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Marriage

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#1
JustinM

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Good morning everyone.  One of my questions for today is, why do churches require a marriage certificate before marrying two people?  Why won't churches marry people without an "offical" marriage certificate? 



#2
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Good morning everyone.  One of my questions for today is, why do churches require a marriage certificate before marrying two people?  Why won't churches marry people without an "offical" marriage certificate? 

 

A marriage certificate shows proof of marriage. It is given after the marriage is performed.



#3
JustinM

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I apologize, I meant marriage license.



#4
Qnts2

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Good morning everyone.  One of my questions for today is, why do churches require a marriage certificate before marrying two people?  Why won't churches marry people without an "offical" marriage certificate? 

 

Without a marriage license, government will not accept the couple as married. Without legal recognition, the couple is not allowed to claim married on taxes. The states recognition of the estate should one die, is not an untaxable inheritance. Without the legal recognition, there might be issues with legal parental rights of any children. Lots of issues with an unlegally recognized marriage.

 

But, perhaps the bigger issue for a church is the appearance of evil. If a marriage is not recognized by society, then those around will or could view the couple as 'fornicating', or engaging in relationship outside of marriage.

 

I was looking thru some state license requirements. The states require paperwork if a member of the couple was previously divorced to prove they are not illegally marrying twice. Some states allow first cousins to marry but most do not.    

 

Below is an outline of requirements to get a license in North Dakota:

 

Marriage License in North Dakota ID Requirement:

Picture ID is required of each, i.e. Drivers License or certified copy of Birth Certificate.

Residency Requirement:

Do not have to be a resident of North Dakota.

If previously married:

State Law requires that we receive a certified copy of the Divorce Decree to keep with the Marriage License Application.

If widowed:

North Dakota law requires that we receive a plain copy of the Death Certificate of the deceased spouse.

Application Requirement:

Both parties to a marriage should appear in person to obtain the license.

Under 18:

If a person is between sixteen and eighteen years of age, a marriage license may not be issued without the consent of the parents or guardian. This requires a notarized statement. (This form available at the office that issues Marriage License).

A marriage license may not be issued to any person below the age of sixteen, notwithstanding the consent of the parents or guardian of said person.

Name Change:

Getting a marriage license with your new name on it does not mean your name has automatically changed. If you need to change your last name, you can use an online marriage name change kit.

 

Fees:

A marriage license in North Dakota will cost you $65. Some counties may require cash only.

Waiting Period:

No waiting period.

Blood Tests:

No tests.

Common Law Marriage:

No.

Cousin Marriage:

No.

Same Sex Marriage:

No.

Officiants:

Ordained ministers of the gospel and priests of every church may perform marriages. Ministers must file a certificate of marriage with the county judge who issued the license within 5 days after the marriage. Certificates must also be given to the persons married.



#5
JustinM

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Thanks Qnts2, I understand that. 

 

But, my question is, why does the church require a marriage license before they will perform a marriage ceremony?  If the church and congregation recognizes the marriage, then it has been sanctified and is legitimate.

 

A long time ago, people used to get married in their church in front of the entire congregation.  Now, churches have been diminished to a mere backdrop while friends and family of the betrothed observe the ceremony.  And, what's even worse, is, people attend weddings by invitation only, while the congregation of that church has been excluded. . .



#6
JustinM

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I believe that churches should forego the marriage license process and agree only to wed couples that are active members of the congregation and that it must be performed before, during, or after Sunday service, where every member of that church can witness the union.

 

I believe marriages fail more often now, because the unions are no longer sanctified or held accountable by the Church, that role has been surrendered to the state.



#7
Qnts2

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Thanks Qnts2, I understand that. 

 

But, my question is, why does the church require a marriage license before they will perform a marriage ceremony?  If the church and congregation recognizes the marriage, then it has been sanctified and is legitimate.

 

A long time ago, people used to get married in their church in front of the entire congregation.  Now, churches have been diminished to a mere backdrop while friends and family of the betrothed observe the ceremony.  And, what's even worse, is, people attend weddings by invitation only, while the congregation of that church has been excluded. . .

 

I don't know why most churches require marriage licenses. I think marriage licenses should be required to avoid the appearance of living in sin, and for protection of the spouse and future children.  

