Jump to content

christian forums

Worthy Christian Forums - Christian Forums

Welcome to Worthy Christian Forums
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

I Feel Resentment!

* * * * * 1 votes

This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
11 replies to this topic

#1
LadyKay

LadyKay

    Veteran Member

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 536 posts

I've never shared this with anyone and feel kind of bad about how I feel about it. When I was growing up, I had to take care of my grandma. She had 3 grown children, but they did very little for her. When she would ask them to do something for her they would just tell her they would get me to do it, and so I did. When I got out of high school I wanted to go to collage. But I could not even think about how to do it a take care of grandma while having to hold down a job. I was the one who had to take her to the grocery store. I was the one who took her to all her dr. appointments and trips to the drug store. I mow the lawn, did yard work,fixed things around the house when I could, filled out forms for her to get heating assistance in the winter and free cheese, and milk from the government. I turn down job opportunities and gave little thought about what I wanted to do with my life. I had to stay in town and be available to take care of whatever she needed to have done. All the awhile her 3 grown children living their life and doing as little as possible and complaining about it whenever they had to do something for her.  In the end my grandma got to the point where she needed full time care. I told my uncle that  he needed to step in and take over. That I could not care for her on my own anymore. I was 29 years old. I had met someone and wanted to get married and live my life.  Her 3 kids had her put into a nursing home. She died about a year later and left everything she own to her 3 kids. I got nothing. Now this is the part I feel bad about. I resent that I gave up that time in my life when I should had been going after my own interest and trying make something of myself. At times I feel I wish I had been more selfish, more focused on what I wanted to do with my life, then setting it aside to care for her. I could have been something more then I am now. You must think bad of me for feeling this way. But I am being honest with my feelings.



#2
shiloh357

shiloh357

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 31,008 posts

Your resentment is understandable and I sympathize with you.   But you do need to forgive her and move on.  The Lord knows what you did and I believe that He will reward you for your selfless service.   The reward He will give to you will be far, far greater and more satisfying than anything that she could have left to you on earth.  Her thoughtless children have gotten all they will get.   Your reward is on its way.  :)

 

If you remain in your resentment, it will only eat you alive.  Unforgiveness is to the heart what flesh-eating bacteria is to the body.  For your own good and for your peace of mind, you need to ask the Lord to help you forgive her.



#3
BFP

BFP

    Veteran Member

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 856 posts

I think you have to just believe that you were doing what the Lord was leading you to do at the time, and be happy that you were the one he chose to do that service for you...whether you were rewarded or not.  I can understand the resentment well though.

I think she was very lucky to have you, and if had been more selfish who knows what would have happened to her, and instead of resentment you might be feeling guilt these days instead.  The Lord planned it, exactly the way it happened.  And you were chosen to do a wonderful work for him, and you obeyed!   Now that is special!



#4
WillfromTexas

WillfromTexas

    Advanced Member

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 304 posts

You know who knows what you did?  Jesus.  You've laid up treasure in Heaven!

 

You aren't alone Kay and resentment can be rough...  I'm dealing with quite a bit of resentment myself and it's rough.  All we can do is ask the Lord to help us with these feelings and take them away.  I think the Lord respects our feelings and understands.  His ways are higher than ours and sometimes it's hard to understand the trials and tribulations.  It's at that point you just have to say Jesus I trust you despite my lack of understanding.

 

The end result is bitterness though and nobody wants to go there.  Like a dum dum I let myself become bitter over a few issues in my life and I was the only one that suffered.  The people that hurt me are off living there lives having a high ho time.  Putting things in perspective will help but I won't say it is easy.  It is constantly in my prayers to take all bitterness, resentment, and hatred out of my heart and replace it with your love oh Lord.

 

You have a good heart and did the right thing.  What was your only alternative?  You could have been just like her uncaring children and dealing with 'I wished I'd helped instead of I helped and wasn't recognized'.  Another thing to keep in mind is old people are easily manipulated and she probably was forced to rewrite her will.  That just happened to me and an aunt- my cousin walked off with EVERYTHING  $400,000 and he was already rich from what he'd strong armed my grandma into giving him everything.

 

Also if she had no will it would automatically default to her children.  I'd imagine that's what happened.  One thing is I am sure that lady you helped remembered, appreciated, and loved you.



#5
bopeep1909

bopeep1909

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,020 posts

God loves what you did for your grandma.It was a very unselfish act.Don't let the bitterness of the loving care you gave to your grandma give you a bitter heart.



#6
Fez

Fez

    Royal Member

  • Servant
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,610 posts

The treasure you stored will not rust or be eaten by moths, it is waiting for you!

 

Guaranteed that the "treasure" the three recipients got, has already been spent?



#7
Sevenseas

Sevenseas

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,587 posts

Nope...I do not think bad of you at all.  I admire your courage and how freely you gave of your love and time.  I think you underestimate all that you did ... don't get a big head on that one now   ^_^

 

I can't tell you how many times I have heard stories similar to yours....in fact, mine is actually a little similar but I was not as patient as you, however did see the earthly rewards go to someone who

watched while I did most of what needed to be done.  But you know, I can't think of having done things any differently and I bet neither can you.  

