mayfield

Thank you, thank you for your insight. What you've said make sense to me and it sits right with me. I continue praying for God to show us the way and the wisdom for us to hear Him.

I appreciate your insights. My posts have digressed a bit. I came here not seeking marital advice but thoughts on how to overcome my inner struggles and to see if any Christians have done infertility treatments. I realize this is a joint decision that my husband and I need to make together. I don't know if we will ever see eye to eye on this issue but I am hopeful that a professional intermediary will help us come to a decision that we can both live with. Thanks to all who have responded.

Thank you, Esther, for your kind words. I agree we need more time to discuss it (in counseling or with our Pastor ideally) and to reflect prayerfully but we may not have much time. I went through my cancer diagnosis and treatment last year at age 31. My husband and I were trying to conceive when my doctor found a malignant tumor. Treatment ended 6 months ago and I am currently cancer free (praise God!) but still healing emotionally. There is a possibility that I will go into menopause any day now and stop producing eggs. This race against time has been clouding my mind and adding to our stress. My husband is scheduled to deploy overseas next spring so now is not the best time to grow our family anyway. Has anyone here adopted an infant domestically?

Thanks for your response. My husband is also a believer so I was very surprised that he didn't take issue with surrogacy or IVF. Is there any ambiguity on this? My heart hurts. I don't wish to disobey God nor do I want to disappoint my husband. Either way, I am filled with guilt and self loathing. What if this decision results in ending our marriage? I am trying to surrender my fears to God but have not succeeded.

Hi Jayne, Thank you so much for your kind response. I appreciate you sharing your story. It helps to know there are others who have felt this incredible pain and overcome it. I have turned to God's word and found a few passages related to infertility, which does give me some comfort. After my diagnosis, my oncology team told us with certainty that I could never carry a child. I mourned this loss and cried out to God everyday. It was around the time that I started to accept my infertility that my oncologist suggested IVF using my own eggs and husband's sperm due to the fact that I'm miraculously still menstruating (a medical mystery). A small part of me wonders if this could be part of God's plan after I prayed so hard for a child. I could see if we can limit the number of embryos but even so, there is a high chance that my radiated uterus will not be able to support a pregnancy and result in a miscarriage. I am consumed with guilt at the thought. Another question I am struggling with: Do I owe it to my husband to pursue this? I know that our spouses come second only to God and I take great care to nurture my marriage. I can't blame my husband for wanting biological children and I feel guilty for depriving him (and his parents) of that. When I was ill, he was my caregiver- he took me to my appointments, sat with me through 4 hours of chemo and 6 hours of radiation, picked up my prescriptions, and took care of me at home, all the while working full time. I feel indebted to him and would do anything for him. I am so confused.

Hi, I am nervous to post this here but here we go. I am 32 years old and a cancer survivor. Being diagnosed with cancer and underdoing treatment at my age was incredibly hard but the worst part was learning that treatment would leave me infertile. I felt broken, worthless and ashamed for a long time but eventually, God and my church healed me physically and emotionally. For a while, I thought my purpose was to adopt. My husband however kept pushing for surrogacy. Recently my oncologist suggested implanting an embryo in my uterus. This in itself is a miracle as we were expecting my menstrual cycles to end after radiation therapy to my pelvis. However, I am riddled with guilt and confusion. I feel strongly that this particular form of infertility treatment would be disobeying God- creating and ending human life in the form of embryos. Yet, the hope of possibly carrying a pregnancy to term is so great- my single greatest wish in this world. Could someone please offer any advice? I pray for an answer everyday.