I did not post this in the prayer forum as this is not a prayer request but rather a discussion with the lord. i know some prayers are personal and private but i also it helps to sometimes release by writing down our thoughts and questions. i understand its strange and may not be popular but i thought it might help- i will begin.
Dear father, it has not been easy lately. the devil has hit me harder than ever and a couple times almost won. But i promised you long ago i would give u my all, that i would be strong for u and no matter how many times i fall we will get up and keep going. just as that fire burns in your eyes so does my heart for you, a flame such as this burns only because you gave it to me.
You have hidden your pesence from me for quite a while as i searched for you as one searches for water in the dessert but finding none you eluded me many times. i did not understand why this was happening for such a long period, i only knew to trust you and keep going. like a train i only know to keep moving foreward trusting you with blind faith even though i could not sense you.
I crave you and longed for you, my soul even groans out of deep hunger for you. so much so i actually feel the pain like one feels pain in their stomach from not eating for so long. its kind of funny isnt it? that a hunger and desire for you could become so strong that actually hurts. i only assume its a test of faith trust and endurance, in a way i am honored to be tested so severely but i still do not enjoy it. i actually feel my faith being stretched beyond its normal limits almost to the breaking point, you appear to be trying to make me very strong in you very fast but for what? what might you be getting me prepared for in such a hurry? will i finally be much more like you? so deeply filled with love as you are? Jesus i know because you love us so deeply u would die on the cross a thousand times over for the salvation of even just one soul. its because of how strong you are and because thats just how your heart is.
i end this with a prayer i ask u often, i seek to be so much like you and have a love for both you and the ppl of this world that is so deep i would be willing to burn in hell for a time for the salvation of just one of these ppl-your children the saved and unsaved.
Edited by fire-heart, 21 March 2014 - 06:26 PM.