I will pray for you Jeremy, my advice is don't beat yourself up. It takes courage to acknowledge our problems and deal with them, your taking right actions. I would recommend Joyce Meyers book Battlefield of the Mind. Your issue begins with your thoughts. Just like you train your body muscles you have to learn how to train your brain muscle being your thoughts. I would also recommend getting a revelation of Gods love for you. You can do that by picking out a bible verse that speaks His love to you or just speaking Jesus Loves Me and repeat it out loud for a minute a day until it becomes revelation. You'll know when you've had a revelation!