Jump to content

christian forums

Worthy Christian Forums - Christian Forums

Welcome to Worthy Christian Forums
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

Hatred......


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
17 replies to this topic

#1
Elaine47

Elaine47
  • Members
  • 36 posts
I really could do with some advice concerning this matter.........it is eating me up inside.

Nearly five years ago we had new neighbours move in upstairs, so this has been gnawing away at me about a month after they moved in. They have put me through so much with their noise, noise and yet more noise. I could go on and on but it would take too long.

Now I am left with nothing but sheer hatred for them. I cannot stand the sight, sound or even thinking about them. I am consumed with hatred. I have never felt this way towards anybody ever the way I feel towards these people. I have tried so hard to just put them out of my mind but as soon as I hear or see them all those feelings come flooding back. I have tried giving it to God but yet I still feel the hatred towards them.

Surely being a Christian I am not supposed to have these feelings, I am supposed to love people but how can I love them, I can't. Ive tried to forgive but I can't. I know now that it is affecting my walk with God because of these hateful feelings.

Because Jesus tells us to love one another what if He says that He never knew me, for being this way. What if He shuns me. I am just finding it so hard because I know it isnt a Christian way too react but it is so so difficult.

Thankyou for reading this and any help would be much appreciated

Elaine

#2
Parker1

Parker1

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,046 posts
Every time you feel these emotions and experience these thoughts, stop, pray to the Lord that He remove these things from your heart and mind. Every time. Even if you have to be in continuous prayer and eventually you will overcome. These thoughts and feelings are an attack by Satan to keep you out of fellowship with the Father and take away any blessings that you will receive from Him as His child. James 4:5-8 says "..... do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”? But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." (NKJV)

Edited by Parker1, 16 January 2013 - 03:32 PM.


#3
NeedYouLord

NeedYouLord

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,258 posts
Oh Father...Thank You For Creating and Loving Us When We Were Unlovable...I'm speaking for myself and praying God's Word Above For You, Elaine!!! I just know it...You Will Dwell In A Peaceful Habitation, In Secure Dwellings and In Quiet Resting Places...In The Name of Jesus...

(I have been going through some of the same things but without the neighbors...Thank you, Elaine because truly I needed this scripture at this time...Thank you, Brother Mike so much!!!)

Also Elaine, I'm praying this verse for both of us and anybody else that needs it: Psalm 27:13-14...I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living, (14) Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

My my...Just what I needed today!!!

Loving you In Him, Kathy

#4
2Joyful

2Joyful

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,667 posts
When you speak...upstairs...does that mean you are in an apartment? If so you have rights and should use them. I once lived upstairs in an apartment...simply because I was informed of the trouble that may arise having people live above me. All went well until the young lady allowed her boyfriend who loved loud music to move in. Sometimes at night I felt as if my bed was moving. After a few weeks of prayer and fasting...mostly for myself because I wanted to approach them in the right spirit...I ventured down to have a talk with the two of them. I guess me being older they respected my request...then it could have been the freshly baked cookies. Seriously I give all glory to God. It also allowed me to witness to them..a few weeks later he moved out. Have you tried sharing what the noise is doing to you with them? I know it's been 5 years, but it a start and may become a sign to them how patient you have been. May the Lord bring you speedily relief concerning this pressing matter. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

#5
chloe_fantastic

chloe_fantastic

    Senior Member

  • Worthy Watchman
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,246 posts
All great suggestions, the only thing I can add is...praying for God's will for you, Elaine.

#6
enoob57

enoob57

    Royal Member

  • Soapbox - Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,066 posts
I remodeled walmarts for good many years and know what your going through! Always stay on the top floor...Prayed.... Love, Steven

#7
Elaine47

Elaine47
  • Members
  • 36 posts
Thankyou so much for all of your replies, it is very kind of you

@ Parker1............This is what I thought as well that could it possibly be an attack from satan because I cannot remember ever having such strong feelings about anybody else that I have
known before. I really do hate the sight, sound even the very presence of them anywhere near me. It also made me wonder if because I feel this way that could it be
satan is taking advantage of the situation by bringing out the bad side of me. I know that is what I am going to have to do, ask God to stay close by me because the
feelings are constant. The only time I feel a bit of a reprieve is when they are out only to feel drawn backwards again when they return home. Oh why can't they just
move away.


@Brother Mike.....Thankyou so much Brother Mike for those words, they have helped me. So unless I am going to operate in love I cannot really expect God to do anything about this.
How good it is to read that your friend got the peace that he wanted in the end. I will admit though that it is going to be very hard to pray for this lot but I have to do it.
Could I ask one more question please, what if when I am praying for them I don't feel like I mean it inside my heart? What if my words are just lip service and I still feel
the hatred deep down? This is very deep rooted now. Thankyou again

@NeedYouLord...What lovely words Kathy, thankyou for that and thankyou also for your prayers. I am glad that you got some help from my post

@2Joyful..............Yes they live upstairs and I live below them. We have lived in this property since 1985 and them for 5 years. We have been through the procedures of mediation with
local authority and having to keep regular logs of noise abuse. I don't want them as friends to be honest with you, I just want them to be respecful in their actions. I
loved the bit about your cookies though

