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  1. Desperate Call to Action on the Church's Part

    That does not excuse the thousands of other true stories. And there are thousands. Studies have shown that less than two percent of victims, if that, lie about what was done to them. Two wrongs, especially in these cases, never make a right.
  2. Desperate Call to Action on the Church's Part

    I was angry. And I wanted to make myself clear.
  3. I don't even know where to begin, but I need to say this. There is a huge moral and ethical scandal going on in American churches, and that involves sex abuse. And it's been going on for FAR too long. To everyone reading this post, this needs to be said right now, to everyone. I don't care what your beliefs are, I don't care who you know, I don't care what gender you are, what age you are, what your job is, etc. I don't care about ANY of that stuff! You have NO right, to take advantage of the vulnerable, or stick up for those who do, for your own disgusting personal gain! This isn't a matter of the recent Hollywood scandal, or any specific scandal, this is about a virus Satan has been spreading around underneath our willfully ignorant noses, and it needs to be stopped NOW! Church people, Christians, I DEMAND as a fellow Christian, that you start taking your beliefs about defending the vulnerable and weak seriously. The world is watching how we treat those very people, young and old. If Hollywood is doing a better job taking down and separating themselves from predators... This isn't only embarrassing, this is disgusting, shameful, and SINFUL! Church, God does not NEED YOU to defend his reputation! He doesn't NEED YOU for anything! And he does NOT offer forgiveness willy nilly to just anyone! People are ONLY given forgiveness when they REPENT! When they genuinely show they're sorry not just through their words but their actions! I don't care if the abuser is a pastor or elder or anything. If you have evidence that they abused, they need to be removed from their post and be kept far away as possible from people they can abuse until they can show themselves trustworthy. And I have the BIBLE to back me up on this! The fact of the matter is, as much as we would like to believe otherwise, there are evil people in this world. Evil people who do not have a conscience. No matter how bad someone's past may have been, people CHOOSE to abuse! And they DO NOT have my sympathy! In fact, I'd like to quote now from a person who can say it much better than I can. Seriously, if I could, I would make you read this post until you finish reading it, because this. is. serious. Does it seem harsh or un-Christian-like to you to refer to a child rapist as a pervert and a dirtbag? Or to call someone who would terrorize her own 2-year-old to the point that he can't catch his breath and is gasping for air, and then laugh at his panic, a sadist and a sociopath? Or to call a mother who stays married to the pedophile who raped her child, fails to do anything to protect that child, and then tops it all off by babysitting OTHER PEOPLE'S children and leaving them alone with the pervert so he can (and did) rape THEM too, a lowlife who belongs in the cell next to him? Is calling a baby-killer a "murderer" going to hurt his poor widdle feelings? Is there even a name bad enough, or should I say "descriptive" enough, to call a mother who would set up her own child to be raped repeatedly by her husband, to keep him from focusing his attention on HER? What about a father who pimps out his children to his friends for money and beer? Or the jackass who has a fight with his girlfriend and then beats their 5-week old baby to death for spite, to get back at her? Or the parents who lock their child in a room for seven years, make her use a litter box for a bathroom, and starve her so badly that she weighs only 35 pounds when she finally dies? Hey, they are what they are. I'm not here to help them feel good about themselves. Seriously, what else would you call them? What would be the politically correct way to refer to scum like this? "Slightly irresponsible"? "Child torture-challenged"? "Having low self-esteem which results in unintentional acting-out of their frustrations and beating the baby"? "Having boundary issues with sexually touching children"? "Being a little temperamental, sometimes resulting in accidentally going too far and killing a child"? Oh, puleeze. Enough, already. Someone who LIKES to see pain and gets their pleasure by making a helpless victim suffer is a SADIST. That's the definition of the word "sadist."A person who remorselessly and brutally inflicts his malice and violence on an innocent target, has absolutely no conscience or compassion about it, and in fact often then tries to use what he did to elicit sympathy for HIMSELF, is a SOCIOPATH. That’s what a sociopath IS. No, really. Look it up. Let's not disrespect the victims and minimize their experiences and pain by making up more pleasant sounding euphemisms to cover up their abusers' true natures. That sends a false message to victims and to the world, that what was done to them