Hello
Two years ago I came to god in the most amazing way, I was depressed and suicidal then one day I had a vision of Jesus so powerful I gave my life to him on the spot and had an amazing experience that I now know is being filled with the holy spirit. Ever since I have been a changed person, I think differently and feel differently and have nothing but love for all people.
Becoming a Christian was great and everyone in my life was very supportive, and I loved expanding my knowledge of God reading the bible etc. However a few months in to this bliss things changed, God led me away from what I was doing and down another path which I'd rather not go into detail on. People would try to convince me it wasn't God and eventually I ended up having mental health workers visiting me etc, and right every aspect of my life is in shambles and I'm just as depressed as I was before I even met God.
Throughout this whole time I have loved God and done everything I can in every moment to do what I felt he wanted me to do, to follow him and be obedient. My question is, how can I continue to believe and follow when nothing I believe he has told me is coming to pass and everything in my life is worse than ever, and it's been progressively getting worse over the past two years that I've done nothing but try to be who God wants me to be and do what he wants me to do.
My faith has shrunken to nearly nothing and I simply still believe Jesus is real and is there with me, but it's like he doesn't want me and is pushing me away to unbelief. Why would he want me and my family to suffer so much and for so long, and do nothing to help. It just doesn't make sense and doesn't seem like the God I thought I knew.
Guess I'm just after some kind of encouragement to keep my faith alive