I was raised in a Christian home and up until this point have considered myself to have strict Christian values.
As of late, I have begun dating my first boyfriend. Before, I had no contact whatsoever with boys outside of innocent friendships. He is a pretty good guy. He too was raised in church, and often urges me to attend church more often on days when I think I'm too tired. I will admit, he is not perfect. His language slips every now and then, but I do know he has a brain in his head and Jesus in his heart.
Before I had the chance, he looked me in the eye and told me he would not have sexual relations with me until marriage. I, of course, agreed in relief immediately. We have lived up to this promise up to this point and plan to continue to do so in the future.
This is all peaches and cream until you bring my parents into this. His parents are cool with him dating me, and so is my dad, although he is nervous about his little girl having a boyfriend. They are all good with it. My mom, however, absolutely refuses to even think about the matter. She won't even meet him because she does not want him around me. When I told her he asked me out, she yelled at me about being too young to think for myself, and definitely being too young for the kind of committed relationship he was asking for. I told my boyfriend about this and he assured me he would wait until my mother allows me to date him.
When I told him that I will probably have to be a legal adult or older, he was not fazed. However, we see each other every day (we both run track and cross country) and have begun to grow closer again. He has kissed me a few times, but neither of my parents know this.
Last week, one of my girlfriends asked me to to to homecoming. She assured me that if my boyfriend asks me to go with him, we can have my mom believe that I am still going with her. Now, he asked me to go to homecoming with him. He brought me flowers, which I did not bring home (and now I am afraid to throw them away when they wilt because he will see) because I do not want my mom knowing.
Next week is homecoming. I went shopping all day with my mother for a homecoming dress. All day the guilt has been eating away at me.
I know what I am doing is wrong. I know it is wrong to disobey my parents. He reminded me today that we cannot keep sneaking around because it is wrong. But I cannot tell my mom; I am so scared of her. I know she will be angry and yell at me. (This is not an assumption because although I have never given her a reason to be that angry, my dad delivered me home at 8:30 instead of 8 [which is as late as I am allowed to stay out at high school football games and such; I was never allowed to even go to them before I played in the band] and she was very angry with me. It was snowing but she walked out on the porch and cussed me out for being home late. I tried to tell her that one of our girls at youth group was crying so as a youth leader, I was asked to pray over her with the group, but she refused to take my answer. If she was that angry when I came home late due to an overlong prayer, I am positively scared of what she will say to this.)
The entire cross country team knows we are dating (even the other mothers!) but all of them are working together to keep our relationship a secret. If something slips and my mom finds out, she will be angry. She will be angry both ways and I know this.
I know I cannot keep this up. I have never disobeyed and lied to my parents this way. I really need some Christian advice. I need help and I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is the only Christian friend I have but I want to hear fresh opinions on this matter. Please help me, I am desperate and the guilt of not telling the whole truth is killing me.
I am also confused on what to do about the fact that my dad is okay with me dating this boy but my mother is not. (They are together, not divorced. Just a clarification.)
We are also both 15, so you can get a feel for our ages. I an a sophomore and he is a freshman.
Thank you so much in advance. God Bless
