Sum1

Hi da_man1974, I dunno if you've already made your decision or not, but I hope this will be helpful. Speaking from personal experience, it is quite important how your kids feel. I think it should definitely be one of the factors in the making of your decision. I myself am a teenager, and I know what its like to dislike going to church. My experience also had to do with lacking friends at the church I was going to. There was nothing wrong with the church itself, I just didn't wanna be there and that turned into a negativity, that after a while, I began associating with that church. In hindsight, I see that the reason why I was disliking that church and being negative, was bcuz I wasn't "happy". From my perspective then, I needed something particularly to be happy, and (maybe as a teen way of complaining??? I dunno…) I started being negative bcuz I couldn't get that thing. How was it solved? After a few months (not as a result of my complaining) I got the thing I wanted and I was "happy". So, I guess what u need to do is either find out what they need to be happy, and/or help change their perspective on what will make them happy, then fulfil that one. I realize its not really possible to make evry1 happy, but if u can at least get them satisfied with hope that they will be happy later, then I think that might do it. Your decision obviously shouldn't revolve around what your kids are gonna feel, but it should definitely be taken into consideration. And whatever u decide, u could still visit the other church once in a while. I hope this will be helpful.

Hi Annika, For me personally, I don't really like Harry Potter, but I don't dislike him either. I've seen a couple of the movies, but I haven't read any of the books. Anyway, I enjoyed every second of reading your "wall of text" and I think you have quite a lot of good points in there too

Hi Kwik, I didn't actually say it was my dad's phone, actually, I got my first phone in January (explains my familiarity) but then something happened in July and dad took my phone, that's the phone I was talking about… And please, be as blunt and harsh as u need to be, don't worry about offending me, I won't take offense coz I know ur just tryna help, and I'm very appreciative and thankful for that As I said b4, I don't hate my dad so much anymore, in fact, generally speaking, I've been hating or feeling hate less, which is a good thing. Here's a good example: 66 and a half days ago, I got attacked by some crazy guy (seemed like he was a little drunk too) and he hit me over the head with a steel rod, and for the next almost 2 weeks, every moment that I wasn't intentionally thinking about something, my mind would just automatically go to thinking about that guy, how I shoulda beat him up, trashed his motorcycle, or what I'd do next time I saw him, thinkin all these things in a very hateful way. (This event was part of the reason why dad took my phone) Anyway, just last night, I finally saw him again, and he looked right at me at least twice, and it seemed like he didn't recognize me ( I guess he was REALLY drunk that night). And when I saw him, I didn't feel any hate towards him at all, I didn't feel anything towards him at all… I'm not really sure why… Anyway, I'm tryna focus on Him, to fix my eyes on Him, coz I wanna know His voice, I wanna, like u said, not only just know ABOUT Him, I wanna KNOW Him, and know Him intimately. Again thank u so much for your efforts in trying to help me, I don't deserve it

Thank you Steven, Willa and BK1110

You're right Willa, life is full of choices, and I don't wanna continue making bad ones. I'm sick of being the way I am, and I wanna change, I don't wanna be like my dad, I wanna be like Jesus. I've decided yesterday, not that I'm gonna try, but that I am going to live for Him. And you're right Steven, I can't let external things be an excuse, it's a choice. So I'm sick of being the way I am, and I wanna change, I don't wanna be like my dad, I wanna be like Jesus. I've decided yesterday, that I'm going to follow Him. I wanna have the mindset that I will follow Him, but right now my mindset is stuck on 'I'll try to'… and my desire to know Him isn't that big, its not passionate, actually I've never been passionate about anything really, but I want to have that passionate desire to know Him more… I hope someone will be praying for me, but I won't be disappointed if no one does

lol… neither do I… hahahah

Did I post in the seekers lounge?

I was trying to post something that would take too long to type in one go, so decided to type it offline then copy and paste it in when I'm done typing it up, but when I tried, I found that u can't paste anything anywhere on worthy, so I pasted into and attached a doc, but I tried viewing it and couldn't, so I thought others wouldn't be able to either… so edited this to nothing coz I didn't know how to delete it, and reluctantly, I typed it all up again while online at: outer court > have a problem? Looking for advice? > Finding Life in Him

Thank u Willa for your post… I think this might help, but there's still the issue of my relationship with God… I don't really believe IN Him, and I don't really know why or how to…

I've seen that show, the nanny, man, the state of the kids b4 the nanny showed up was unbelievable…

I don't know…

???

