Jump to content

christian forums

Worthy Christian Forums - Christian Forums

Welcome to Worthy Christian Forums
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

Christian Polygamist?

* * * * * 1 votes

  • Please log in to reply
193 replies to this topic

#1
RigMedic

RigMedic

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 190 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Texas
What are your thoughts on polygamy? I recently heard of a group of people on television calling themselves Christian Polygamists. From what I understand, marriage is between one man and one woman. I fail to see how taking additional wives is not the same as commiting adultery. However it seems to have been practiced in the Bible with little consequence. I personally believe it is a sin. I see it falling under sexual immorality and adultery. Also if it is a sin, and a polygamist became a Christian after the fact what is he supposed to do?
  • 1

#2
LadyC

LadyC

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,341 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Texas
  • Interests:my interests vary from week to week, but my faith never does!

my thoughts are that it is not biblically prohibited, but is socially restricted. in the US, polygamy is illegal. for  that means that any other "wives" are not really married to the husband, and that makes it adultery. and of course, adultery is sin.

 

one can't be a polygamist in the US and then become a christian after the fact, because polygamy doesn't legally exist in america in the first place. you may be confusing polyamory with polygamy though... the only difference being a marriage certificate.


  • 1

#3
OakWood

OakWood

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,105 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:South Coast, Great Britain
  • Interests:Archery, painting, plants and animals, Medieval history

I don't think that polygamy is acceptable in God's eyes as he made one man for one woman - but at certain times in history he has tolerated it even amongst those whom he blessed but there were often reasons behind it.

I personally think that polygamy is classed as adultery. However, let's say for the sake of argument a non-believer who is in a polygamous marriage finds Jesus and becomes a believer. Does he then have to divorce all his wives except for one? If so which does he divorce and which one does he keep? Who knows? Maybe he should seek the Holy Spirit to guide him. Maybe he would be allowed to keep all of his wives under the circumstances.

The same goes for divorced couples who have had children and then remarried and had children with their new partners. If they become saved what do they do? I would imagine that because all sins are wiped clean after repentance, that they stick with their new partners. They couldn't go back to the old ones because children are involved.

I don't think that anybody can claim to be a Christian and then go and seek polygamy (or polyandry for that matter) but there may be polygamists  who are Christians because of the circumstances they are in. Who are we to judge?

As for polygamy being legal or not, that doesn't matter very much because although polygamy may be illegal in most countries, having multiple sex partners isn't. So a man could live with two women and not be breaking the law.

It's not the certificate that defines marriage in God's eyes, it's the personal commitment and fidelity which is meant to be for life.


  • 1

#4
RigMedic

RigMedic

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 190 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Texas
What I find difficult to understand is if one is in a polygamous marriage, and then becomes a born again, Bible believing Christian, the Holy Spirit would then change his desires. He would no longer desire to live in sin, so how does one remedy this? If someone is living to please God they dont make provision for the flesh. Now im not saying that a Christian wont stumble into sin sometimes, but it seems that actively pursuing and engaging in a polygamous relationship seems contradictory to a Christians walk? I believe as Christians we are called to judge in certain instances. When the actions are in regards to sin we should be opposed to that right?
John 7:24 reads
Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgement.
  • 1

#5
Butero

Butero

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,386 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:North Carolina
  • Interests:Religion, Politics, Music, Sports

Polygamy was actually more than tolerated.  It was regulated in the law of Moses.  By God choosing to do that rather than prohibit it, he gave his approval.  There is nothing in scripture that would outright prohibit polygamy.  I am not even sure that it would be prohibited in the U.S., provided the state didn't have a co-habitation law.  A church could in theory sanction the marriage without a state recognized marriage license.  You are asking for a lot of problems if you go down that road, so I wouldn't recommend it, but I do think it is possible to be a Christian polygamist.  You are going to deal with so many issues in the home and persecutions from others, so I would really strongly caution against it. 


