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Christianity Is Preventing Me From Moving On From My Ex

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#1
kool_kid_86

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For the past few months I have been going to church because of my girlfriend Karen. We were really good friends before we started dating. Karen is a very devoted Christian and as her boyfriend I wanted to get to know her faith and become a believer like herself so I went to church. After six weeks, Karen broke up with me as one of the major deciding factor was because she was afraid that I was unable to convert. She was afraid I would pretend to be interested in Christianity until we got married, which at that point I would abruptly leave the church. I tried my very best to reassure her that would definitely not happen but she would not believe me. I don't truly blame her, as I have dated two previous girls before Karen, both of which were both anti religious thus I also became anti religious as well.

 

After Karen and I broke up, I told her that I would stop going to church as it reminded me of Karen too much. Two weeks after our break-up, I decided to give Christianity another chance. This was not for Karen but for myself. I was seeking peace as I didn't want my heart to ache for Karen anymore. I found this awesome church with excellent people, and surprisingly some of which are my old high school friends that I haven't spoken to in over 10 years! I started to become very interested in the faith and participated actively during bible study sessions, eagerly looking forward to each worship session, deeply praying to God, and read the bible with an open mind. I guess after the first session I was hooked!

 

In the past, I worked a lot with children in various jobs and was also a mentor and leader to them. I haven't done that line of work for many of years but I really did enjoy working with children. I've always told Karen that I did want to get teach and lead the children at church, and I felt like I could make a great positive impact at this church with my leadership skills and energetic personality. Thinking about this gave me hope that perhaps if Karen saw how dedicated to Christianity I was she might take me back so I continued to dedicate myself to Christianity up until the end of the summer.

 

A few days ago I got in touch with Karen. She has refused to speak to me since our breakup and so she doesn't know what I've been doing throughout my entire summer. We briefly exchanged text messages, and she said that she still does not see a future in our relationship. As much as it hurts, I accepted the fate that there is nothing more I can do to salvage our relationship and it was time to move on. I decided to try my very best to forget about Karen.

 

Yesterday, I went to my usual Friday bible study class and tomorrow is my usual Sunday worship. I originally intended that I would use these two final sessions to say goodbye to Christianity. Every time I think of anything to do with Christianity, I think of Karen. I feel as those two are attached to one another. Furthermore, I have a lot of questions and require a lot of deep Christian guidance to continue my journey. I am only close to a few people, none of which are Christians except for Karen. I am very private when it comes to deep personal issues such as religion and so it is very difficult for me to even talk to a pastor or strangers regarding my questions.

 

In my previous two break-ups, I was not emotionally effected very much. I am in my late 20s, my first girlfriend and I lasted 5 years, and my second lasted 6 years. As Karen and I were not dating for very long, I never thought it would hurt as much as it did as every part of my life was effected by the break-up with Karen. As a result, I don't know how to move on with my life. The pain I have felt after Karen broke up with me has been significantly more intense then all the pain my previous two ex's have brought onto me. I have been reading online to see how others deal with break-ups, and one strategy is to forget about your ex by removing the things that remind you of them. Unfortunately, for myself, one of these things is Christianity. Whenever I feel the warm surge of Christianity or the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart, I would be thinking of Karen.

 

I have the type of personality where once I become attached to someone, it will take a long time for me to become un-attached. In my other two relationships, I think it was easy for me to move on as during the final months we were just friends who happened to have history together instead of lovers. In other words, it just became inevitable for a break-up. In the case with Karen, we both really liked each other but Karen still decided that it would be best if we broke up. I guess perhaps why that is why this break up is hurting me so much.

 

I know that the obvious solution here would be to detach Christianity and Karen, but it isn't that simple for me. Christianity is one of the most defining features about Karen. Christianity made Karen become the girl who I fell in love with, and it becomes un-imaginable for me to separate Karen and Christianity.

