Try not to meditate on it , ask God for forgiveness and then forgive your self ,
Isaiah 43:18 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever
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1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake,and remembers your sins no more.
Be keeping you in prayer brother