  • 2

#6
RigMedic

RigMedic

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 190 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Texas
So lets say hypothetically speaking, a church sanctioned a marriage between a man and multiple wives. Is that no longer adultery in that sense? Also just want to point out that I am not looking for a polygamous marriage lol just trying to wrap my head around this.
  • 1

#7
LadyC

LadyC

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,341 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Texas
  • Interests:my interests vary from week to week, but my faith never does!

i agree with butero (did i just say that? lol) that it is more than just "tolerated" by God. what of david's many wives? God said HE gave david his master's wives (among other things) and if david had asked, He would have given him even more. we can KNOW that God was referring primarily to the wives (as opposed to the other things) in this passage because of the context... david had committed adultery with someone else's wife, and when she got pregnant, had her husband killed. 

 

and as butero pointed out, it wasn't just kings. nearly every man in the OT that i can think of off the top of my head had multiple wives. 


  • 2

#8
OakWood

OakWood

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,105 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:South Coast, Great Britain
  • Interests:Archery, painting, plants and animals, Medieval history

 

Polygamy was actually more than tolerated.  It was regulated in the law of Moses.  By God choosing to do that rather than prohibit it, he gave his approval.  There is nothing in scripture that would outright prohibit polygamy.  I am not even sure that it would be prohibited in the U.S., provided the state didn't have a co-habitation law.  A church could in theory sanction the marriage without a state recognized marriage license.  You are asking for a lot of problems if you go down that road, so I wouldn't recommend it, but I do think it is possible to be a Christian polygamist.  You are going to deal with so many issues in the home and persecutions from others, so I would really strongly caution against it. 

 

 

I still think that it's not ideal. It was in the law of Moses because man was imperfect (well, still is...). It was a compromise. Before the fall I don't think that man was supposed to be anything other than monogamous. Many laws of Moses were not ideal. They served a particular function at a particular time, unless of course you really believe that God gets annoyed when he sees a man wearing clothes out of two different types of material.

I don't think that God really wants us to be polygamous although he may be a lot more lenient towards it than he is to other things.

With polygamy comes a price, and that price is twice the responsibility for a man - twice the attention, twice the money spent, twice the commitment and twice the children's mouths that need feeding ( and that's just in a two-woman marriage - with three women that triples).

In early times polygamy would have quickly boosted the Earth's population because a man can sow his seed regularly, but a woman remains unable to seed for at least nine months. Ask any chicken breeder why he only has one rooster, but a whole troop of hens (troop? that's not the right word).

I wouldn't say that polygamy is completely forbidden by Christian rules, but I would say that it is not to be encouraged.


  • 1

#9
LadyC

LadyC

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,341 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Texas
  • Interests:my interests vary from week to week, but my faith never does!

the problem with the whole "God tolerated" or "God compromised" theory is glaringly obvious:

 

God doesn't compromise. God's standards are pure and His justice is perfect. either something is wrong or it isn't. He doesn't tolerate something that He disapproves of to satisfy man's imperfection, or to word it another way, man's sinful nature. that would be totally contrary to His nature. furthermore, it would make every command for or against anything in His word "fluid"... a document that is at the whim of social mores throughout history... a document that is nothing more than a "guide", subject to imperfect human standards instead of God's perfect Word.

 

it just doesn't work that way. after all, it's the Bible, not the constitution, right?

 

that being said, i certainly wouldn't recommend polygamy. all that DRAMA!


  • 1

#10
RigMedic

RigMedic

    Junior Member

  • Junior Member
  • PipPip
  • 190 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Texas
These are good points, but if God intended for man to have many wives from the beginning then why only one man and one woman?

Matthew 19:4-6 NKJV

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ ? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Genesis 2:24 NKJV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Now I cant find a scripture that says you cant have more then 1 wife, but it never really puts it in a positive light either. Look at Sarah and Hagar and the bitterness that came between the two. One could also look at Solomon

I Kings 11:2-3 NKJV

from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart.

Having multiple wives turned Solomons heart away from the Lord.
  • 1

#11
OakWood

OakWood

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,105 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:South Coast, Great Britain
  • Interests:Archery, painting, plants and animals, Medieval history

the problem with the whole "God tolerated" or "God compromised" theory is glaringly obvious:

 

God doesn't compromise. God's standards are pure and His justice is perfect. either something is wrong or it isn't. He doesn't tolerate something that He disapproves of to satisfy man's imperfection, or to word it another way, man's sinful nature. that would be totally contrary to His nature. furthermore, it would make every command for or against anything in His word "fluid"... a document that is at the whim of social mores throughout history... a document that is nothing more than a "guide", subject to imperfect human standards instead of God's perfect Word.

