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Child_of_Hope_in_Jesus

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About Child_of_Hope_in_Jesus

  • Birthday 02/09/1970

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    Female
  • Location
    michigan
  • Interests
    reading Bible ,crafts , painting ,cats, learning of all types,

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  1. yes i understand what you saying in my case i had the abuse and lack of sleep too so well the state CPS said seeing i was the stay at home mom i was the one abusing the kids and why the kids acted out badly even in abusive ways to others no one even asked if my hubby was abusing me or even really talked much with me without hubby being there too he pretend to be the good loving hubby and daddy to the kids but he was a monster when we was home alone to me and the kids too yes i believed i deserved it too as how dad and brothers treated me i know no other way that the sad part too and yes looking back i did abuse my kids in some ways too it was because of my lack of knowing right way to raise kids but the abuser who was over us all was my hubby he in the end lost his parental rights i did too but the state let a very very abusive women adopted the kids she abused them a few years then they was taken from her sad my kids payed in the end a very very dear amount too i not see or talked to my kids in 16yrs now they are all but one still in state care so can not even know how there doing but i changed my life now but feel it to late in a lot of ways too love ya in Christ lily
  2. wow your mom sounds a lot like my mom in many ways i had to be tough for her take on blame and yes even pain at times to keep her from having too i saw and still do see mom as weak and well easly broken too so as long as i was living close to her daily i did not have a life of my own as mom needed me she was emotionally lacking so i had to take on stuff i thought but over the last few years God been showing me i need to back away let mom face her life without me being there to cushion it in away it was not easy to move away as truth parents was all i had i lost my kids due to abuse left my abusive hubby too so family was parents and me mostly too lost my auntie last dec. she passed away i would visit her at times so do miss her a lot too but now i moved away my parents only ones who even talk to me i have two brothers both abused me growing up oldest one who 4 years older started sexually abusing me at 3yr until i was almost 11yr then he moved on to dating and sex with the more willing at first i thought i did something very bad and he stoped loving me my understanding of love was missed up by way family acted dad raped mom a lot i think brothers say that thought was way you treat girls too i kinda think mom know they was hurting me sexually but she would not leave her abuser so why would she help me she acted helpless in it all still does she 74yr and dad will be 75 in dec. still together too 53yrs of marriage to a abuser he no longer can have sex with her and well that part of the abuse has end but dad is very very very abusive in other way she say will he never hit me so it not really abuse i told her still abuse but she say in it i think she afraid to be alone sadly but for me it not the life to live i want to be more and more Christ like walk that path but can not do that if i stayed close to family God had me make a very very hard choice in away but i know i made the right one God has to be first in my life not my mom and was told if i trusted God i put my family in His hands too so ya a acted of trusting God too i sorry you was so abused too by them that should have loved you with real pure love but i think they like my parents did not know what real love is i still learning myself what it is too love ya in Christ lily
  3. yes i agree with you family to me is them that come along side me walk with me and me with them i never felt that around my family also i can not be the real me around them as i use to try to live up to their demands and expectations too but that never worked as they never pleased with me i always a disappointment to them sadly never can be what they think i should be i learned God want me to be who He created me to be the real me not me faking it to get accepted by family with the people around me now i can be real and even emotional and they stand by me support me too i never had that before so all new to me now yes i missing what use to be for holidays but thanksgiving was a real blessing this year as i was able to have a meal in peace no fighting , yelling , complaining ect. so different then use too felt good but odd too i do still talk to my parents some but not much they might come see me in December too but not Christmas day i have other plans already yes i need to keep my space too but it hard as i love them so much too but there toxic too i do understand you too about your birth family but God gave me new family in away too so i blessed very much by that too your blessed i sure too yes people who never delt with this do not understand at all most the time so i agree with you there too hope you have a good holiday season count your blessing each day too love ya in Christ lily
  4. yes i am finding that out also many twist the bible to mean what they want not way God met it at all my dad does that a lot of the time i use to believe what he said but now i go to God word read it and ask God to help me understand it too and i see He does that too love ya in Christ lily
  5. yes i agree time to be adult it hard at times i just keep praying and doing my best to walk as God wants me too love ya in Christ lily
  6. God has over the last 10 yrs lead me to people both offline and online that have helped me turn to God more that why i am able to 6 months ago move away God been working on me a lot but trust has been a battle in away too sadly some i trusted turned on me even told my abusers what i said and the abusers said it never happened ot it was child play sadly too i not going to be with family on the holidays this year have made other plans safe ones that will lead me closer to God too not easy but i doing this to keep me safe too to me Christmas is Jesus birthday so want it to mean a lot too as it really about Jesus not about other people and what they want or demand of me hope you too can have a Christ centered holiday season too love ya in Christ lily
  7. yes i understand that too but what hard for me is they say they Christians but do not acted Christ-like at all it sad in so many ways but only God knows their hearts too i keep praying and try to improve my life and walk in Christ too love ya in Christ lily
  8. yes i seeing that now more clearly thank you too just hard leaving everything i know and moving on faith away from a family that not healthy at all sad but the enemy got a deep hold on them i do pray for them all too as i scared they not be in heaven with me some day too this abuse goes way back too but i want to break away and God is doing it within me to become more Christ-like too that the desires of my heart has been most my life too but i amt i was stuck in the abuse and even married a abuser and lost my parental rights to my three kids have not seen them in 16yr no connection with them at all but i am praying for them to know Jesus too chaos is what my life been now at times i feel calm and peace and yes it hard as i not use to it at all thank you for posting to me love light and hope lily
