Jac

Amanda, all I can say is, there are no hard or fast rules in something like this. It is not about what he knew or you did not tell him. It is about unconditional love and unfortunately men, or women does not like to hear about past lovers, before or after the marriage. Many people have asked if they should tell a partner about the past and almost every time, depending on some real special circumstances I told them no. You as a new Christian should know that the past is the past and better left alone especially if you started a new life in Christ. The past has no relevance in love. When a couple start loving each other, it is a whole new life, but as soon as you divulge unsavory secrets from the past, you bring uncertainty into that new relationship because the human mind is unfortunately a very devious tool in conjuring up all kinds of vivid mental pictures and with that comes thoughts such as, "Will he or she do stuff like that again... How can I trust him or her?" It is also called jealousy (a tool Satan likes to use) and what makes it worse is when sometimes in the heat of the moment you throw something like these secrets in his or her face. So before you listen to well meaning opinions, ask yourself this question and be very honest about it, "Is my marriage worth fighting for, and do I love him enough to really ask his forgiveness in telling him about the secrets and to communicate my unconditional love for him?" You also have to get him to open up to you and tell you about his fears and then you both have to decide if your love for each other is stronger than the past, and then you both have to decide to close the book on it, but... also to communicate openly and calmly if ever it comes to mind again. A marriage is a holy contract before God, and each and every one of us has his or her baggage, but when you said for better or worse, you not only told each other that, you also told God that your commitment is total before Him. There will be many ups and downs in your marriage but if your commitment to each other is complete, you will be able to weather all storms. Believe me because I've been at it for more than 42 years, and many a time I had to eat humble pie, whether I knew I was right or not, because I knew it was worth it. I hope this will help you and if you wish to communicate some more, please feel free to do so and May God bless your marriage.

Hi there, I just want to ask you a few questions and you decide if you want to answer me. Who told you about the dangers of having an "impure heart"? Who told you that you must have a "pure thought" to be let into heaven? When did these "intrusive thoughts" start? Lastly, where did you learn that prayers have to be perfect? I really want to help you but the next step is yours. PM me if you really want help, and by the way... being forgiven and saved is not that hard unless you cannot forgive yourself. Let me know and God bless you

Twisty, unfortunately when we are at our most ardent in faith we are also at our most vulnerable, and that is when we are led astray, not by God but sometimes by our own sinful nature. We believe our faith is strong but it is usually there at the beginning of all the lovely feelings and the support that we fall the hardest. That is where our faith is tested, again not by God but usually by Satan and ourselves. If you read my profile you will see that I was abused as a child and the resultant stuff such as depression, nervous breakdowns (had my first at age 7), PTSD, etc... had me down many times, but the only place I knew I could find real love was with God because I definitely did not have it on earth as a child growing up. It is the getting up every time that makes us stronger in our faith because we know that God will take us back after every fall just because His love for us is totally unconditional, as long as we come back to Him and not expect Him to come back to us. Real faith is hard and it takes total discipline, utter belief, and unconditional love for Him who died for our sins. Nothing we suffer on earth can compare to the suffering and humiliation He had to endure for us. So don't depend on people and use faith as a crutch in times of despair but depend only on Him and believe that He loves you no matter what. Be strong and take care of yourself. God bless you

Hi Amanda, I do not really understand what you mean by the "scandal", I can only assume that you mean the sacrifice. The next thing you say is that you find guilt a constant "thing" in your life. The problem is that if we feel guilt it is usually because we know we are doing something wrong, and that ties in with the concept of the "clean slate". The clean slate only stays clean when you repent of your sins and then do your best to keep that slate clean by living a life that you know is following the example Christ set for us. We are only human and weak, and we fail to live without sin on a daily base but if you really are trying to follow the example of Christ you will constantly try and correct the mistakes you make, ask forgiveness, and not do it again, and I believe that is enough for God. Unfortunately being a Christian is not easy but if you really want to be you will constantly work at it and not feel guilty, and that is my "grasp" on the sacrifice Christ made for us. I am sorry if it is a bit long-winded but I hope it answers your question. May God bless you and your husband