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briocht

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  1. I am really struggling with pornography addiction. It actually is linked to sexual abuse in my past. I get nightmares or bad memories and I end up using it to hurt myself (I know it's really messed up). I know this is all wrong on many levels and I don't want to do this but I feel trapped. Anyway my worry is when I sin I ask God to forgive me, but I keep doing the same sin over and over and I keep worrying that this means that I haven't really repented and I read somewhere that it could indicate I've not truly been saved! I am so concerned that God isn't going to forgive me that I am pulling away anyway and that's making everything worse. I want to do the right thing, I want to live a life that honours God but honestly I am messed up mentally. Any advice or insight?
  2. I have a lot of shame about this but I have been addicted to pornography since I was about 12 years old. I believe I can and will overcome this with God's help, but I find that when I get upset about what has been done to me sexually I feel worthless and fall into this sin over and over again. It's really had to explain why...I guess I feel worthless because of what's been done to me and so I just watch pornography to hurt myself. I know that this is not God's best for me by a long shot. I know that this is so wrong and I hate what I do. I don't know how to overcome this. Is there anyone here who might understand me, and be willing to keep in touch? I need to talk to some God centered people! Thank you for reading this....x
  3. I am so sorry for your situation it sounds incredibly difficult and I really sense your frustration. Firstly are you receiving treatment for your depression, not just medication but also some form of talk therapy such as CBT? I understand what it's like to live with someone who just does not understand what you are going through and who chips away at you. It's very difficult especially when you feel you're just at your wits end. I really truly get it as that's where I am. So my advice is try to at least talk to the person and explain that you understand their intentions are probably good but that their comments are making you feel worse. If they refuse to change, then all you can do really is try to surround yourself with positive people or positive messages that will encourage you. Would it be possible for you to get and volunteer your time until you find a paid position? That would be something positive that you can do with your time, and would get you away from the negativity at home. Keep praying, keep studying, cry out to God and tell him all your woes. He is there, He is listening and he cares even if it doesn't feel too much like that right now. Don't give up, this is just a rough phase in your life. God has better things planned for you. Praying for you.
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