  9. thank you yes God is healing me in a lot of ways too i finding that i am depending on God more and more too i know that is a good thing i do not talk to my two older brothers as they seem to only want to rejected me and my way of life long story of all kinds of abuse by my oldest brother and others outside the family too but God showing me not all males like that too most my life i was scared of almost all males but am now learning a lot about that too and God bring healthy Christian males into my life too so that good too sadly my family not healing they choices to stay in their abusive way get no help at all i tryed for many many years to get my mom to seek help as she was abused as a child and still in abuse she 74yr and her health is not good at all so i feel she could pass at any time too i do love her why i still at times talk to her on phone and a few visits at my place too but that it as i need to do what God wants me to do but i feel like a stranger around even my mom it hard as i do love her but i not have a emotionally connection with her i feel might never have it at all God through my new church is bring others in my life who fellow Him it amazing in away bu cool too thank you love ya in Christ lily
  10. thank you missmuffet i know God was why i moved it was like He was guiding me to change my life i had prayed and cried over this all before i did it at 47yr i left my family and moved i am at peace most the time with this but satan has been whispering in my ear a lot mostly about my mother who in some ways used me in a bad way kinda like even as a child i took care of her emotionally that why i struggling with a lot as at times i feel i left her in the abuse but she stay in it i can not no more God been showing me a lot last few days too yes a new beginning a new journey too i know i did right thing in God's eyes at times i feel like the 1.5 hours away is a different world all together it is now to me thank you again for your kind words love ya in Christ lily
  11. hi all i am having a hard time right now i moved in may away from my family it was a big leap of faith for me i truly feel God made it happen too after 47 yrs of abuse and drama in my birth family i am away from it daily it been great in many ways yes i am growing in the Lord too in a lot of way He lead me to a great church and even gave me a new best friend who a very devoted christian in so many way too so i geting healther too here the hard part i still talk to my mom a few times every few weeks i love them as people but i do not feel conected to them emotionally at all i do not know them in so many way too they say they christian too but not living for it at all well toight i called my mom as dad had eye surgery on wednesday i wanted to see how he was doing and well i do care about them a lot too so as i was talking to her she said she loved and missed me i told her i love her as i said night too but after i hanged up i started hearing stuff inside my head like how much i hurt her by moving , how worthless i am , how we to honer are parents, that i abandoned her , all a lot of other stuff i use to live for my mom in that she needed me emotionally i was her 2nd chance at life she lived through me i had no life of my own at all at 47yr i moved away and first time in my life i feel i have a life of my own too but satan hitting me hard about all that means how much i am hurting them i say i love too i know i did the right thing in moving but well satan attacks me a lot right now on this the thing keep hitting is my other family members are like strangers to me i not know them at all do not talk very much with them either then i get feeling bad about how i feel ect..... do others feel like this can we be strangers to our family what am i to do i do pray for them every day as i care about them but can not live close to them the abuse is to much and scars to deep too so this what going on ask any question you want this last 6 months been like a dream at times i never thought i do this move away from them as i was told most my life i was to take care of mom she mattered i did not i do have deep wounds and many scars too but just not feel contected to my family at all love ya all in Christ lily
  12. to me evolution is real but is from God too I believe God put all things into motion and all things come from Him so why could He not use what man call evolution to help all thing a just to what He but into motion just like the weather patterns and other things we see in our life we give words to things we not fully understand at time the word evolution is one of them words we use I think if one really studies both scientic and God word most will see that we are but using our understanding that limited to explain God creation that was put into motion at the beginning of time this is away of life God make we see things a just to the weather changes and other changes around them man try to make since out of this all but with our limited understanding we really at times confuses our self into thinking that we know more then God myself I am kinda believing that God make evolution just like He made all other things too love light and hope lily
  13. if they do not like it they need to not go there when I was in school we went to a campus life building right across from the school for lunch was open to all we even had a bible study at lunch time there too was great and many came only for the free pizza so they end up getting to know Jesus some for the first time in their life we need this type of thing in this age too I give the people credit for there Jesus lunch love light and hope lily
  14. I agree with you I only been married one time he was abusive but I stayed in the marriage as I thought that was the right thing to do well after our 3 children were taken by the state CPS and he fooled them made him self look like the good parent he was a military man know how to control and get what he wanted but I know nothing and keep the secrets too but I did want our family but God had other idea and kids were taken we both lost parental rights and have not seen kids in 14 years so after all that I left my abusive hubby and am still single after 11 yrs I came to have a online boy friend and he just after knowing me a long time and dating 2 years online came to visit me too my boyfriend and me have both been hurt so no sexual stuff and we just learning hugs are ok but we taking it slow I not think I remarry but we have a relationship that based on Christ being the center too I think that how all relationship should be too love light and hope lily
  15. I agree with you I not even watch tv at all love light and hope lily
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