 

I agree with Fez about the treasure laid up where moths and rust cannot corrupt it.  Sometimes it can seem so far away when we need more right now, but, nonetheless, I think one day we will understand

things so much better...right?  I so understand your resentment and impatience and questions.  I so much appreciate the fact that our heavenly Father knows absolutely every single thing about it

and that we can just tell Him exactly how we feel and ask Him to please help us work through it.

 

You can only move forward though and as others have said, forgive...even it you have to do it 23 times a day and ask God to bless those who have used you.  It will perhaps give you some love in

your heart for those who have treated you badly and who knows what God has in store for you as you move forward.  Sounds like you have a giving heart....allow God to heal the hurt...believe me

I understand...and He will and give you understanding with it so that you can reach out and help others along your path.

 

I have no problem with people sharing even their very worst feelings...I just don't like pretence and I am sure most believers would be the same way.

 

I'm thinking that you will look back on this one day and have a much better understanding of things.



#8
refugepsa91

refugepsa91

    Royal Member

  • Servant
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,525 posts
I could have been something more then I am now.

 

 

You dear sister could of NEVER done anything that could ever compare to what you did.  Your something better, would be just a title, what you did is one of the greatest accomplishments you could of ever attained.  You freely loved when no one else would.

 

Don't let bitterness or regret take that away from you!



#9
ayin jade

ayin jade

    Royal Member

  • Worthy Chat Servant
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 32,954 posts

Your resentment is understandable and I sympathize with you.   But you do need to forgive her and move on.  The Lord knows what you did and I believe that He will reward you for your selfless service.   The reward He will give to you will be far, far greater and more satisfying than anything that she could have left to you on earth.  Her thoughtless children have gotten all they will get.   Your reward is on its way.  :)

 

If you remain in your resentment, it will only eat you alive.  Unforgiveness is to the heart what flesh-eating bacteria is to the body.  For your own good and for your peace of mind, you need to ask the Lord to help you forgive her.

 

I so agree with this, and with the other things folks have posted prior to my post. 

 

In addition, there is an old saying (Chinese I think) that I heard long ago and always remember. Bitterness is a poison that eats from within. Forgive, as our Lord has forgiven us. Forgiving them will free you. You will be more open to the Lord and hear Him better once you are free of this pain. Ask Him to soften your heart. Ask Him to heal you from the resentment you feel.



#10
freeinnocentspirit

freeinnocentspirit

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 184 posts

I've never shared this with anyone and feel kind of bad about how I feel about it. When I was growing up, I had to take care of my grandma. She had 3 grown children, but they did very little for her. When she would ask them to do something for her they would just tell her they would get me to do it, and so I did. When I got out of high school I wanted to go to collage. But I could not even think about how to do it a take care of grandma while having to hold down a job. I was the one who had to take her to the grocery store. I was the one who took her to all her dr. appointments and trips to the drug store. I mow the lawn, did yard work,fixed things around the house when I could, filled out forms for her to get heating assistance in the winter and free cheese, and milk from the government. I turn down job opportunities and gave little thought about what I wanted to do with my life. I had to stay in town and be available to take care of whatever she needed to have done. All the awhile her 3 grown children living their life and doing as little as possible and complaining about it whenever they had to do something for her.  In the end my grandma got to the point where she needed full time care. I told my uncle that  he needed to step in and take over. That I could not care for her on my own anymore. I was 29 years old. I had met someone and wanted to get married and live my life.  Her 3 kids had her put into a nursing home. She died about a year later and left everything she own to her 3 kids. I got nothing. Now this is the part I feel bad about. I resent that I gave up that time in my life when I should had been going after my own interest and trying make something of myself. At times I feel I wish I had been more selfish, more focused on what I wanted to do with my life, then setting it aside to care for her. I could have been something more then I am now. You must think bad of me for feeling this way. But I am being honest with my feelings.


I think the fundamental point here is that you can't waste the rest of your life being consumed by bitterness. I wasted a large part of my life chasing a career goal and when I got to the top. I had a severe asthma flare up and was laid off work as I was being admitted to the hospital. So I gave this company the best of my years and now I was tossed out as I human and sick. However I got nothing in terms of sick pay but I did find faith when I hit rock bottom. We can't turn back time but would you really change a thing?

I think we are all guided to make the choices we do and this Is to lead us to a set place.

#11
Butero

Butero

    Royal Member

  • Soapbox - Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 20,716 posts

You are human.  Of course you are going to struggle with feelings like that.  In the same place, I would likely battle with similar feelings.  At the same time, God saw the things you did, and I believe you will be rewarded where it really counts, with your eternal inheritance.  That will be far greater than anything you could have now. 



#12
FresnoJoe

FresnoJoe

    Royal Member

  • Worthy Watchman
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 40,464 posts

Praying~!






Worthy Christian Forums - Christian Message Boards - 1999-2014 part of the Worthy Network