I recommend that you seek professional help, keep a journal, and pray. Every time you feel the need to harm yourself, and these other destructive issues, pray, read the Bible, watch a movie, anything to to bring your focus elsewhere that is positive. I know all of this is easier said than done, but I assure you you have friends here and your not alone. And God most importantly is with you, let Him take care of you and guide you. I'll keep you in my prayers. Peace be with you.