Hello. I am sorry to be introducing myself by asking for prayer, but I am desparate. I am terrified of a bad migraine attack coming and am asking
for prayers to cope with the pain, for it to lessen, and for strength to endure it.
I have been suffering from constant headaches which the past year have become migraines,
one after the other for so many months. I have been struggling with my faith because I am in
so much pain and had an abusive childhood and struggle to believe that God loves me.
I am sufferi ng from PTSD, which is traumatic and I feel so drained by being in constant pain.
I pray to God, and then stuggle with feeling he loves me because I feel so empty inside and lonely.
I am in spiritual, emotional, and physical pain all the time which has gotten worse this year.
In Feburary 2012 I came back to my faith again after losing my faith for many years. I just felt he did
not love me anymore. Then I came back to him, repented and longed for him to fill me with his spirit and
feel loved and wanted by him again. I prayed deeply for him to fill me but ended up feeling the pain of my childhood again,
deep depresssion, and having constant headpain and anxiety.
All last year and this year I have been praying, longing for him to fill me up, so I feel that I have meaning and am not in pain all the time.
I thought I was getting him back but have been having migraine attacks which have been days apart before another one starts, and now
I feel that I cannot bear to be in so much pain, feeling empty, unwanted, and this awful lonely spiritual pain anymore.
I am at breaking point. I have had another traumatic lonely day, and can feel another migraine again.
I cannot reach or feel this God of love and peace anymore. I am broken and worn out.
The strength I had has left me. I feel this terrible spiritual emptiness now which is worse than when I was without him.
My headpain is always with me and has been since March 2012. I feel I am losing my faith again, which hurts, and am dreading this
coming migraine. I am sorry for asking for prayer, but I am desparate and terrified. My mind, body and soul are in torment now,
and I feel that I can no longer go on another day waking up, if I can sleep in so much pain.
I long to feel I have meaning and that God loves me, and hate that the pain, and spiritual emptiness inside me is
killing my soul again.
Please could you pray for me. I am at rock bottom and feel that this is too much now and cannot bear to lose my faith again, and be in so much
terrible pain, but as I ask for him to help me, I only feel the despair and emptiness in my soul and terrible physical pain coming again.
I cannot take medication for the migraines because of the severe side effects and am not sleeping.
I have felt so sucidial, it scares me, I cry and the pain I am in makes my migraines even worse.
I long to believe and hold onto God of love, but only feel this terrible emptiness which hurts and despair, lonliness and pain.
Thank you so much for reading this and praying.
I would love to join in this forum and belong, but I feel excluded and shut out, and have come, desparate for help,
I feel that God listens to others and respects their prayers, but cannot respond to mine.
Edited by amy21, 17 October 2013 - 12:11 AM.