@chloe_
fantastic...........Thankyou chloe for your prayers, very much appreciated

@enoob57...........I think you are right there Steven, roll on nicer neighbours please

#8
*Zion*

*Zion*

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,850 posts
Hi there:
I'm sure that the enemy has used this situation to sow the seed of hatred into your heart. However, you are fighting back! Good!!!
How have they reacted when you've confronted them face to face? It might give you as to the next step to take spiritually/physically as you deal with it all.
Our weapons are not carnal for a reason:
2 Corinthians 10:4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds.
Those strongholds are spiritual. Do the work in prayer and you'll see the difference in the physical. Maybe not straight away, but the effects will be far more lasting than anything we can do in our own strength.
Hope this helps, let us know how things go!
God bless you :)

#9
Elaine47

Elaine47
  • Members
  • 36 posts
Hello Zion and thankyou for replying.
When we do pass each other which unfortunately is hard to avoid living in flats we both ignore each other. On one occasion when he spat outside our door twice I did lose my temper completely, I was raging.
It is the only thing that I can do now and that is to give it to God because I cannot do this alone anymore.
I will keep you informed on how things are going as well
Elaine

#10
*Zion*

*Zion*

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,850 posts
I pray that God gives you a good testimony out of it :)

Edited by *Zion*, 20 February 2013 - 02:21 PM.


#11
GoldenEagle

GoldenEagle

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,215 posts
Hey Elaine,

Sorry this has been such a difficult situation. I lived with a roomate for two years who was a family friend. By the end of our time together we were no longer friends. It seems like sometimes people you are around a lot learn what you don't like and some even want to make our lives difficult. It is really hard too to love the ulovable. Best thing I did was move out and get a different place. My old roomate and I are friends again. :)

Praying for God's wisdom and strength for you.

Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Matthew 11:28
Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.


Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


1 John 4:4
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.


God bless you!

In Christ,
GE

#12
revolutionist90

revolutionist90

    Advanced Member

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 490 posts
Of course I would agree that you pray and read the Bible to stop the hatred from brewing. Hatred hardens the heart and injures the soul. I will also say that maybe you should either ask the two upstairs to keep it down especially at night and if they refuse you could call the landlord who usually will give them a letter. The problem with asking is that you have to have peace within your heart before talking to them to keep your anger from showing because that will make things worse. They might not even know they are bothering you so it might not be purposeful and your anger would be for people who mean no harm. Sure we would like to think that common sense would tell people to not be loud but common sense is not that common.

#13
OneLight

OneLight

    Royal Member

  • Servant
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 25,651 posts
Elaine, I am not sure if this is continuing today, but unless it was addresses, I would guess it still is.

We have been advised in Ephesians 4:26-27 the following: "“Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." Have you tried discussing this with them? Five years you have ignored approaching them, if you have not. Perhaps, try informing them of the noise problem, and if that does not solve the problem, try speaking to your landlord. Some good conflict resolution techniques would help resolve this.

#14
Rustyangel

Rustyangel

    Royal Member

  • Worthy Chat Servant
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,302 posts
Just because your a Christian does not mean your immune to human feelings. God tells us to love our enemies and forgive them. It's not easy and it can be a long process. Don't eat yourself up with guilt but every time you get these feelings invite God to sit with you and give Him all the anger and allow Him to begin the healing process. They have no idea how you feel about them and even if they did they could care less. Forgiveness is not so much for them but for yourself. Forgiving someone always come from the truth which is Jesus and the truth will always set you free. God Bless you. :heart:

#15
RedMomma

RedMomma

    Advanced Member

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 267 posts
Whew mercy elaine!! I sure know that dilema there. I found I got sick by not confronting see you can confront in love however Id pray on the Lord to give you the words to say to them. Its not going to go away with you being silent dearie,like onelight stated the scripture does say not to let the sun go down on your anger it took me a long time to understand that very scripture Id say but Lord im not the one doing the offense and then i realized I actually was by holding onto something and i needed to let it go im glad youre trying to owe up to it thats a start there id even write them a note along with plate of cookies telling them youd appreciate it if they could try keeping the noise down who knows they might not realize theyre that loud ya know? ill be praying for you as well ok Gbu

#16
Tazcontrol

Tazcontrol
  • Members
  • 88 posts
I don't lIke the word hate. And I surely don't like feeling it. When somebody makes me angry to the point of hate, I have to have some quiet time to process my thoughts and think what would Jesus do? Not only do we have to think about the consequences of what might happen if we retaliate, We have to do what is right in God's eyes. I've always been told to kill them with kindness. :) We have a flame that burns for the Lord. When we allow people like that to get to us it weakens our flame. We have to be stronger. Love is stronger then hate. Sometimes it's hard to love somebody who is driving you nuts. Trust me I know ask my parents :)

#17
Hall7

Hall7

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,364 posts
May I ask what kind of noise they make?

#18
desi2007

desi2007

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,840 posts

I know this post is a bit late, I hope things are better for you now? i think the best thing to do is move away for sure. Some people that are neighbors just do not care about others around them, which makes it a unpleasant experience for sure. They sow seeds of rudeness and will only reap what they sow.






Worthy Christian Forums - Christian Message Boards - 1999-2014 part of the Worthy Network