wasn't really so bad. But it WAS, so let's stop beating around the bush. Let's stand up and make our disapproval of and contempt for their abusers loud and clear. Tell it like it is. Jesus certainly didn't pull any punches when he called the Pharisees just about every name there was in the book at the time. Hypocrites, snakes, brood of vipers, unclean, greedy, whitewashed tombs full of dead men's bones, blind fools, full of wickedness, sons of hell (Matthew 23:13-33). He used the strongest possible language of his day to denounce them. He made an example of them. He spoke, not just directly to the Pharisees, but for the benefit of everyone else within earshot. Do you think the people who heard him got his point? Evil is evil. It is never un-Christian-like to tell the truth, nor is it un-Christian-like to use strong language when you tell it. This is not a subject we need to be wishy-washy, calm, or easy-going about. We don't need to phrase it kindly lest we insult a dirtbag or offend his partners-in-crime. Using strong language to describe abusers and their enablers serves a purpose. It gets people's attention. It underscores for them just how disgusting, shameful, and, yes, EVIL, the behavior of these so-called "parents" is, and how disgusting, shameful, and EVIL the parents themselves are. It says if you protect an abuser by tolerating or minimizing abuse, then YOU are just as guilty as he is. It brings things that are often hushed-up or whispered about out into the open, and gives others the courage to stand up and tell it like it is, too. It makes a big deal out of something that many people would just as soon pretend isn’t happening or isn’t really that bad. It makes it UNACCEPTABLE to ACCEPT abuse. It drives home the point that abuse, and enabling abuse, is NOT "accidental." It is NOT something "they can’t help." It is NOT a "mistake" or a "misunderstanding." It is DESPICABLE. It is INTENTIONAL, DELIBERATE, and supremely SELFISH. Abusers victimize others to get their own needs met, and their enablers allow it, and even encourage it, to make their own lives easier and to get their own needs met. It's a sick, twisted dynamic. And they continue until they are exposed, or better yet, arrested. They continue until the silence is broken. They continue until we stop circumventing the issues, coddling them, walking on eggshells around them, and talking about them in nice, mild, smiley-face terms - terms that are vague, deceptive, and fail to present the TRUE picture and emphasize the gravity of it to the listener. It's not OUR fault if the truth is ugly. They continue until they are embarrassed and shamed. Until someone stands up and shouts the truth about them from the rooftops. They continue until the people who know them stop sugar-coating their behavior, sweeping it under the rug, and making excuses for them, and start looking at them with the appropriate revulsion and loathing. They continue until nobody wants to be associated with them anymore, until others start avoiding them like the plague, and warning everybody else to stay away, too. In the Bible, this is referred to as "shunning," and it’s meant to produce shame and repentance. They continue until it gets through, not just to them, but to everyone around them, that what they are doing is WRONG, wicked, evil, and bad, bad, bad. Until we make our opinions of their behavior so crystal clear that there can be no mistaking our repulsion and condemnation for anything even slightly milder. They continue until we start forcing them to OWN what they are: degenerate, sadistic, sociopathic, psychopathic, lowlife, dirtbags. As for me, believe it or not, I do try to tone it down a bit. Imagine what my ramblings would sound like if I didn't! My calling as a Christian is to minister to the VICTIMS, not the abusers. Victims need to know that other people support them and agree that what was done to them was terrible, and that the lowlifes who did it are terrible. Survivors need to know that we validate them and their experiences. I'm here to help victims heal, to give them a voice, a nice, BIG voice. Not to help abusers gloss over, justify and feel okay with, or even good about, what they've done. Abusers don't deserve the privilege of being able to walk among the rest of us with their heads held high. I believe in letting the dirtbags live with the consequences of their own actions - including shame, embarrassment, and the disgust of good people everywhere. That's the way God made me. And I believe in keeping it up, relentlessly, until MAYBE, just maybe, they'll repent of their evil ways, turn to the Lord, and be saved. There you have it. Now tell me I'm not the only one who's willing to say all this. Hate is not the opposite of Love. The opposite of Love is indifference, passivity. I take this seriously because God takes this seriously. I hate sexual immorality, but I hate hypocrites even more. We need to show this is NOT okay, no matter who does it, and it never WILL be okay. And let me tell you, if I ever come across something like this in my church... There. is. going. to. be. HELL. to. pay.
  4. Real Forgiveness