 

it just doesn't work that way. after all, it's the Bible, not the constitution, right?

 

Who says that he doesn't compromise? Think about it. Why did he create Moseic laws that no longer apply? Do you think that he is angry with me because I don't leave the sides of my head unshaved?

He banned incest, yet he never rebuked Lot for impregnating his own daughter. At some point he changed the rules of the game.

God does not change by nature. If he disliked something yesterday, he dislikes it today. He made it clear that homosexuality is an abomination to him, therefore It's still an abomination to him today.

However, he did change how we are meant to deal with it. We're not expected to be followers of God and stone homosexuals to death, today we're meant to forgive. He changed the rules of the game, because today we have salvation through Jesus - the Ancient Jews didn't.

If God doesn't compromise then why did he agree to save Sodom and Gomorrah if ten good men could be found (at Abraham's request)? Of course, it was a compromise. It doesn't matter if God just humoured Abraham because he knew that there wasn't ten good men to the request, he still agreed to the request -  and at the end of the day God is not a liar, nor a deceiver.


  • 1

#12
LadyC

LadyC

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,341 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Texas
  • Interests:my interests vary from week to week, but my faith never does!

Rigmedic, it wasn't having multiple wives that caused  his head to turn from God. it was the fact that he chose wives who worshiped other gods. that is what was forbidden, and that was solomon's problem. he began worshiping those other gods to please his wives, instead of pleasing the one true God in worship to Him alone.

 

oakwood, if you want to believe that God compromises to satisfy man's lust, you go right ahead. that's not the God i know. many of the mosaic laws were written for specific people. that's something that is often overlooked. those laws were written for Jews, not gentiles. as for lot? i can't answer to why God never rebuked him, but maybe it was because he didn't even know he was having sex with his daughters in the first place. if you recall the biblical account, the daughters got him so intoxicated that he was passed out cold.

 

did He change how we were meant to deal with sin? not really. there were different covenants... the covenant with His people before Christ became the blood atonement, and the covenant after Christ's atonement. Jesus came to fulfill the law, not to abolish it. that wasn't 'changing the rules of the game' as you put it. it was never a game to begin with. it was God's plan from the very beginning of time.

 

God's response to abraham's request was also His plan from the beginning. God didn't compromise, He created a teaching moment. He knew He was going to destroy sodom and gomorrah, He stated He was going to do so, and He did not waver from that. Abraham's plea didn't change one single thing about the event. that doesn't make God a liar. it also doesn't mean He used deception or even toyed with abraham's head to humor him. it means that God was showing His sovereignty to His servant.


  • 1

#13
ayin jade

ayin jade

    Royal Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,332 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Western US

God set the pattern with one woman and one man. 

 

Lamech from the line of Cain set the pattern of polygamy. 

 

I prefer the pattern set by God. 


  • 2

#14
LadyC

LadyC

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,341 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Texas
  • Interests:my interests vary from week to week, but my faith never does!

i prefer the pattern of one man and one woman also, sheba! :)


  • 1

#15
Cletus

Cletus

    Advanced Member

  • Advanced Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 344 posts
  • Gender:Male
1 Corinthians 7:2

1 Timothy 3:2

Titus 1:6.

here are three verses in the NT that show one man and one woman. To gain better understanding read the whole passage not just the single scripture.
  • 1

#16
OakWood

OakWood

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,105 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:South Coast, Great Britain
  • Interests:Archery, painting, plants and animals, Medieval history

Rigmedic, it wasn't having multiple wives that caused  his head to turn from God. it was the fact that he chose wives who worshiped other gods. that is what was forbidden, and that was solomon's problem. he began worshiping those other gods to please his wives, instead of pleasing the one true God in worship to Him alone.

 

oakwood, if you want to believe that God compromises to satisfy man's lust, you go right ahead. that's not the God i know. many of the mosaic laws were written for specific people. that's something that is often overlooked. those laws were written for Jews, not gentiles. as for lot? i can't answer to why God never rebuked him, but maybe it was because he didn't even know he was having sex with his daughters in the first place. if you recall the biblical account, the daughters got him so intoxicated that he was passed out cold.

