BK1110

Sister, you are ever in my prayers. As you said, you are trying! Do not discount that as being a glorifying testimony to your faith in God. Even in these incredible trials, you know His will, you desire His will, you are fighting tooth and nail to stick to His will, resisting the devil telling you to give up, resisting the evil one's temptation to end your life before God is ready for it to end. You are fighting hard. You are a warrior. The devil has not defeated you. You are standing for God's truth and His will. Do not think for a minute that God is not very pleased about your show of faith in this time of great darkness in your life. God is allowing the devil to test you, and so far, you have not given in. You have not let the devil convince you to distrust God, you have not let him to convince you to orphan your precious children. You are an inspiration to me (and I imagine everyone else here). When I think of the struggles in attitude I have had at times over the past few months and days with the stress of moving, despite it being nowhere near your level of stress, I can only stand in awe of your faith. I hope one day to grow to be able to fight as hard and as successfully as you have been. Do not hold in those tears. "JESUS WEPT" (John 11:35) Did you get that? Let me say it again. "JESUS WEPT" (John 11:35) Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, very God of very God, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, Light of the world, Prince of peace...he wept! Your tears are not shameful. They are not weak. They are not displeasing to your loving Father in heaven. And guess what the very next verse says: "So the Jews said, 'See how he loved him!'" (John 11:36) Jesus wept openly, in front of others, in front of his disciples, in front of believers, in front of non-believers! Do not be ashamed of your tears. Do not hide them. Do not hide your pain. Do not think it makes you weak or a failure of a Christian. Do not hesitate to keep seeking help. God is not finished with you yet!

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses." -- Psalm 25:16-17 Lot of stress and uncertainty about my short term and long term future with the move across the country my family is going through, and worrying for my family's salvation. These verses are precious.

I can't read through all 26 pages of this thing, so forgive me if I repeat others. I think the old Leviticus passage is Mosaic Law that is no longer binding. I think this means it is not an outright, definite sin, at least. More of a matter of conscience. There are some things we should not do because they could affect our witness, even if they in-and-of-themselves are not sins. For example, if I were going to be a witness in the nation of Japan, where there is still a very strong negative cultural perception of tattoos due to their usage by the Japanese mafia (Yakuza), it could very much affect my ability to be a witness to those people to get a tattoo. To get one then would be unloving, as I would be placing my own desire for a tattoo above what is needed to show love to others in sharing the gospel as effectively as I can. However, on the other side of things, I just recently read a passage I had not taken notice of before: "Paul came also to Derbe and to Lystra. A disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. He was well spoken of by the brothers at Lystra and Iconium. Paul wanted Timothy to accompany him, and he took him and circumcised him because of the Jews who were in those places, for they all knew that his father was a Greek." (Acts 16:1-3) Look at that! Paul himself, the one who openly rebuked Peter when Peter was wavering towards the Jews who were insisting on circumcision, actually had Timothy circumcised! Despite being the one who most vehemently opposed the circumcision crowd, and went to great lengths in his teachings and letters to tell people that they were no longer under that commandments. Why? He did it specifically to remove anything that could have caused the Jews to reject them off-hand. He actually had Timothy undergo a permanent, painful, bloody modification to his body, even though it was not required, for the sake of making sure Timothy could reach the people he would be witnessing to. Could I see a Christian who is going to be witnessing to a certain people group, whether a tribe in some jungle or members of some subculture, who think tattoos are great, getting a tattoo to help them reach out to those folks with the gospel? Hmmmmm.............. I think people considering tattoos should think/pray long and hard about their motivations.

You can tell her honestly, if she does ask, that you confide about your troubles with fellow believers for comfort and advise. You do not need to go any deeper or more detailed than that; if she asks, you can simply decline to answer further. You do not owe her any deeper answer. Something came to mind that might help, at least in some small part: remember that forgiving someone is about whether you hold a grudge against them, whether you demand "payment" from them. It does not mean you simply forget who they are or what they've done, or act as though they are not who they are. It means you no longer consider them in debt against you. You can do this without trying in vain to wish away feelings. What she is doing to you is sin. She is sinning against you. Imagine if this sin were something that is considered sin even more, like physical violence. You would be required to forgive her of that, but would you feel guilty if, even while forgiving, you took steps to protect yourself from further physical violence? Would you think it was your Christian duty to continue to allow her free reign to assault you each day and not protect yourself? Probably not. So yes, forgive. But there is nothing wrong or sinful about you privately, mentally wishing to be free of a person's sinning against you. I do not think it is sinful that your heart sinks when she shows up. It is not her herself that you wish to be rid of, it is her sinning against you that you wish to be rid of. God forgives us of our sins, but only because Jesus has paid the price for them. The sins themselves DO get paid for. They are not handwaved as though they never happened. It is right to hate and loath and want to be free from sin, both yours and other's. That shows you treat sin as seriously as God does.

