in his youth group because of the hurt that breaking up
causes. It goes without saying that dating someone who is not a Christian often leads to the mess you are in. But now he has 6
girls from school and 6 from church that continually call him. Talk about temptation.
It is better to hanng out with a group until you make enough money to support a wife and children.




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