 

did He change how we were meant to deal with sin? not really. there were different covenants... the covenant with His people before Christ became the blood atonement, and the covenant after Christ's atonement. Jesus came to fulfill the law, not to abolish it. that wasn't 'changing the rules of the game' as you put it. it was never a game to begin with. it was God's plan from the very beginning of time.

 

God's response to abraham's request was also His plan from the beginning. God didn't compromise, He created a teaching moment. He knew He was going to destroy sodom and gomorrah, He stated He was going to do so, and He did not waver from that. Abraham's plea didn't change one single thing about the event. that doesn't make God a liar. it also doesn't mean He used deception or even toyed with abraham's head to humor him. it means that God was showing His sovereignty to His servant.

 

I cannot disagree with you. I read what you wrote and there's nothing at all that I can find to disagree with what you say, even though I looked for it.

I just see it from a different angle than you do, therefore I can't even go back on my own words either.

I wish that I could, but really I can't.


  • 1

#17
LadyC

LadyC

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,341 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Texas
  • Interests:my interests vary from week to week, but my faith never does!

it's ok oakwood, i get it. we come from a culture where the mere idea of polygamy is distasteful.... and it's just as nauseating to me as it is to you. i would never be willing to share my husband with another woman. maybe i'm selfish, or maybe not, but whatever it is, i'm a firm believer in monogamy.

 

but no matter how awful i think polygamy is, i have to remember that i'm not God, and i can't read His mind. i can only read His word, and He doesn't condemn it at all. in fact, without polygamy, there would have been no joseph to marry mary. and we can be relatively certain (although we don't find her genealogy anywhere) that without polygamy, there would have been no mary, either.


  • 1

#18
Sevenseas

Sevenseas

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,795 posts
  • Gender:Female

yeah, well, I believe that God indicated what HIS preference was and still is when He created ONE man and ONE woman.  Many things were regulated in the law...including how men

should wear their beards etc.  Let's not get sidetracked...what I ams aying, is that the law was given for existing conditions in a fallen and sinful world.  It is NOT the world

created by God as it was in the beginning.  

 

I have read plenty of opinions on men having more then one wife and in this very forum as well.

 

I believe we have the answer in the first few books of Genesis.

 

God, did NOT create polygamy any more then He created slavery.  For leadership in the church, the man must have only ONE wife.  You can read that in the NT.


  • 1

#19
Sevenseas

Sevenseas

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,795 posts
  • Gender:Female

it's ok oakwood, i get it. we come from a culture where the mere idea of polygamy is distasteful.... and it's just as nauseating to me as it is to you. i would never be willing to share my husband with another woman. maybe i'm selfish, or maybe not, but whatever it is, i'm a firm believer in monogamy.

 

but no matter how awful i think polygamy is, i have to remember that i'm not God, and i can't read His mind. i can only read His word, and He doesn't condemn it at all. in fact, without polygamy, there would have been no joseph to marry mary. and we can be relatively certain (although we don't find her genealogy anywhere) that without polygamy, there would have been no mary, either.

 

 

It's not our culture.  Polygamy is not distasteful to many or there would be no arguements for it.  God did not create polygamy or slavery or many other things we find people doing

or encouraging.

 

I do not at all believe that God ever intended for a man to have more then one wife.  If a man and a woman become one flesh, how would that be achieved if he had more then one wife

and, having more then one wife, would his multiple wives become one flesh with each other?

 

It just doesn't even make sense IMO

 

I think it is clear that the law basically dealt with what already existed.  I think we need to remember how women were treated and that through Jesus, we are now equal in

God's eyes...women were treated shamefully and there are many even today, calling themselves Christian, who believe that women should just be quiet and submit and as

you know that is a whole other arguement LOL!


  • 1

#20
LadyC

LadyC

    Royal Member

  • Royal Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,341 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Texas
  • Interests:my interests vary from week to week, but my faith never does!

show me where in the Bible God says that He will compromise His standards to make it easier for mankind to live in a sinful world.

 

sevenseas, i'm with you on not liking the whole concept. but scripture doesn't support what we like. God doesn't compromise His standards for the sake of sin. if that were true, then the Bible would be open to interpretation by every liberal church that says homosexual behaviour is ok.


  • 1




2 user(s) are browsing this forum

2 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users


    Genesis, other one
Worthy Christian Forums - Christian Message Boards - 1999-2014 part of the Worthy Network