First, thank u for replying to my post… I'm gonna use numbers to indicate which part of what u said I am referring to, so when u see a number, u can see how it corresponds with what u said. (1) I know I'm not his judge, but I made a decision a long time ago to hate him, and I dunno how to change that. I already said I wanna forgive him, so u don't need to tell me reasons why I should forgive him. (2) I hope I can do that at some point in the future, but I'm not there yet, I'm not ready. Right now, I can't do that. (3) again, no need to give me reasons for why I should forgive him, I already said I want to. I don't needa know why I should, I already know, I needa know how. (4) I dunno why u say that I'm a Christian, I thought I made it clear in my OP that I'm not. I know He is the truth, but I don't really believe (5) that's another problem, surrendering to Him, I'm not sure how to do that either, I mean, it's more than just choosing His life over mine isn't it? (6) you make it sound like it's a bad thing that I said anything… what was I supposed to do, go on not talking to any1? (7) I know, this already, Jesus said if u refuse to forgive others, God won't forgive you. (8) I know Jesus can restore these things, but I don't really care right now, I don't care if He restores him or our relationship, first thing is that I'm right with Him, and I'm not there yet. Thank u for trying to help…

I have a problem, and I don't know how to deal with it. That is that I hate my dad and I dunno how to 4giv him, and this hatred consumes me all the time. There's a few reasons why I hate him, the main ones being that he continually shows through his actions (or rather inaction) how much he doesn't care about me and my sibs; and that he's a hypocrite. Basically, he chose to homeschool prolly b4 we were born, but he really limited what mom could do, and he didn't do much himself, we can't even have or use a computer. I have to sneak around just to use this phone. Bottom line, I'm turning 19 in a few weeks, and I have less academic knowledge than a 6th or 7th grader, and same for my sibs. And my dad, it's like he doesn't care what happens as long as we're under his control… and he hardly ever does anything productive, most of the time, unless he has to see someone, he'll just sleep all day, and watch TV and play games on his phone all night. And he says he wants things to change, but he's been saying that for years, and he never does anything, all his guarantees and words and assurances have all come to nothing, his words mean nothing to me anymore. And I say he's a hypocrite coz he claims he's a Christian, but he sure doesn't live like one… but he's got evry1 at church fooled, to a certain degree anyway, I mean, his easily-angerable-ness is obvious, but no one really knows about his life outside church, and of course, that's just the way he wants it. There's this other afternoon church we started going to a couple months ago, and as far as I can see, the only reason we're going there is bcoz they let dad sing upfront on stage no-questions-asked, just coz he has a 'good voice' (and a 'convincing story' about how he came here as a missionary) and that just infuriates me. And whenever he's up, at our usual morning church or this other one, he actually acts like he means what he's singing, all hands in the air and everything… he's full of garbage… There's been plenty of times I just wanted to talk to someone, but I was afraid that if dad found out that I had told someone something about him that he didn't want known, he would make us stop going to that church, coz he'd threatened that b4… and I didn't wanna risk it coz we're homeschooled, so that's the only place where I really know any1 (not that I really know any1 in close way, coz I can't tell them much about myself coz pretty much everything leads back to something about dad)… I'm prolly blaming for a lot more than is due him, but there is a lot that is not being conveyed here. Anyway, I wanna forgive him, not bcoz I wanna, but just bcoz I'm sick of hating, being filled with hate, but I've tried and I just dunno how… I do hate him less now than I did b4, but that's only bcoz there's a person I hate more than him now… myself… in all this time I've been focusing on him and hating him, I haven't seen that I'm becoming just like him, and now, a lot of the things I hate him for, I also do myself… I'm disgusted at myself, I hate myself for every part of me that is anything like him, one of the biggest is that I also have done nothing about the situation. Things have been the way they are for WAY too long, and it just feels like nothings ever gonna change, like he's never gonna change, so now, I'm pretty much living, no, surviving, hopelessly. I'm so sick of how pessimistic and negative I am all the time. And like, nothing even makes me wanna get up in the mornings anymore… I know I should pray about all these things, for my heart to be changed, for my dad, for my family, for the situation, but I feel like its pointless if I don't even believe I am saved. Up until almost a year ago, I did believe I was saved though, but I was deceiving myself, I saw what I wanted to see, but then I started seeing things how they really were. I've got problems just like evry1 else does, but any problems in this life are only minor, they pale in comparison with the major problem that every person starts with, being sinful and imperfect. And I'm pretty darn sure i still have that major problem, I don't have a personal relationship with Christ. And I don't even have a desire to. But I want to have that desire, coz I know that I need Him. And I've prayed the prayer more times than I can count, but I never change, I never let go. Clearly I don't really mean it in my heart. The only prayer i ever really pray now is: 'I need u Jesus, help me surrender to u and let go of everything else." When I prat this, its the only time I feel sincere, like I mean it, but everything else always feels fake and insincere. But I'm such a hypocrite… I tell Jesus almost every day that i need Him and I can't go on living like this without Him, but I never do anything about it… it seems like I know that I need Him, that He is the truth, and the Word is the truth, but I just don't believe it, or maybe i just don't care enough to do anything about it, and every1 knows dead faith is useless… I dunno, maybe I just dunno how to believe, how to trust, how to have faith… I'm such an idiot… I really needa get rid of this unforgiveness, bitterness and hatred, coz I feel like it's (at least seemingly) holding me back from going anywhere with Christ. Apart from Him I am nothing… I need help, I dunno what to do… I hope someone can advise, encourage, pray, correct, counsel, etc.

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