 

When I married my husband, we had a potentially volatile situation with my family, which opposed the marriage. I had invited everyone from my 'home group' to the wedding, and wish I hadn't. My parents showed up, and some of the people said some very insulting and silly things.  Weddings should be for family and good friends who support the couple.



#8
shiloh357

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I believe that churches should forego the marriage license process and agree only to wed couples that are active members of the congregation and that it must be performed before, during, or after Sunday service, where every member of that church can witness the union.

 

I believe marriages fail more often now, because the unions are no longer sanctified or held accountable by the Church, that role has been surrendered to the state.

You raise a really good point.  I also agree with the suggestion that churches only perform weddings for couples who are members, and I would add, members in good standing.  Lot's to think about in what you have said here.  Thanks for this eye-opening perspective.



#9
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Restricting ceremonies to members only would be showing partiality. It would also force christians who do not attend church to have to depend on the secular world to meet their spiritual needs. 



#10
FresnoJoe

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I apologize, I meant marriage license.

 

~

 

In Some Countries

Churches Do Not Require It

For The Government Curses Marriages Between Christians

And Will Encourage Bloody Mobs To The Murder The Couples For Sinning

And Even Send Soldiers To Gleefully Burn Down The Church Building With Any Caught In It

 

Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 2 Timothy 3:12

 

So My Answer Is Paying Tribute

Because A Church Requires A Civil Marriage License

And Getting The Full Force Of The Courts Behind It Is Not A Bad Thing But A Good Thing While It Lasts

 

And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marvelled at him. Mark 12:17

 

Thank You LORD Jesus For The U.S.A.



#11
JustinM

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I apologize, I meant marriage license.

 

~

 

In Some Countries

Churches Do Not Require It

For The Government Curses Marriages Between Christians

And Will Encourage Bloody Mobs To The Murder The Couples For Sinning

And Even Send Soldiers To Gleefully Burn Down The Church Building With Any Caught In It

 

Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 2 Timothy 3:12

 

So My Answer Is Paying Tribute

Because A Church Requires A Civil Marriage License

And Getting The Full Force Of The Courts Behind It Is Not A Bad Thing But A Good Thing While It Lasts

 

And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's. And they marvelled at him. Mark 12:17

 

Thank You LORD Jesus For The U.S.A.

 

Thanks Brother Joe, I understand there is significant Christian persecution all around the world, but it's not just Christians that live in peace and freedom in the US. 

 

By submitting to the State, to sanction Christian marriage, we have left the door open for all marriages to be sanctifed in our sanctuaries and Christian marriages are also failing.

 

We have gone from spiritual accountability to fiscal accountability when it comes to keeping a marriage, and the latter isn't much incentive to make it work.



#12
shiloh357

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Restricting ceremonies to members only would be showing partiality.

No, it would show a couple willing to be accountable to their church body.

 

It would also force christians who do not attend church to have to depend on the secular world to meet their spiritual needs. 

 

That would be their fault and not the fault of the church.  No one is making them stand outside looking in.  They can choose to be a part of a church, or they can wallow in the world's pig pen.  It's up to them.



#13
Qnts2

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Restricting ceremonies to members only would be showing partiality.

No, it would show a couple willing to be accountable to their church body.

 

It would also force christians who do not attend church to have to depend on the secular world to meet their spiritual needs. 

 

That would be their fault and not the fault of the church.  No one is making them stand outside looking in.  They can choose to be a part of a church, or they can wallow in the world's pig pen.  It's up to them.

 

 

Sometimes a young couple will meet while away from home at a college or university. The couple might be from differing parts of the country, and have not yet settled down in one location. It is traditional for the couple to marry near the location of the brides parents. So.... it is highly unlikely in this very common situation that both are members of the church the bride grew up in. And it is entirely possible that the bride has not been regularly attending that church for almost  4 years, or more.

 

In otherwords, the number of marrying couples who are not members of the same church as the brides parents is very very high.



#14
JustinM

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Restricting ceremonies to members only would be showing partiality.

No, it would show a couple willing to be accountable to their church body.

 

It would also force christians who do not attend church to have to depend on the secular world to meet their spiritual needs. 

 

That would be their fault and not the fault of the church.  No one is making them stand outside looking in.  They can choose to be a part of a church, or they can wallow in the world's pig pen.  It's up to them.

