kiwi

Question for thought: Jesus did remarkable work/had a wonderful influence on the world during his short life (33 years, right? I'm *far* from a scholar!)....Why, given how much GOOD he did while on this earth, didn't God allow him to live longer? this question was asked of me a few weeks ago...

Wisdom... You obviously posted this for me (okay, others, too), but WOW!

Thanks for your responses so far... This person is very "self-sufficient" and is extremely "in control"/just "HAS to be in control" type.

I think this is the place to post this...please excuse if not... In trying to explain what "prayer" actually is to one who does not readily pray, I was given these responses. Please give feedback. I appreciate it. Thanks! "All I have in me, God gave to me. God gave me everything I have and now it's up to me. God doesn't have time for me-He has other stuff to do. He is in me-all power is now in me-prayer is inside me. Because God gave me all I have, now it's up to me to use what I have." Any comments? Do you agree with this/disagree? ??? Why? Thanks

Thanks, WIP for your thoughts and clarifying.

That's the difference between being "in" the world and being "of" the world. Timothy, thank you for this statement!!! Often it seems that people forget they DO live in this world...this statement helps me a lot!! THANK YOU!

Hi WIP, Thanks for your opinions. The Bible is clear that we are to judge. We are given absolutes, rights and wrongs. And your coworkers are stealing and have no integrity, and your friend is living in continual, willful sin. "Judging"? Yes. Wrong? No. Do you have scriptures for this? I could really use some references right now. I can relate, I would be frustrated to. But you've got to give it to the Lord - give HIM your frustrations and ask Him to help you concentrate on you being the best employee you can be. I know it hurts to see others getting away with stuff we would like to have. But, we haven't been promised a sweet deal - we have to suck it up sometimes. Sorry I don't have more pleasurable advice! yes-that's what I've been doing: just praying and "letting it go" there's really nothing else I can do. I appreciate everyone's input. I just have a personal battle/but it's lessening, thankfully! If you have shown her the truth of her behaviour and she does not repent, do not discuss it with her anymore - all she wants is someone that will validate what she is doing - and you even just listening will be taken as validation by her. I'm not sure I agree with this as far as my enbaling her. She is more of an "acquaintance" that has grown into "friendship" as far as she is concerned. For some reason, God keeps bringing her back into my life and I keep praying that, as God promises, I will say the right things. I understand what you're saying, but I don't think ignoring this blaring issue is the answer either. Thanks to all of you. Kiwi

I guess my being more of a "computer illiterate," I was not really sure about all of the "internet relationship" things that go on,much less how anyone could possibly become involved with someone they didn't know. That was about a year and a half ago. I have learned since, that one reason why people can become so close in a short period of time, is, you are "forced" to communicate online. Let me explain: in some ways, you learn more about an individual (if they are telling the truth) in a month online than you can in "real life" with them in months or sometimes years because you communicate-truly have to communicate, or there's no contact. Online, you can remain 'anonymous' as long as you choose, too. You really are limited to typed words, but those words can be very expressive and very personal (if you choose) and you don't really know how the other person is going to interpret those words, either. When you first meet someone (online or otherwise) you can be very casual in discussion--then, you can start to talk about feelings (personal feelings-asking for help with problems, etc). How the other person interprets those words/how the other person interprets that is how relationships start. You have to be very careful to choose words and depths of conversations wisely. You also have to set "limits" upfront as to whether or not you will allow things to go further than a casual friendship. To do that, you state the fact over and over and you make sure your words fit the "friendship" tone and meaning. I am very "guarded" online. It used to be because I was pretty inept with the computer (getting better, I'm thankful to say). I think that if one is okay with divulging personal information to everybody and their brother, then that's fine for them. I do think you need to realize that "real people" are reading whatever it is you are typing. the internet is a great way to meet people, spend time, learn lots, become informed and play. I think, as with anything, everyone should just be careful and use common sense. As far as "adultry" potential: I think the internet brings easier accessiblity to something that someone had the potential for in the first place. If someone isn't getting something out of a current relationship/the internet brings the world to their fingertips and they'll seek whatever's missing there. Just my thoughts...