Admit that you can't. Come to God as a little child, which you are to Him. Admit that you have no power of your own to hold yourself back. Pray for His strength to enter you. We are asking for a miracle here...but it is a miracle God has promised to us: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.” -- John 14:15-17

Praying for strength from God to keep it together. May I advise you to pray to God to help you battle the sins of gossip and bitterness? Being around her must make it so hard. Rely on God's strength to see your heart and mind through these trials.

True Christians cannot be demon possessed. Why do you think you might be? It is normal to go through seasons of struggle, seasons of feeling more distant or more close to God. We will not be perfectly committed and together with God until our sin natures are removed from us in the next life. Do you attend a local gathering of true believers for teaching and fellowship?

Without getting into specifics, may I suggest that if you feel distant from God, ask Him to close that gap? Admit your own inability to feel and desire as you should, and ask Him to change your heart and mind by His power, for the sake of His glory.

Part of the purpose of marriage is to image the relationship between Christ and the church (his bride) to your surrounding community. I would encourage you to consider whether you can accomplish this mandate through living together without being legally married. In what way would you be imaging something different and better than a couple who has no intention to marry and is just living in a sinful relationship?

Unless you are getting a strong, consistent leading of the Spirit that a certain something you are praying for should no longer be prayed for (like if God is telling you clearly that the answer is no and you need to move on), I would continue praying for it. This assuming that the thing in question you are praying for was something right to be praying for in the first place (I.E. not winning the lottery or something bad happening to someone else etc.)

Some of mine: Desiring God, Mike Winger, Reasons To Believe, Cross Examined, Cold-Case Christianity, Sean McDowell

This page, while not claiming to know for certain, breaks down why this is not an impossibility. https://arkencounter.com/animals/how-many/

Praying for you. Romans 8 is one of the more powerful/important/famous etc. chapters in the Bible. This section may be of some help: "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." -- Romans 8:26-28 Look at that! God doesn't just ask us to pray, and he doesn't even stop with knowing that we are imperfect in our prayers. Knowing that we many times don't even know how to pray, the Holy Spirit Himself, dwelling inside of us, prays on our behalf! God Himself prays for us to God Himself, on a level so deep that human words could never communicate so powerfully. And these prayers are always according to the will of God, and that will, that purpose, is always for our good. Aside from our salvation, is there any better news than this in the Bible? Try praying something like this: "Father, I am at my wit's end in this situation. But in just these three verses, you have told me the following: everything I am suffering now is being used by you for MY GOOD, and even though I do not know how to even pray about it, I know that the Holy Spirit is interceding on my behalf! I praise you an thank you for that glorious, comforting truth, and I pray that your will continues to be done in this situation, and that you give me the wisdom and strength to do or no do whatever it is that will please you in this situation."

Glad to be of any small help. Will pray for you. God has good purposes for all trials and sufferings we go through. Perhaps due to your difficult childhood, you will be able to grow to love and appreciate God as a Father on levels deeper and more wonderful than those of us who were blessed with good parents and so too easily take it for granted!

Our purpose is to glorify God in all we do. When we come to him with our problems, little or big, we are coming in humility, admitting that He is God and we need and desire Him in all aspects of our life. When we come to Him, fully trusting Him to hear even our smallest prayers, we are letting Him know that we understand and appreciate that He is omnipotent and omniscient (He knows what is best in all situations, and He has limitless power to hear and answer ALL the prayers of ALL the people in the world). We are letting Him know that there is no area, large or small, of our hearts and lives that we do not seek His aid and His guidance and His glory. We come to Him in childlikeness, total dependence, as Jesus commanded. Do you remember this short episode? Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away. -- Matthew 19:13-15 Now you would never hinder a child coming to their father, right? Why would you then hinder yourself coming to your heavenly Father? Meditate on what it means to be the child of a Father of infinite love and power; how strongly does He desire you to come to Him at all times and for every need of yours? Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. -- Romans 12:12 Be constant in prayer. Constant! This may also help, sister: https://ofthehearth.com/praying-about-the-little-things/