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Posted 25 January 2013 - 03:04 AM
An aquaintance introduced me to a man when I was about 18 or 19. I fell head over heels in love with him; even tho he wasn't in any kind of church at all. He had been raised Baptist; or so he said. He proposed and I accepted. He was driving a semi, cross country at the time. He was from the same area in AR that my dad grew up in-- he knew some of my relatives. Several people that I knew tried to convince me not to marry him: they said they didn't trust him. Well, in my innocent defense.. I felt like they had no right to judge him when they didn't know him!
My wedding was set for July.. he came to town and for various reasons he had to leave a couple of days before the wedding. The day dawned beautiful... but the hours went by and there was no groom .After many tears, I fianlly called the church 2 hours before the wedding and cancelled it .I found out later my pastors wife had moved my gown to a different room and she broke down and started crying when she touched it. That family was up all night that night praying for me. But, I didn't know that then.
My fiance called and made his excuses...he had gotten to town later than he planned. He saw no reason we couldn't still be married that night.... Well, I believed him yet again. I postponed the wedding until October though.We got married at my parent's house.I felt like God had personally blessed me with the "perfect" guy. Well, we moved to Boise, Idaho the next September. All this time, he had been trucking and mostly, I stayed at my parents house except for a month I rode with him. I was pregnant with our son when we moved to Idaho. He agreed to give trucking up so we could be a family.. he did it for me... or so I thought.
He never really physically abused me at all. He was charming, fun to be around. But, by October, I knew there was alot he wasn't telling me. I couldn't be that naive. He left in November for a "business" trip. He had started his own business.. and because I am a Christian, I won't get too graphic. I simply found out he made a profit on women and leave it at that.
I also found out while he was gone: his stepfather told me that he had married me under his brother's name, he also had a wife and son about 4 hours from where we were living; in Salt Lake City. Suffice it to say, I took the next plane home. I knew, no matter what, I couldn't raise my son in that environment. No matter how much I was "in love": I could not do that to an innocent child.
The man broke my heart and for a long time; broke my spirit. Too many years, and too many tears, were spent over "what ifs". I raised our son alone, with my folk's helping. I couldn't trust anyone, even tho I depended on God to see me thru (and He did !)
I never felt like I would ever be happy.That I didn't even deserve to be.There wasn't much said from the church family about my divorce (I found out my pastor basically told them they better not !! lol) But, I felt that things were different in how I was treated. I wasn't asked to teach anymore... or do too much at all.
My ex never had anything to do with us after I left him. Thankfully, my little boy never blamed me once for not having a daddy. The first few years of my son's life, I was literally in so much emotional pain, I could barely concentrate. My son was my salvation. I felt like such a failure in every other area of my life.Time made it a little better; but I still didn't trust any man.I knew there would never be one who'd love me & stay with me.
Anyway; I moved to another state in 1996 and God being Who He is , I found the love of my life in the fall of 2000. I wasn't planning it, nor expecting it. I had resigned myslef to being alone. God had revealed to me He did have other plans, but I had no idea what they were! So... again with a sense of humor that I firmly believe God has: we were married three months after we met and I couldn't be happier.God does things in HIS time ... we just have to remember that HE is in control...not us ! We cannot forget that.
Then.. for some reason... when our son was 20... my ex made contact with him.Thru a series of coincidences, that I never thought I'd see, we have been able to come to peace with our past. We can actually communicate without hatred. All I can say is that miracles do indeed happen. I never thought we'd ever hear from him, ever. To come from the hurt and pain from where I was, to the peace I feel right now: I owe it all completely to God. I am so blessed to know that peace, because I know how close I came to losing it completely and forever. God saved me from myself, literally.
Posted 26 January 2013 - 08:38 AM
Posted 26 January 2013 - 09:33 AM
Posted 26 January 2013 - 10:36 AM
I pray they come to know Him as you do.
Posted 26 January 2013 - 10:46 AM
Posted 26 January 2013 - 03:19 PM
Posted 27 January 2013 - 01:56 AM
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:18 AM
bless you and may His grace continue to cover all areas of your life sister. thank you for sharing.
love to you.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:58 PM
Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:56 PM
Praying For Your Ex
Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:43 PM
I was scrolling past all the testimonies and decided to read this one.... good choice! such a blessing to read and its just what i needed today... God bless you and thanks so much for sharing xox
Thank you, and may God keep you in His Grace!!