I decided to post this here in the open part of the forum, for all to see.
When reflecting upon times in my life when I've felt distancing from God, I came about one major reason; decreased or lack of doing what Jesus taught us to. Basically, to minister, meet people, listen to them with a compassionate heart, one filled with the kind of intimacy the Father has for His children; how Jesus Himself encountered people with broken hearts and condemned by their community and destined to be outcasts, while suffering from different kind of illnesses etc. He did not judge them, He loved them and shower mercy and forgiveness.
Truly, the legacy of Jesus was to do the same works as He did. Is it for real, one may ask? Did those miracles happen, and most importantly maybe for us, do they still happen? The answer is yes. Of that it is almost too easy to find testimonies from all parts of the world. Have you not had your share? Then the day is still coming, and might be any of these. Keep on hoping, for for those who ask it shall be given.
Back to my original thread which may profit as well those who do not ( yet ) see Jesus as for what He really is, as Christians no matter long-term or new in faith. Whilst I do not consider myself as anything special in that sense, more than anyone else as a unique creation of the Almighty God, please bear with me through what I am sharing.
I've been searching for the truth for about half of my life. That began through a crisis and I was preparing myself to die without any belief whatsoever for any sort of afterlife. But that made me ask questions, and most of all, to become an atheist. By asking profound questions about the existence however, I got to study different philosophies, like shamanism and buddhism, dreams and all that. You know the story. Long story short, it got me through various teaching all the way into the deep waters of new age without realization about the deception in its heart. If you are at the moment following some streams that can be seen deriving from the new age moment, please keep up with me for I am not one of those judgmental bible-bashing believers. I do appreciate and rely on God's Word, make no mistake, but I know how it feels to get targeted by a community of believers. No one really wants to be there, and often it may totally reduce any interest in Christianity altogether.
Eventually, I confessed it to myself, being an atheist and not to believe in God was way too difficult in this precise existence which just COULD NOT HAVE POPPED OUT OF NOTHING by itself to establish by a gigantic explosion as a life providing system. I welcomed God as my Father. And all the way through my time of seeking, I always had Jesus along, although He was greatly clothed with new age illustration. However, I learnt, He did not mind but patiently waited until I finally was ready to turn to Him as for who He is. The Son of God, my Savior. It's pretty simple to start with really.
Now we are approaching the part that inspired me to write this. Having the background I do, it is clear I don't fit the Bible Belt sort of category of believers, sorry to say. I admire people who basically seem not to have that much of a conflict with their faith. But that has not been the case for me. In additions, my studies in the university contain much of highly academic and deeply nonspiritual perspectives on God. there's this saying here, if you get through the university and still believe, it's a miracle from God and I can understand that. Sadly, not everyone decide to keep up with the miracle.
So during all these years (yes, we are getting to my point slowly but surely, the first part serves better seekers and the like) there have been periods when my faith has not been blazing. It has been rather a flickering flame than the blazing torch it should be. Why is that? And I know I am not alone. Why do many struggle with their faith? It might be crisis, personal trauma or fear that kills, steals and destroys which God has planted. For me, I now realize once again, it has been lack of doing God's work. This is due to certain reasons, but really, if you do believe in Jesus, find ways to testify, to minister, even just to meet people, listen to them, and if possible look for opportunities to pray as well.
This may sound as self-evident to many, but things happen in life that may capture so much of time and attention that one finds to become passive in this way about their faith. Please, do not let the circumstances limit your supernatural life in Christ. Find ways to testify.
That's necessary to survive as a born again believer. If the term born again creates negative associations for you, consider it a life with God's supernatural provision. Under Christ's supervision and protection. If you have an issue with Christianity, don't blame it on Jesus, for He's the good guy. It was the people who at times screwed stuff with their ramblings. But whatever God puts His finger on, miracles happen.
So I thought this might have two-fold effect; a testimony for those who come here to see if there is something about this whole thing about Christianity and Christ, and a piece of advice for those who wonder what happened to their connection with God if that's the case.
Of course, I am fully aware the situations differ greatly, and I do not oversimplify. This is just my story. I hope it benefited you to make it all the way here. What really counts is what are you going to do from now on? How many testimonies does it take to get convinced there really is something why so many find Jesus so superb of a fellow. Did He really rise from the dead? Does He really still do the work He did back then? No matter what any person you know or heard of, the only thing that may reveal the case for you is your personal experience. You simply cannot know for sure what's there if you do not make an attempt. Who knows, maybe He hears you, maybe He WANTS to come near. Maybe He's been there all along. Maybe it is time to know Him.
But you must make the decision. I just gathered, if you have made you way here in a place like this, you have some questions in your heart and want to know the answer. Many people can tell you that, but there is only one Who can give to you.
I started as a hard core atheist, and hated Christianity SO MUCH. I swore I would have gladly died if it had never spread. Little did I know, and it took a long time to get to know. Because I do KNOW God. For God is not just about believing in something or someone. It's about having Him in you, alive and recognizable. Would you want to know the Creator of the universes, and the Father of your spirit and soul? Because I know He wants you to know Him as your Father.
I am sorry about my irresistable desire to testify. If you ever get to know God, you will understand how these things just spring forth from deep within. No hard feelings. But if you got something that's greater than almost the very life itself, which is completely free and available for all, what would you do?
Best regards and God bless.