 

My dilemma here is what should I do? I do enjoy going to church and learning more about Christianity, but at the same time doing so reminds me of Karen. I am trying my best to get over Karen by not thinking about her, but I feel that Christianity is one extremely defining feature about Karen therefore in my mind Christianity and Karen are tied together. Furthermore, I feel that I maybe coming close to the end of my Christian journey as I don't have anyone that I deeply trust that I can speak to in regards to answer my Christian questions except for Karen. I fear that as time progresses my heart will harden from Christ without guidance from church and Karen but at the same time I need to find a way to move on from Karen. What should I do?


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#2
OakWood

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Try a different church.

Belief is for yourself, not for others. Your own salvation is at stake here, not Karen's. If you truly believed then your previous relationship would not be a factor. Karen is not the only Christian in the World, there are millions of us.


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#3
kool_kid_86

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Sorry, I should have clarified. Karen used to bring me to her church. After we broke up, I went to several different churches before settling down on my current one. 

 

I am not going to church for salvation. I am not seeking eternal life (heaven), nor do I want to go to heaven. What I like about Christianity is how it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.


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#4
Fez

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Sorry, I should have clarified. Karen used to bring me to her church. After we broke up, I went to several different churches before settling down on my current one. 

 

I am not going to church for salvation. I am not seeking eternal life (heaven), nor do I want to go to heaven. What I like about Christianity is how it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Well there is your problem, and you are never going to find the answers if that is what you are seeking. 

 

Warm and fuzzy? Buy yourself a kitten or a puppy, join a gym or a country club.

 

Seriously, in your entire post you mention ex girlfriends, church, children, etc.

 

But never once Jesus. And He is the answer you are looking for, only Him.

 

As to the title of your post? It's not Christianity preventing you from moving forward. It's yourself.


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#5
OakWood

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Sorry, I should have clarified. Karen used to bring me to her church. After we broke up, I went to several different churches before settling down on my current one. 

 

I am not going to church for salvation. I am not seeking eternal life (heaven), nor do I want to go to heaven. What I like about Christianity is how it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

 

Firstly, your soul is eternal whether you like it or not. If you don't go to heaven then you're going somewhere else.

Secondly, that warm, fuzzy feeling could possibly be the Holy Spirit reaching out to you, so don't reject it.

 

A lot of people claim that they don't want to go to heaven because they don't understand what it is. Have you asked yourself what you believe heaven to be like?


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#6
LadyC

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i asked you in a previous thread, kool_kid, but if you answered me, i missed it. so i'm going to ask you again. WHY do you not want to go to heaven? 

 

life is eternal, like it or not. it's just a matter of living with Jesus, or a matter of living in eternal pain and anguish.


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#7
a-seeker

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Sorry, I should have clarified. Karen used to bring me to her church. After we broke up, I went to several different churches before settling down on my current one. 

 

I am not going to church for salvation. I am not seeking eternal life (heaven), nor do I want to go to heaven. What I like about Christianity is how it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

 

I don't wish to sound impatient but I feel like answers have already been given to you; are you starting a new thread because you didn't like those answers?

 

I wouldn't worry too much about heaven; if you don't want to go there, I don't think God will make you.  Problem is that most of the people at your church probably do, and they will move on, grow in their faith and much of their lives will be foreign to you because you won't understand what they are going through.  The warm and fuzzy feelings will come and go; they are not a permanent fixture of Christianity.

 

For now, I recommend dropping Church; the way you are treating it (as a crutch) it will only disappoint.  Find a counselor and meet once a week.  Get over your ex; get on with your life

 

clb


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#8
ayin jade

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I wouldn't worry too much about heaven; if you don't want to go there, I don't think God will make you.  

 

 

 

That is a foolish statement. If one does not go to heaven, then one ends up in hell. That is something to be worried about.

 

Koolkid, you are attending church for all the wrong reasons. I hope one day you find Jesus.


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#9
Fez

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I wouldn't worry too much about heaven; if you don't want to go there, I don't think God will make you.  

 

 

 

That is a foolish statement. If one does not go to heaven, then one ends up in hell. That is something to be worried about.

 

Koolkid, you are attending church for all the wrong reasons. I hope one day you find Jesus.

 

Amen to that.


