Dear Emissary of God,
Welcome to Worthy Christian Forums......Don't be dismayed,God has heard your cry & lead you here ,to us,your brothers & sisters in Christ....you yearn for fellowship and you have come to the right place.....if you find 1/2 the joy & love that I have found at this blessed place,,,,what a happy man you will be!!!!
We all fall short of the Glory of God,He loves us and comes to us while we are yet in sin.....but as you may very well know that without submitting to Him completely & without any reservations how is He to make you a new creature....there are some things you clearly don't want to give up yet or relinquish to Christ....yeah,I was once exactly where you are...you are not alone my friend
Listen,you love Jesus right?You confess your sins but yet you have not repented of them.....look at the glass half full instead of half empty...your halfway to where you want to go!!!You see,you don't really know Him,He has written an entire love letter for you to get to know Him.....lets reason together as it says in His Word....if you started a relationship with your wife(as a girlfriend)and you wrote to her all the time...poured your heart out & she wrote back but you just never opened her letters...how well would you know her,how would that relationship ever progress,how long would it last?Emissary,Faith comes by hearing,hearing the Word of God...God reveals Himself to us in His Word....seek Him & you will find Him in that Living Word....I know,its a big Book,right?Start simple,baby steps...begin in the Book of John & see how very much He loves you......
All the things you want to do & become are impossible without Him....but with Him,you will find you are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus......Our lives are always a battle of good vs evil(flesh against spirit)but little by little or maybe all at once(its up to Him)as you decrease,He increases in you.......It seems you want Jesus to be your Savior but maybe not the Lord of your life(I was the same way).....read His Word & pray .....Keep in mind ,my friend ...there is no gaurantee that we have tomorrow so start now....You are completely without the armor of God and weaponry...do you know How to fight the enemy?With the Sword of the Spirit....that is the Word of God!!!!!
Your in a gunfight with a nerf ball(not gonna work)......You are loved here,you are loved by the Lord....the rest is in your hands......
With love in Christ-Kwik