 

 

Sometimes a young couple will meet while away from home at a college or university. The couple might be from differing parts of the country, and have not yet settled down in one location. It is traditional for the couple to marry near the location of the brides parents. So.... it is highly unlikely in this very common situation that both are members of the church the bride grew up in. And it is entirely possible that the bride has not been regularly attending that church for almost  years, or more.

 

In otherwords, the number of marrying couples who are not members of the same church as the brides parents is very very high.

 

What's the hurry?  If the betrothed are serious about spending the rest of their lives together, why can't they wait to establish themselves in a church somewhere?  I didn't say people had to be married in the churches they were raised in.  I said they should be members, and as shiloh pointed out, members in good standing, of their church, before being permitted to marry each other.



#15
bopeep1909

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Why be married in a Church at all?I know it is tradition but God is everywhere.Do you think God would not Bless a marriage if it were in the beautiful mountains or on a beach?



#16
shiloh357

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It would be the ideal situation, being established in a church where everyone gets to know you, the pastor gets to know you, you develop friendships and other couples, particularly older couples that keep you accountable and they all get to witness the marriage and help the new couple through the twists and turns and around the potholes of starting a new life together.   That kind of support group would be invaluable and would go a long way to preserving that marriage.

 

Wow, Justin, the more I ponder this the more I think you oughtta write a book or pamphet or something on this.   This is an excellent topic for discussion.



#17
JustinM

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Why be married in a Church at all?I know it is tradition but God is everywhere.Do you think God would not Bless a marriage if it were in the beautiful mountains or on a beach?

While I agree, that is a romantic setting, it's also superficial.  The point isn't just about getting God's blessing for your union, it's also about ensuring your marriage is sanctified and accountable to God and the Church.  It also gives the new couple an amazing support group to help them through the tribulations of marriage, family, life.



#18
shiloh357

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Why be married in a Church at all?I know it is tradition but God is everywhere.Do you think God would not Bless a marriage if it were in the beautiful mountains or on a beach?

That misses the point of Justin's suggestion.  The point of getting married in a church you belong to on a Sunday morning where you have plenty of people who will hold you accountable is that it keeps you accountable and helps  preserve the marriage.

 

It is about the marriage, not the wedding.  People spend waaaaay more time planning the wedding and far too little time planning the marriage.



#19
Qnts2

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Restricting ceremonies to members only would be showing partiality.

No, it would show a couple willing to be accountable to their church body.

 

It would also force christians who do not attend church to have to depend on the secular world to meet their spiritual needs. 

 

That would be their fault and not the fault of the church.  No one is making them stand outside looking in.  They can choose to be a part of a church, or they can wallow in the world's pig pen.  It's up to them.

 

 

Sometimes a young couple will meet while away from home at a college or university. The couple might be from differing parts of the country, and have not yet settled down in one location. It is traditional for the couple to marry near the location of the brides parents. So.... it is highly unlikely in this very common situation that both are members of the church the bride grew up in. And it is entirely possible that the bride has not been regularly attending that church for almost  years, or more.

 

In otherwords, the number of marrying couples who are not members of the same church as the brides parents is very very high.

 

What's the hurry?  If the betrothed are serious about spending the rest of their lives together, why can't they wait to establish themselves in a church somewhere?  I didn't say people had to be married in the churches they were raised in.  I said they should be members, and as shiloh pointed out, members in good standing, of their church, before being permitted to marry each other.

 

 

I don't think you are understanding. In traditional, and biblical marriages, the brides family pays for the wedding, and the wedding is held at the brides family church. Both bride and groom are likely not members of the brides parents church. Plus, a wedding should never be delayed for obvious reasons.

 

What you are proposing is to make a new, unbiblical law and mandating it for churches.  One that cannot work, which is what I am trying to point out with a very standard scenario.  



#20
shiloh357

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I don't think you are understanding. In traditional, and biblical marriages, the brides family pays for the wedding, and the wedding is held at the brides family church. Both bride and groom are likely not members of the brides parents church. Plus, a wedding should never be delayed for obvious reasons.

A wedding should be delayed for some very good reasons, namely you need the time to get to know what someone is really like, being able to see them in various situational settings and watching their reactions to things.   People can plan to act a certain way, but they can't plan their reactions.

 

If two people really love each other, it is worth the wait.

 

What you are proposing is to make a new, unbiblical law and mandating it for churches.  One that cannot work, which is what I am trying to point out with a very standard scenario.

 

What is so biblical about the traditional wedding model?? 






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