shas456

I am a seventeen year old girl. Despite being a public school student who is surrounded by peer pressure and negativity all the time, I have managed to truly maintain my Christian ideals and beliefs. Not only this, but I came from an abusive home that was not religious at all (both of my parents are drug addicts) and I prayed every single day for a way out and took comfort in reading the Bible. I was finally put into a new home, but my situation isn't much better than it was before. But I still haven't lost faith and I refuse to. I trust God and I know that He has a plan for me and that He is all the strength I need. According to statistics I should have dropped out of high school or been on the street by now, but instead I am one of the top 10 in my class. It seems like in these modern times teenagers are so obsessed with sex, and I actually get mocked and bullied at my school for remaining a virgin and wanting to wait until I am married and for studying all the time as well. I have set high standards for myself and I will accept nothing less. I also refuse to listen to anyone who tries to convince me that what I'm doing (pushing myself and studying all the time) is stupid or that my faith in God is pointless. So now that you know a little bit of my background, here is my issue. Five months ago I started dating someone. He used to be a very religious Christian but he fell in with the wrong crowd and became addicted to drugs and sex. I pretty much picked him up at his lowest point, and tried to help him overcome everything and his problems, as he has been through a lot. He is a work in progress, but he is getting better and I have noticed a significant change in him. I finally convinced him to open up to his family about what was going on and seek help for his drug addiction and other things. But I believe (unlike most of the individuals I know who are of my age group) that you should not be with someone if marriage is not the ultimate goal. I have an internal conflict when it comes to my current relationship. I care for him very much, but sometimes I ask myself if I can really accept the fact that I won't be his first for anything. I have purposefully saved myself to marry someone who possesses the same moral values and level of self respect as I do, someone who wants to wait until marriage, someone who is a Christian. And here I am, having trouble accepting that he will never be that. I don't really know what I should do because I care for him, and I am trying to help him to get better and become the person I know he can be, but at the same time the internal conflict and questioning of "Is this what I really want?" are boiling inside of me. I need some guidance because I have no idea what to do at this point. Anyway, if you read all of this thank you! I appreciate your time! God bless!