Thanks, Tarrier for your thoughts. I've been praying for the Lord to show me what to do/how to act/what to say AND to help me "let it go"...I feel much better with both situations now. I can only be responsible for myself. I don't like the fact that I was seeing how "judgemental" I was becoming. That's what was bothering me most. I am better now. Being able to verbalize the situations has really helped!! and, Shadow, dude....I'm a 'sis'

Shadow....nice post, especially on this :inlove: weekend I beg to differ with you: sounds like you and Patsy do have love, commitment, honor, respect for each other (you're just too modest) But whatever you call it/whatever makes your relationship work, may God contine to bless you both! :biggrin:

Thanks to each of you: I will attempt to address what you each have said in order of response (if I can figure this out!) lol First, I have to admit that the rest of my day (since posting this morning) has gone much, much better--I have felt WAY calmer and I think it's due to the fact that I had a place to 'unload'...I really don't have anyone I can vent to without rocking the boat, so to speak, and I appreciate this opportunity! George: CRACK ME UP!! I guess I did have an "explosive" amount of stuff to unload, huh? I'll have to consider the anonymous letter-I'm not sure where to direct such a letter, but I'll consider it. Yes, I am in a "gov't job" which I'm learning has its own set of 'rules'... I like the term "infactuation" and even though I've been aware of this situation since before Christmas, I haven't ever used that term to her before. I will "throw that out there" and see what response there is. I pray before I even begin talking with her-for God to give me strength. I know she respects what I say-she listens...she may not always agree/but I am honest and to-the-point about things. Obviously, she keeps coming back to me for "advice" for some reason (obviously God sees fit she does!!). Thanks for your input! Catsmeow: Thank you for your response! I never thought of the church-mentioning as a form of manipulation. I also liked the term "convict" from God. At first, I thought it was "condemn" which I thought was not my intent..I hate to admit I had to look up the word just now to realize CONVICT would mean God would make them see they are wrong. (learn something new every day-thanks!) I'm embarrassed, but I haven't looked at "convict" in that way before. Thanks for the lesson! I agree wholeheartedly with you and this is a major "flag" for me: How can she still love her husband, yet, make plans with a man from another country to "sneak away"? doesn't make common sense to me. Thanks for verifying (all of you) that I'm not so confused after all. Traveller: You've made valid points about the job situation. "Funny" you should ask about "higher ups"...there's only one who is "higher up" and he did a "sweep" yesterday morning early to see who was at work (or so it seemed). Unfortunately, I was at an off-site meeting, so I'm hoping he doesn't assume *I* wasn't working either just because I am in the same department as the "slackers." Thanks for your input! Timothy: I used to be a business owner too...and I am definitely not cut from the same cloth as most of the people I work with (as far as work ethics is concerned). I worked constantly and I still believe you need to work if you are getting paid. The LEAST one can do is SHOW up for work if there is a "down time" work-wise. There is always "something" you can find to do-no matter what it is. I have repeated the same type of words you've used here as far as relationships are concerned. I have been married 17 years and it DOES take work. It takes a type of work and devotion that some are not willing to put in. At the same time, I do understand that it goes way beyond "work" and "desire." There has to be mutual respect and sometimes, that is not present. I've tried to word things to where my friend figures stuff out for herself and draws her own conclusions. I will be glad when the "big trip" is over. I'll have to fill all of you in (if you like) about the outcome. Star: I agree with you. I think she IS fooling herself if she thinks nothing will happen. I guess that's the point: if she is "so in love" then, how is she ever going to keep from acting on her feelings when she sees him in real life?" I am not sure WHAT the purpose is of meeting. I didn't quite finish my thought this morning: since this is a "done deal" as far as plans/reservations and he is coming from England, I told her she'll see once and for all how he really is. I am hoping (and have told her so) that I hope there is NO chemistry and that she realizes once and for all that this was a fleeting experience-one that will make her take note as to why she feels the need to reach beyond her own husband to fill some "need"-whatever that need is. Thanks to all of you. I appreciate your responses. This "internet" stuff is real-very. I am praying that they realize what a huge mistake it was meeting: everyone is "perfect" and what the other wants them to be online (let's face it-when you don't live with someone, of COURSE they are "perfect") HA!! Thanks to all and God bless!! :biggrin: :biggrin:

