I have a boyfriend of two years. On our first year, we were together working away from our homes. We lived together by ourselves on the first month, 2nd to 6th month we had separate apartments and from 6th til our 14th month, we lived together again with another friend. Til one day my father got sick and I needed to go home. We had an LDR for a year til June 2016, his father died. He had a complicated relationship with his father. They fought a lot and never patched up until his last week at the hospital. Although we were fighting a lot, i went to the funeral and spent the 4 days with him. He even introduced me to his whole clan. Until 2 weeks after the funeral, we had a small fight and he never talked to me for 10 days. I initiated contact and he said he doesnt love me anymore. I left him alone for 1 month then again initiated contact and got the same answer. He really doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t see me in his future. Again after two months, i initiated contact again and still got the same answer however he kept on blaming me that I never made him happy during our relationship, that he was happier before he met me, he got sick and tired of me always complaining and whining ( complaining about my family, finances & work cause my life is somehow stressful at the time i was with him) and that i choose to sleep rather than talk to him when we fight about little things. He blamed me for everything and said it’s too late for me. and the last thing he said was “please have some respect, I haven’t forgiven myself because of my father, don’t bother me”…. I know he’s still grieving and depressed but all that he said affected me so much and made me question whether what we had was real and even makes me hate myself. I may have took him for granted but I loved him with my all. I really dont want to lose him but it seems he shut me out of his life. Please help me. I pray night and day but i get so frustrated and depressed too. I want to comfort him and be there for him but he’s shutting me out. Please anybody, I don't really know what to do at this point. I have thought about our relationship and everything i did and i may have hurt him but unintentionally cause of how i deal with things. As a Christian, i was hypocritical. But now, all those wrong ive done i want to make right. im trying to be better. is there any more i can do to alleviate the pain of my ex or just be there for him? is there any way i can make it up to him? ive confessed all these things but the pain, guilt & regret just kills me.
