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About preciouspearl

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  • Birthday 10/03/1987

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  1. health.

    probably going tomorrow
  2. health.

    i have been struggling and inactive spiritually so this is why i havent been around. firstly thank God im doing better mentally. i havent self harmed since july im struggling with weird heart sensations and skin color changes when i move around . this has happened before but its become more aggressive and i noticed it when i went on a ride with my 7 year old niece. its kind of scary and i should probably get it looked into. at work it is difficult to lift things because i feel unwell
  3. cliquish people

    after awhile since this was posted things worked their way out.
  4. feel lost

    to be honest i dont really know if ill actually be in heaven when i die.... i kind of feel like im hoping for the second coming so ill just be taken or if im left behind ill be like oh ok well then....ill just not take th emark or something stupid.
  5. cliquish people

    i realize saying they suck is harsh of me and wrong. but i still feel slighted. the other friend who sat with me was just joking but its still triggering to be called a bad influence a bit.
  6. i dont know how to deal with it anymore. i feel like my life is getting worse and im better off worshiping God in a forest or something i said hi to someone like eight times tonight and they did looked at me on a side glance and talked to an older woman with a child. she said hi to me and had a smile that looked uncomfortable and junior highish. oh and i was laughing during the message because jacob kept falling on his face and it just made me giggle then some lady said that i was a bad influence sitting next to me. well her facebook page is a bad influence anyway. we used to be friends and i think they suck.
  7. schizophrenia

    therapy wasnt too bad. ill give some reflections on that day. my actual therapist doesnt have her own room because she works there part time. there are 40 therapists in total. so i cant yet accuse her of forcing a religion. she seems accepting that i go to a faith based group at times so here is something i wrote about it the other day. so i went to therapy on saturday and have an appointment next saturday as well. we discussed the things checked off on intake and i feel exhausted. i kind of feel like she was asking why i do things already. and its valid....but i have never got that deep with a T or counselor before. she said that flashback were checked off on the page and asked if i had trauma. i said "i dont know i guess" the truth is i can have flashbacks to my self harm stuff anyway or bad fights. my mom prefers if i dont go there on saturdays all the time and i told her i told the T about this and said im flexible. i told mom that she might be able to be flexible but not next time for now. she said "oh so you are running down the family already huh? .....jus tkidding" thats kind of not funny to me. it may have been a joke then but just still another thinly veiled warning.
  8. schizophrenia

    I start therapy on Saturday. When I had the intake appointment,there was a Buddha statue. Do you think this is a good idea? Since the same person who did my intake won't be my counselor she might be safe but Idk .
  9. Premonitions

    I silently kind of feel I predicted a few events on the news
  10. schizophrenia

    yes actually. but i kind of thought that that could be normal? i generally have a pretty good memory but generally i kind of feel some things are just ....weird. i dont know how to explain. i think i can remember some things i learned in school that i held onto. etc
  11. schizophrenia

    perhaps and then i consider that i get migraines and auras and have some stuff in my history that i posted here.
  12. schizophrenia

    ik now it wouldnt hurt to try
  13. schizophrenia

    thank you. your reply was kind i just hope that if i truly have it i can still stay in control and know reality......
  14. my dr is considering that i have schizophrenia and this scares me. im aware of some signs but im afraid one day i wont be aware if this is true :'(