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Posted 29 January 2014 - 04:30 PM
Posted 29 January 2014 - 05:25 PM
I"m speaking from 25 years of a wonderful marriage. My Steve went home to be with the Lord in March of 08. It has been a rough 6 years but I am so grateful that I had him for as long as I did.
Marriage takes work. It takes 100% from each person. To me this sounds like maybe God has something else for both of you. Being possessive and jealous and controlling are some of the worst things for a marriage. It sounds to me as if she knows that.
You need to let go and let God lead you in this. It sounds as if this relationship is already in trouble. Don't push her, that once again controlling and as from someone who had a good 25 years with a man this sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. You sound desperate and that is not good, that is a sign of controlling. It sounds to me like you need to get the counseling before even trying to attempt another relationship.
I'm not trying to sound like this is all your fault, it takes two to make this work. But don't give up on the fact that God may have something so much better for both of you. Let God and let Him work.
Posted 29 January 2014 - 07:00 PM
Welcome to Worthy!
The old expression "Let go and let God" fits in here. Perhaps you need to do as Rusty says, back away move on with your life. Young ladies mature faster than young men and it seems as though she has seen that in you and needs time away even if it is finding someone else - for life. You want - but is it what God has planned for your future and hers? You are going to a Christian school and should be aware that God has a plan for each of us if we are His and He knows the future you do not. Leave her alone. If she is meant to be yours nothing and no one can change that - if not - nothing you can do will change that either. Let go of her and let God guide your life and hers. If you love her do what she wants, put her first and follow her wishes stop thinking of yourself and your wants. Surrender your wants and wishes to God and see how He works things out without your help.
Posted 29 January 2014 - 07:16 PM
Release her to God. Maybe, if is His will that you be married, He will give you the desire of of your heart. But You must seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness. You must be willing to let her go and trust God to bring the right person for you. But most importantly you must completely surrender to God and allow Him to make you into the Christ like person He intends you to be.
I am thinking of Abraham whom God promised a son through whom a descendant would come and bless all the nations of the world. Yet when that son, Isaac, was about your age God told Abe to go to a mountain and take his son, and offer him as a human sacrifice! Abe loved and trusted God so much that he set out to obey God. He trusted that even if his son were to die that God could bring him back to life and fulfill His promise. He trusted that perhaps God might at the last minute provide another sacrifice. Not knowing just how God might solve the problem, he and his son Isaac, carrying a load of wood for the fire, climbed the hill and made ready the fire. That hill is now known as Golgotha, the very place where his decendant Jesus was to be sacrifced on the cross as a substitue for us. But at the last minute God did make Abraham aware of another sacrifice for his son Isaac. There was a ram caught in a thicket that Abe killed for the sacrifice. God required that Abe trust Him so much that he was willing to give up his son.
That is why I say that you must release her to God. If He takes her away He will have someone even better for you who can be more transparent about her feelings. Meanwhile, you will mature and grow to be the person God wants you to be. A well balanced marriage does not have one person dominant and the other person needing to repress her thoughts and feelings. To be a good helpmeet she will need to be enabled to feel free to express her input as well. Elise was very courageous to break it off. It means she is moving in the right direction of being able to stand up for herself. Now you need to mature as well and learn to submit to her in the Lord, too, as we are to submit to one another. You will have to learn to die to self, and that begins with your giving her to God to work it out for the best interests of both of you. Abraham's faith was accounted to him as righteousness. You also need to be a man of faith. Trust God in this. Give her to God and completely let go of her.
Let go of her.
Posted 29 January 2014 - 07:27 PM
Welcome, my friend. I moved this here for you. You can still post here, but you cannot start a thread outside the Welcome area until you have 5 posts or more.
Posted 29 January 2014 - 08:37 PM
Edited by gordonie, 29 January 2014 - 08:52 PM.
Posted 29 January 2014 - 09:07 PM
from my personal experiences I would wager that she was sending messages that just went over your head, or she wasn't into the relationship nearly at the level as your were..... either way isn't particularly good.
There have been some really good suggestions in the posts above, and you should give them a lot of thought.
Posted 30 January 2014 - 01:32 AM
Posted 31 January 2014 - 05:42 AM
it doesnt sound like your having any peace with this... I would let go of it. Just pray and give it to God. Otherwise, it will consume you and you will lose focus on the things that really matter. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
Posted 31 January 2014 - 08:20 PM
You want to be in a relationship that God's in the centre of - if He's not in this, it won't work.
You must trust God, and hand your hurt over to Him.