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#10
kool_kid_86

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i asked you in a previous thread, kool_kid, but if you answered me, i missed it. so i'm going to ask you again. WHY do you not want to go to heaven? 

 

life is eternal, like it or not. it's just a matter of living with Jesus, or a matter of living in eternal pain and anguish.

 

Sorry LadyC, I must have missed your response. I have imagined that Heaven is some sort of utopia where you are surrounded by people you love and care about. There arn't many people like that in my life. I don't see the point of trying to enjoy yourself when there isn't that special someone there to spend time with.


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#11
Willamina

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Jesus and salvation are what it is all about. Until you turn away from the things you have done wrong, such as having sex before marriage or telling lies, and ask God to forgive you and to come into your life, you have not become a Christian. Attending church and going to Bible studies does not make you a Christian. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ is what makes you a Christian; and that starts with confessing the stuff you have done wrong to God in prayer and turning to Him to forgive you and change you into a more godly person. Reading the Bible and praying unselfish prayers are a big part of it. We should always pray that God's will be done in our lives. Attending a church helps keep you on the right track.

Perhaps you are making a god out of Karen because you are seeking her and not the SOURCE of the goodness and love that you see in her. She has the Spirit of God in her, and that is what attracts you. That is why you feel warm and fuzzy when you attend church as well.. God is telling you that you are going in the right direction but to seek Him. You are to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind, and your neighbor as yourself. If you seek God and His forgiveness first, everything else might fall into place.

At least that was true of my husband. He said he was going to stop going to church. So I asked him if he had ever asked God to forgive him. He said no. I told him that he had not got to first base. That night he went out to the middle of a field and asked God to help him to stop sinning and to forgive him. The next day he had peace inside for the first time. He said he didn't know why he hadn't done that a long time ago. He was 33 at the time.

But I have to warn you that our pastor asked God to give him a couple of different girls as a wife and the answer was always no. The girl God did give him was more perfect for him than either of the other girls ever could be. One of the other girls has now been married 5 times and the other has become ugly in her attitudes. He is so glad that God said no to the others.
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#12
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i asked you in a previous thread, kool_kid, but if you answered me, i missed it. so i'm going to ask you again. WHY do you not want to go to heaven? 

 

life is eternal, like it or not. it's just a matter of living with Jesus, or a matter of living in eternal pain and anguish.

 

Sorry LadyC, I must have missed your response. I have imagined that Heaven is some sort of utopia where you are surrounded by people you love and care about. There arn't many people like that in my life. I don't see the point of trying to enjoy yourself when there isn't that special someone there to spend time with.

 

Well there is God, and Jesus and the Holy spirit and three quarters of the angels, and Moses, Abraham, David, etc.

 

Interesting company!


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#13
LadyC

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i asked you in a previous thread, kool_kid, but if you answered me, i missed it. so i'm going to ask you again. WHY do you not want to go to heaven? 

 

life is eternal, like it or not. it's just a matter of living with Jesus, or a matter of living in eternal pain and anguish.

 

Sorry LadyC, I must have missed your response. I have imagined that Heaven is some sort of utopia where you are surrounded by people you love and care about. There arn't many people like that in my life. I don't see the point of trying to enjoy yourself when there isn't that special someone there to spend time with.

 

 

ok, now we're getting to the root of things. you don't understand what heaven is!

 

it's not about being surrounded by people you love and care about. the focus of everyone will be to worship God. yes, heaven is a utopia. the streets are paved with gold, the trees and flowers and rivers will be such vivid colors that we have never imagined before. there will be only joy and happiness... there will never be tears of sorrow. there will never be fair weathered friends that betray you. there will never be lovers who desert you. because the focus won't be on you... or on them. the focus will be on Jesus! we won't have girlfriends or boyfriends, we won't have husbands or wives. we won't even have best friends. we'll have Jesus.

 

maybe that sounds even worse to you... maybe the idea of eternity worshiping God sounds even worse than an eternity hanging around with people who all have people they love and care about while you fear having few or none that want to hang out with you. but the thing is, GOD wants to hang out with you. HE wants to surround you with His glory. He wants to give you an eternity of never being sad, angry, hurt, sick, or bored. He wants to give you the very best of His kingdom. it will be an eternity of warm fuzzies.

