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*Zion*

Royal Member
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About *Zion*

  • Rank
    Royal Member
  • Birthday 05/11/1984

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    London
  • Interests
    The Kingdom of God.

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  1. *Zion*

    1885

    You could write history books and make some dosh. I'd read it, for sure
  2. *Zion*

    The creation of hell

    Agreed
  3. *Zion*

    Intervention

    God has intervened in my life, my situation, in my marriage. In a way I never thought possible. Though I have a long way to go, I trust God and I commit myself and my family into his hands. To God be ALL the glory! Because there is simply no way I could achieve any breakthrough on my own. Praise God!!!
  4. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    Ok. So. My husband did something I thought he would never do. He admitted to everyone in our home group/cell group what has been going on between us. The whole group prayed for us. He also has agreed to go for counselling, both marital and personal. I am sure this is God. In the back of my mind I can't help but wonder if this is somehow part of his act, but it's so out of character for him. I know that God is fighting for me and my kids. I was so ready to leave but now I feel that something genuine is happening with him. Thank you guys for supporting my family in prayer. This has been so big. God is moving, and doing. God bless you all.
  5. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    In theory, yes. I can pray for him, and even love him - but only from afar. When I'm in the same room with him I just feel exasperated. Drained. I can't live like that, and I can't be a good mother to my children. I need to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I have to let the wound heal before I let anyone, let alone him, go poking it. One day I will be able to completely detach myself enough from him to not get worked up by memories, knowing they will never affect him the way they have done me. he will never lose a night's sleep over me the way I have over him, so many times. For now it'll just have to be theory. I need to do this one step, and one day, at a time.
  6. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    I should have explained. My two older boys are on holiday in Poland with my husband's parents. Yep. He sends them away. I argue with him and he says the tickets are already paid for and you are spoiling their fun. And of course, as kids, they do think it's fun, and so I would be seen as the bad guy. so they go. I have two weeks of summer holiday left before they come back home. It's gonna feel like forever, but they will come back home for school, and then I can make some moves. God is good, and faithful.
  7. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    It went well for me but not for him. I feel so free! I feel I am finally myself again. However, I am expecting retaliation of some kind. BUT now he knows others are fighting for me too, I'm not as isolated as he wants me to be. Also I have requested a private appointment with my female pastor. I'm seeing her this evening. There was a lot I couldn't say in front of him, and he knew it. Otherwise he would have just acted his way out of it, and moreover, I would be in great danger for exposing who he really is. I am not going to make any bold moves until my kids come back home. But by then at least she would know everything, just like my mum does now. Guys, there is strength in unity! I've never felt so looked after! How good and pleasant it is when brethren dwell together in agreement! We really need to look after each other. Thank you, Worthy Fam for looking after me in prayer. God bless you all!
  8. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    Yes it was today, and yes it was just as billiards ball said. he was very humble, didn't say a bad word about me, and they took his side. Initially. Of course he expected me to just roll over. I did not. God gave me strength in that room to say what I needed to say. I confronted him about his snail paced progress. I confronted him about his robotic-ness. I told him that I was not a victim, and that I will not just give in to him just because he said so. I said that I don't think about him anymore, just the kids. I have lost too much sleep over him, crying when he doesn't seem to care at all. I told him that I was too tired and i needed some space, and that I would be at my mother's house. He was shocked at this, considering that I am not so close with my family, and that he has tried to keep me isolated by moving far away. At first I didn't think I could tell my mother, but she is supporting me. He did not expect that. Then my pastors turned their attention more closely to him. I never thought I would see it. Suddenly, he was being held accountable. And he couldn't squirm out of it. My pastors prayed for me to be strong, bold, and for peace and joy for me. And told me that I was too polite, and that I needed to say 'no' more! I didn't know what to think of it all! Except to say thank you Jesus! Then they added insult to injury. They told me to be patient with him and speak in a way he could understand. You should have seen his face!!! He had no answer. The only thing he could do was agree. I know that God was fighting for me today. All glory to Him! my husband thought he could outsmart compassion with common sense. I guess God didn't want that done today. He knows I have the protection of the pastor's now. He knows if he tries his luck he would be exposed further. Thank you ALL for your prayers. God worked on my behalf. I feel free; I feel impossible. much love!!!!!
  9. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    Yes sharky, I realise that. You probably didnt mean it in a bad way, but please don't assume that I haven't taken my own children into account. In fact, one of the reasons I haven't come forward sooner is because I didn't want him to do something to THEM in retaliation. Again, my husband is extremely intelligent. He smells anything like authorities and he can do anything. He is a consummate actor. He's fooled everyone around us for 9yrs. Please just pray.
  10. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    You don't know how many times i have weighed in my heart exactly all these things. I am praying. It's hard, because anger has now replaced any love I ever had for him. I am utterly, helplessly furious at him. But I give it all to God in the desperation of prayer, as he feeds off of any reaction he can manipulate. He feels powerful in doing so. Let's see what God will do. The counselling session is this Friday evening.
  11. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    My husband wants our pastors to counsel us. I'm suspicious. They love him, and they think I'm a bad fit for the church. I agreed to it. I have nothing to hide, nothing to lose and even if they kick me out of the church or how bad it can get, I guess I just wasn't meant to be part of that congregation. I've been there since 2002. I've poured out my heart in minstry in this church. But if it's time to go, then I trust God for myself and my children. Pray for me.
  12. *Zion*

    Feeling trapped

    Thank you billiards.
  13. *Zion*

    Derailing thread

    London, UK
  14. I would say they have the itching ears syndrome. To some, anything is more palatable than hearing the truth of the gospel; even needlessly giving away money if they think it'll make them seem more righteous than the one who is actually doing the right thing. These are the last days, and many shall be deceived - even the elect would be, if it were not for the Lord cutting the time short, as He says in His Word. Those who endure to the end will be saved. Hang in there, brother.
  15. *Zion*

    What time is it?

    I said I thought he was the first rider, on the white horse; not the red.
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