Hello all, I feel kind of weird asking for help because I know I don't post as much as others. I do read, however, and I enjoy the different views each of you bring to the board. I welcome any comments that any of you have to offer. Perhaps some of you can relate. Maybe others of you will have great advice/insight. Thanks in advance for all of your help! I have two seperate issues, but they are affecting me in the same way: I am trying to learn what to do/how to deal with my personal reactions. I know it seems like a "judemental" reactiond on my part and I know we are never to judge. I just don't know what to do I haven't verbalized my own opinions to the work issue, but I have verbalized my own opinioin to the relationship issue. The first issue is work-related: I am internally fuming because 2 co-workers are taking time off work and not counting it. A variety of excuses have been made as to why they "can't come in." They are both my subordinates and I am not in a position to question them. Examples of time off include 4 weeks' worth of vacation that was never documented from one and 2 weeks' worth from another. Where I work, we are alloted a certain amount of vacation time per year. What they are doing, in fact, is padding their "official" vacation time by not counting when they go on vacation. It is the same with sick days. Often, my subordinate will say "I'm taking a personal day"-and again, the day is never documented. We have an accounts person who is in charge of keeping personnel records as well as financial and I am reminded daily by him as to how neither of them have sent paper work through to document sick days (in the amount of almost a month's worth between them)-just for "sick" days. One thing that makes this even harder to "live with" is that I am asked constantly if "I went to church/saw in the bulletin about "such and such," because one subordinate who is taking advantage of days off, attends a mutual church and makes it a point over and over to let me know they are attending church. I have people who work in the same place but who are in different departments and they are confiding in me about how they are experiencing work apathy and are frustrated. The morale of everyone is plummeting. They, too, are siting the same type of actions (or lack of) in their departments. I know this is being petty and is not my business. That's why I'm bringing it to you all: I feel frustrated and am mad and I feel it is wrong and because of that, I am being judgemental. I truly do not know what to do. any work-dilemma advice? Second issue: relationship: We are all aware of how the internet brings the world at our fingertips. We also are aware of how many relationships are disolved due to internet relationships. I have a friend who has "met" a man from England. She is currently married with 3 children (youngest is 1, oldest is 8). As many can relate/understand, she is stressed and the internet provides her "personal time" to play games, chat, and have an escape from reality for evening hours every day. The old "we didn't mean for it to happen/it just did" speech is given. They are in love, she is not going to divorce her husband/won't give up her children (she tells me this). Regardless, the facts are this: he is coming to visit her this spring. He is divorced and single. She is is currently planning where and when they can meet. He has set dates/airline tickets and hotel reservations-this is happening. They are not going to have personal relations (that is "not right" she says) and they will have to steal time together whenever they can. She has invited him to attend church with her/although they will not sit next to each other (her husband doesn't attend church, so no 'danger' there, and she doesn't want her older children seeing her English love). She's expecting to have the one year old with them most of the time they are together (they will have a total of 6 days visit opportiunities, although it may be for only a few hours a day, depending on her husband's work schedule). I am reminded how "they didn't mean for it to happen" and how they are "so in love" and how she "loves both her husband and her new English love" and how she is still a "church goer".....I don't see how people can pursue those who are not available-can any of you? Again, this is non of my business. I kjnow that. I am coming to the board to get some kind of feedback-maybe just to release this "out there" so I don't have to carry it around. I feel better just typing it all out. I have verbalized to my friend that I feel it is wrong and that this visit is only going to make matters worse. I have told her that at least (trying to look on the positive side) they will "know" if this "love" is "real" or if there lacks any real-life chemistry between them. I certainly am not perfect in any way. I am not claiming to be. I am internalizing both of these issues and I have been praying about it. I have been praying for ME to be given strength to "let it go" because it is NOT my business and I have been praying for others so that they would have a concsience. Any comments? Thanks again for any and all sharing. I apologize for it being so long. Thanks! kiwi

Hi healthyminded... You'll love the gym, not only for the health benefits, but I find the socialization awesome! If you go at a set time/particular days, you'll soon meet all kinds of new friends. That in itself is very motivating! Soon, they'll be checking up on you and "fussing" if you don't show! I learned to swim this year-was very scared of the water ... if I can learn at 41, *anyone* can! (yep, even my green self was water-shy) of course, don't ask me to get in water over my head *willingly*! God bless!

Hi Melanie, Thanks for the smile I'm doing well...yeah, guess I'm 'back'...like my new '"look"? not the other little green icon I used to have-decided I needed a new look (it isn't easy being green) thanks! God bless!

I need a real pick-me-up after reading this...it's sad.