 

and the alternative isn't an eternity of nothingness. i'm not sure, but i think that is what you imagine... an eternity of feeling nothing. that's not the case. those who spend their eternity in the absence of Jesus are going to spend it in the presence of constant pain, sorrow, and agony. there will be no relief. there won't even be death to relieve the hell. it will just be hell. forever. is that what you want?


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#14
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This whole thread is just to much.  You say  you don't want to go to Heaven, So I have to ask where do you want to go?  There is only one other place and that is hell and you do not want to go there.  You sound as if you have no fear, fear the bible says is the beginning of wisdom.

 

You seem to be putting all your hopes on this one girl and your eternal soul is depending on it.  Eternity is a long, long time.  It never ends. It's a horrible thought and I pray you find your peace with God and start heading in the right direction and that is Heaven.  Eternity there is so wonderful you cannot even begin to grasp it.

 

I pray you find the truth.  Jesus said "I am the way the truth and the life.  No man comes to the Father but by Me".  Your right God will not make you go to Heaven, that is an eternal gift from God.  He has given you a way out of Hell and into His Kingdom of Heaven.

 

Remember there are a lot of girls in this world but there is only one eternal soul and once it's gone you can't change your mind as to where you want to be Kid so  be wise and look to God for your answers.

 

Because He Lives!!  Rustyangle


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#15
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Rustyangel, i have a different take on it. to you it sounds like he has no fear.

 

to me it sounds like he's terrified... i get the impression that heaven sounds like an eternity of being a lonely outcast, and he doesn't want that.


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#16
kool_kid_86

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Jesus and salvation are what it is all about. Until you turn away from the things you have done wrong, such as having sex before marriage or telling lies, and ask God to forgive you and to come into your life, you have not become a Christian. Attending church and going to Bible studies does not make you a Christian. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ is what makes you a Christian; and that starts with confessing the stuff you have done wrong to God in prayer and turning to Him to forgive you and change you into a more godly person. Reading the Bible and praying unselfish prayers are a big part of it. We should always pray that God's will be done in our lives. Attending a church helps keep you on the right track.

Perhaps you are making a god out of Karen because you are seeking her and not the SOURCE of the goodness and love that you see in her. She has the Spirit of God in her, and that is what attracts you. That is why you feel warm and fuzzy when you attend church as well.. God is telling you that you are going in the right direction but to seek Him. You are to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind, and your neighbor as yourself. If you seek God and His forgiveness first, everything else might fall into place.

At least that was true of my husband. He said he was going to stop going to church. So I asked him if he had ever asked God to forgive him. He said no. I told him that he had not got to first base. That night he went out to the middle of a field and asked God to help him to stop sinning and to forgive him. The next day he had peace inside for the first time. He said he didn't know why he hadn't done that a long time ago. He was 33 at the time.

But I have to warn you that our pastor asked God to give him a couple of different girls as a wife and the answer was always no. The girl God did give him was more perfect for him than either of the other girls ever could be. One of the other girls has now been married 5 times and the other has become ugly in her attitudes. He is so glad that God said no to the others.

 

I definitely have asked God for forgiveness for my past sins although it was very difficult. My biggest regret was that I cheated on my first girlfriend of 5 years. I immediately moved onto my second relationship with the girl I cheated with and we had a wonderful 6 years together. I knew my second relationship would not work out as I felt very guilty for cheating, but in my mind would not be a valid reason to break up the relationship so I sub-consciously acted as a bad boyfriend so she would break up with me. I have tried to ask God for forgiveness about that, but I feel like I should be asking my first and second ex to forgive me instead of my God. I find it very difficult to seek forgiveness from a 3rd party, or even ask for forgiveness in general. I believe that if I did anything wrong, I should be the one to bare the consequences and not anyone else. I am responsible for my own actions.

 

 

 

Rustyangel, i have a different take on it. to you it sounds like he has no fear.

 

to me it sounds like he's terrified... i get the impression that heaven sounds like an eternity of being a lonely outcast, and he doesn't want that.

