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marriage trouble


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I highly recommend that you seek marriage counseling. If you both work on repairing the marriage, it can be saved. I have an interracial marriage too and our shared love of the Lord helps us. We have learned to accept the cultural differences and work past our difficulties.

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I am almost a year into almost losing my marriage of now, 9 years. Its been nothing short of a miracle that we are still together. The problems ran deep, and no ones story is the same. What saved us is a lot of prayer and counselling together and separately We have been learning how to both communicate our feelings and how to hear what the other person is saying. Its been a long hard process and there is no such thing as an over night fix. It has helped be a lot personally reading the books. "If only He Knew" By Gary Smally, and "Love and War" by John and Staci Eldrige.

The biggest trick was, to stop focusing on what the other person needs work on, but to work on yourself. I spent years thinking that my marriage problems were all my wife's fault, and after almost losing her I come to find that it was almost all my fault, and my pride and stubbornness, I felt that I was a good husband and my wife had all the issues. When I realised otherwise and finally humbled myself before both her and more importantly the Lord things started to change!

And now after 9 years of marriage and being unable to conceive we have finally gotten pregnant!

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ok, so i have this friend whose husband is driving her up the wall. he is so stubborn in everything and never considers her in decision or considers her feelings. he is a very detatched, emotionless person, i have seen this for myself; and doesn't respond to her, period. needlesss to say, she feels totally alone in their relationship. not a good example for their two very young children. they've been married for three years. the guy says he's a christian, but as far as i can tell he's just outward for show to others. my friend is at the end of herself, she feels like she can't even pray about him anymore, or even love him. she says: how can you love someone who will never ever love you back?

any thoughts/advice as well as prayer is appreciated. i really know what to say to her anymore, but my heart so goes out to her.

Does he truly love her?She needs to pray for her husband all the time.If things ever get out of hand and he becomes abusive then separation might be in the plan especially when their are children involved.Yes,he is not setting a good example to the children of what a Christian loving marriage is.I know children who have come out of a abusive relationship and it is not pretty.They are still recovering after many,many years.And the children might get into unhealthy relationships when they get older.

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Ok, sorry I haven't replied in a while. Lots happening. Again, things seem to be on the improve. Total miracle, I really don't know how, but God is doing it.

If I seem one-sided, it may be because I've known my friend for longer, I know what her personality's like, and I've also seen her husband in 'action'. She's not perfect, but she wouldn't care or have stuck it out this long with the kids if she didn't actually love him. And she does, I just know.

Chetty and Flamingo Fandango: pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. I know God is working on behalf of my friend and her husband. Your situations actually sound more like abuse (verbal/emotional). But there's nothing that our God can't handle. Just remember: vengeance is Mine, sayeth the Lord. And his revenge is so much worse than ours, so just continue to bless and pray. God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. My friend was just thinking about this scripture today. Sounded good when she said it.

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Why did she marry him? Surely they got to know each other first?

So often I have seen this. A woman will be attracted to a man for the very reason that DRIVES HER NUTS A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD.

"He is SO good with money!" a few years down the road becomes: "He's so cheap I can't stand it!"

Or a woman marries a man hoping to change him, AND MEN DON'T CHANGE!!!!

My advice would be 'stay prayed up and pray with him as often as possible.'

It is so hard to explain. The very things o loved about my husband for years have now changed to almost hate. We were friends for years and I had such a crush on him. He worked hard and had a giving heart. Now he is not trying as head to find a job and his attentive giving nature is towards every one but me. He was using drugs last year and we had to separate now that we are back together it is like two room mates. I just want a little dealing if being loved back!

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praying

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ok, so i have this friend whose husband is driving her up the wall. he is so stubborn in everything and never considers her in decision or considers her feelings. he is a very detatched, emotionless person, i have seen this for myself; and doesn't respond to her, period. needlesss to say, she feels totally alone in their relationship. not a good example for their two very young children. they've been married for three years. the guy says he's a christian, but as far as i can tell he's just outward for show to others. my friend is at the end of herself, she feels like she can't even pray about him anymore, or even love him. she says: how can you love someone who will never ever love you back?

any thoughts/advice as well as prayer is appreciated. i really know what to say to her anymore, but my heart so goes out to her.

Php 4:13

13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

NKJV

1 Co 7:14-16

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving

wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean,

but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother

or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how

do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

NKJV

Love, Steven

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Hello to everyone,

I can't find the actual thread for my post from a couple of days ago. Thank you to all who are praying and who gave advice. I really can't say what will happen next with us. My husband is not really open to counseling. Locked himself in the bedroom and wouldn't come out....again. We aren't in church right now b/c I just don't have the heart for putting my church face on.

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:th_praying: I will pray for God to intervene in your marriage.
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Thanks to everyone who's being praying. God is so faithful. From what I can tell the husband is really trying his best. My friend is much happier. He's still got a long way to go, but he's really focused on their relationship now it seems.

Blessings :)

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Thanks to everyone who's being praying. God is so faithful. From what I can tell the husband is really trying his best. My friend is much happier. He's still got a long way to go, but he's really focused on their relationship now it seems.

Blessings :)

Praise God for His tender.. oh so tender mercies!!!
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