I was called in aug/sept 2003, from aug/sept 2003-- aug/sept 2006,I read lots theological books through internet, sometimes went to church,I did not went to church frequently bcs I got very bad report of the local church, and also I myself have experienced some evil things in local church.
From aug/sept 2006--- February,2007,I was in the born-again process, and after that ,I decided I should listen the sermons from the professional pastors.
So I searched the pastors in website ,I only looked for English-speaking pastors bcs
1-i should learn English
2-i think the mainstream of Christianity is in English world, as the Chinese culture is too far away form the Christianity, even the bible in Chinese vision was translated with many “Chinese way of thinking”, and I do not read it.
At the initial time I choose listening the sermon of a Singapore famous pastor named Konghee ,I choose him for 2 reason:
- he and his church is very fashion, very modern and his sermon is very hot ,I do not like the church which is looks like in the middle age.
- He is yellow people but speaks English ,at that time my English was not very well, and I dared not listening the white man’s speaking-----it was the obstacle of psychology.
But after several monthes’ listening ,I feel very un-comfort about his sermon ,I did not understand the reason just feel un-comfort.
So I changed the pastor ,I choose an American pastor named Dr. Charles Stanley, and now it is almost 7 years I listening his sermons. and together with some other pastors I listened thousands of sermons through internet, but mainly were Dr. Charles Stanley’s.
I choose him for 3 reasons
1-he is a doctor
2-his mother, grandfather were all very Godly people
3-he is 80 years’ old,have plenty of true experience walking and working with GOD.
But in 2012 ,two very bad news came to me
The first one, is very complex, you can search “konghee”to know-------when I got this news,I praised GOD to stop me hearing this pastor’s sermon ,I said :”praise omniscient GOD, put un-comfort feeling in my heart ,then I had not choose the pastor”
But I were happy just for a little while,bcs by a coincidence ,I got the information that Dr. Charles Stanley was divorced in age 60……oh what can I say!6 years I was so trusted him, feel him as a grandfather, as a man of GOD ,sometimes I feel his voice was directly came from GOD, or even GOD himself spoke to me through him. ..oh ,oh ,I asked GOD:”what’s wrong with that,,6 years y did not let me know his divorce, and till now you tell me?”
Now it is sept. 2013 ,about these 2 very famous pastors ,I thought again and again,they are all very successful in ministry ,they are all have the great reputation,they are all seemed very Godly and trust worthy.but……….
If it is GOD leading me to understanding sth through the 2 pastors ,maybe in 2012 GOD thought I were mature enough in Christ to understand the true essence of human being, even the great pastor can not be trusted, and recent days I have a strong feeling GOD telling me that Bible is only standard of Christianity faith,I can not trusted the pastor entirely, and I should walking and working with GOD by myself, not via some helping of the pastor.
From aug/sept,2003- aug/sept 2013,I am seeking GOD for 10 years,
aug/sept,2003- aug/sept 2006,3 years,I was a seeker,
and aug/sept,2006- aug/sept 2013,7 years,I am a born again Christian,7 maybe is a number of mature.
I thank GOD leading me to 2 pastors who are all not blameless.