 

Thank you LadyC. I never really realized it until you mentioned this, but I am terrified of being alone. I'm only in my late 20s and spent about 11 of those years in a relationship with two wonderful girlfriends. I did take those two relationships for granted, and so with Karen I made sure that she felt how much I cared about her everyday. 


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#17
other one

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Until you can let Jesus be the Lord of your life and love him first I doubt any of this will work out very well.   That is what you are missing.


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#18
LadyC

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kool_kid, i wanted to PM you but apparently your not able to accept messages. so here's what i was trying to send you.

 

not sure if you saw the response i directed at you prior to commenting back to rustyangel... it's post #13 in that thread. 
 
listen, i think your perceptions of what heaven is like is all twisted and messed up, and that's what has you 'not wanting to spend eternity in heaven'.  it's not uncommon to have misconceptions of who or what God is about, or christianity, so don't feel like you're the only one, ok?
 
and also, i wanted to mention something else. willimenia had some really good things to say, but the way she worded some of it made me wonder if you might have misunderstood her to mean that one has to become instantly perfect once they ask for forgiveness. that's not the way it works. we're never going to quit sinning, ever. we're human! the thing with God though is that once you've asked forgiveness for your sins, you get the benefit of His amnesia. He literally will never remember the sin you asked forgiveness for, no matter how many times you screw up. every time you ask forgiveness, it's the FIRST time. 
 
now granted, that doesn't apply to your ex girlfriends. if you have the opportunity to contact them, i think it would be a good idea for you to do so, and just tell them your regrets. get over your guilt complex and accept forgiveness if they offer it. it will bring closure to you and to them. 
 
i think your guilt complex is also what's hindering your walk with God. i could be wrong, but didn't you indicate you are a christian? i know you said you asked at least once for His forgiveness. let me just clarify for my own sake... do you believe with every fiber of your being that God is who He says He is, and that Jesus died on the cross so that we could be spared from an eternity in hell, and that Jesus rose from the dead and is lives today?
 
if you say yes to all that, then that's what makes you a christian. it makes you a christian who has a lot of mixed emotions and guilty conscience and feelings of inadequacy, but that's just normal.
 
hey, do you like rock music? specifically, do you like creed?
 
oh, and by the way, by my late 20s i'd been married, divorced, and broken from another long term relationship. it wasn't til i was 34 that i was ready to accept who God had in store for me. so don't worry, you're not too old to find happiness.

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#19
a-seeker

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I wouldn't worry too much about heaven; if you don't want to go there, I don't think God will make you.  

 

 

 

That is a foolish statement. If one does not go to heaven, then one ends up in hell. That is something to be worried about.

 

Koolkid, you are attending church for all the wrong reasons. I hope one day you find Jesus.

 

Amen to that.

 

 

So you think so long as a person does not want to go to heaven, he will still go to heaven?

 

Kool_kid is clearly not in an emotional place where he can conceive heaven as it really is.  Right now, he is fixated on a rather naive notion of romantic love, which will fail him just as the warm fuzzies he gets at church will fail him.  But fire and brimstone him all day if you want and see how that works.

 

 

And  thank  you for taking one sentence of mine out of context and responding to it. 

 

typical Fez

 

clb 


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#20
FresnoJoe

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I am not going to church for salvation.
 
I am not seeking eternal life (heaven), nor do I want to go to heaven.
 
What I like about Christianity is how it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

 

~

 

Christianity

 

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. Psalms 42:1

 

~

 

Warm

 

And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.”

 

God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else.

 

Temptation comes from our own desires,

 

which entice us and drag us away.

 

These desires give birth to sinful actions.

 

And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:13-15 (NLT)

 

And Fuzzes

 

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin.

 

A slave is not a permanent member of the family,

 

but a son is part of the family forever.

 

So if the Son sets you free,

 

you are truly free. John 8:34-36 (NLT)

 

http://www.worthychr...ible-fresnojoe/

 

~

 

Believe

 

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (ESV)

 

And Be Blessed Beloved

 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son,

 

that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

 

Love, Joe


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