    Biblically speaking, NO ONE gets forgiven without changing his ways and turning to God and godliness. The New Testament includes an additional requirement for meriting forgiveness - accepting Jesus as one's Lord and Savior (and no one who has genuinely done that can continue abusing others). Abusers would just love an excuse to obligate us to forgive them without the slightest effort to make amends, commitment to change, or anything expected of them at all. It's the Abuser's Dream Gig - to be able to commit one evil deed after another with impunity, and then pervert the Word of God by claiming that others have to repeatedly and unconditionally forgive her. This is utter nonsense.
  5. Real Forgiveness

    Have Christians today forgotten what real forgiveness is? It seems so, because for one thing, one reason abuse is so widely spread in our churches is because we have a faulty understanding of what forgiveness actually is. Apparently, being accountable for your actions is not a good message. Forgiveness is not an excuse for someone to keep behaving badly with no consequences. Forgiveness requires genuine repentance and desire to change on the abuser's part.
  6. Lonely and Broken

    Thanks. I'm hoping to look for a church soon.
  7. Lonely and Broken

    Yes. Thank you.
  8. Lonely and Broken

    Thank you. I have told my mom and another person how I've felt. But nothing's changed. Nothing I've done in the past few years has changed. I've prayed again and again for relief, but nothing has happened. The following words aren't my own, but they express perfectly how I feel. Of course, most Christians will tell you, that all good things come from above, so no matter what, it's always God's hand, his handiwork. I don't buy it -- it seems like an excuse to cover for unanswered prayer, or lack of divine intervention. God is nowhere to be found. It is no consolation to know that he is there "watching" me suffer. Would it help "anyone" to know that God was there while they were being "burned alive?" Would God's merely "being there" as you "burned," alleviate the pain? I cannot even muster up the motivation to spend time with God, anymore than a prisoner of North Korea could find the emotion in his heart to show outward deference to the Communist Party. Though his life would be in jeopardy; he does not have the strength-of-heart- to even be coyly subservient.Having a relationship with God is like having a written-correspondence relationship with a stranger who lives on another continent 3000 miles away. There is just not connection emotionally, because people cannot bond by sending letters back-and-forth. We need more tangible connections and intimacy. God gave Adam a women so that he would not be "alone." Adam, it seems was not satisfied with God "alone" otherwise what need could Eve ever satisfy, if God filled the void in Adams life completely? So yeah, I'm more of the opinion that God may love us, but not in the way we think he does. He seems more concerned with our afterlife than the life we have now. Well, if this whole life is supposed to be some sort of boot camp, then I don't want any part of it.
  9. Lonely and Broken

    God claimed it was not good for man to be alone,Yet He seems to have claimed it to be good for me.He has given me a fireplace, but no fire.A home, but full of people who don’t know me.A desire for touch, for intimacy, but no fulfillment of it.There is no warmth in my fireplace, only freezing cold.Not even ashes, just ice.Every day, I struggle to bring just a little warmth to it.Only to have even the smallest flame extinguished by the end of the day.Through fatigue, shyness, a weariness of a life without promise of what matters most.God has promised to carry me through these difficulties.But I’ve yet to see them pass. Love is pain, they say.Still, He may do what He wants, because what I want doesn’t matter.All that matters is His will, one I’m not required to like.He has been pleased to break me. He has been pleased to promise me something I don’t want. He has been pleased to see me walk alone.
  10. Lonely and Broken

    I'm a young woman in my early twenties with high-functioning autism. I've been raised in a Christian family who loves me very much, and I've been a Christian for five years. But those last five years have not been good to me. For most of my life, anyway, I've been very lonely. I don't have great social skills and am very shy. I also suffer from chronic fatigue. I've tried to make friends as an adult but they've never gone anywhere. Now that I'm really lonely, I also struggle with sexual temptation. I've never been in a relationship, viewed porn, or even had sex. But I'm tired of trying to be a "good Christian girl." I've also in recent months have had thoughts of suicide. I guess I just want attention, but I don't even feel worthy of that.