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Mea kakau

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About Mea kakau

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    Junior Member
  • Birthday July 6

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  • Location
    WA State
  • Interests
    Jesus. Talking to Jesus. Listening to Jesus. Listening to praise and worship music everyday. I love to write. God used (uses) it to help me heal. Writing to help others work through their abuse. Color pencil drawing. Baking with whole wheat. Creating new recipes and experimenting in the kitchen. Web design. Logo design. Designing homes.

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  1. Wanted to put this under prayer requests yet it's awkward. So I'll put it here. My father delved into satanism more than I originally thought. It answers many of my prayers as to why I couldn't handle hearing praise and worship songs when I first became a Christian. I found them so triggering I was forced me to leave the church building many times. Later I came to love praise and worship music though right now I'm having a difficult time with it again. Sigh. That's because I'm remembering the ritual my father performed during each of his murders. Thank you for listening and praying.
  2. Mea kakau

    Childhood Abuse & Sexuality

    Please pray for me as I navigate through these horrific memories of abuse for myself and the many boys my father assaulted. It's all mixed together in a disturbing way. I won't go into details in this post. Thank you!
  3. Mea kakau

    Living Trust and Stealing

    A relative who has no children or spouse accumulated wealth through simply saving her money. Now an investigator with some lawyer group is trying to claim that the conservatorship, one of my brothers, is not competent enough (A lie as he has accounted for every dime spent on behalf of the relative and kept meticulous records.) to be the conservatorship. This is a common ploy by certain groups of lawyers to take over conservatorship and milk every last dime from an estate by charging ridiculous fees for their services. It's quite common in Michigan and California. Possibly other states as well. Please pray for this situation. And pray for strength for my brother as he's dealing with our father's death and living trust situation at the same time he's dealing with this. I've been praying about it for several months. Thank you.
  4. I look forward to that day @Abby-Joy with all my heart because at last I'll have the peace which passes all understanding and my suffering will be done.
  5. I wish it was true that MK Ultra was a hoax. Then I could erase all of the horrific abuse my father perpetrated on me. Then his belief system would not have caused me any harm. And his belief system would not have caused anyone else harm. And numerous people would still be alive. Wow! What a fantasy that would be! If only it was true.
  6. For me that happened when a detective believed me by confirming that what I described as a child to my mother was what a child would say if she witnessed a murder. No therapist or other person had ever confirmed this for me. I was finally believed. That happened late in 2017. It took 29 years to hear those words.
  7. Mea kakau

    Unstable Marriage Worsens

    This prayer has been answered. I spoke with the Christian therapist today! So excited to see someone who's a Christian. She's got a Master of Divinity and told me she doesn't bring it into therapy sessions unless a client requests it. That's the way it's supposed to be. My first appointment won't be for another month.
  8. Mea kakau

    Finding a Christian Therapist!

    I finally found what I've been looking for...a Christian therapist! I spoke with her on the phone and won't see her for several more weeks. I'm looking forward to that first appointment. It's been a long time since I've seen a therapist who is a Christian too. I'm so excited. Thank you God!
  9. Mea kakau

    Delete this wrong place

    Delete this.
  10. Mea kakau

    Update on Kitchen & Bathroom Renovations

    Master bath toilet installed!
  11. Mea kakau

    Update on Kitchen & Bathroom Renovations

    Husband finished the island and prepping it for the installation of the countertop. The master bathroom is ready for the reinstalling of the toilet. My husband finished everything and needs help with setting the toilet in place and hooking it up to the water. The seal on the toilet leaked and made a huge mess. My husband replaced the soaked flooring, removed carpeting, made a raised platform (tall people here with long legs), vented it (was no vent), installed new arm for the toilet flange, etc. Afterward he said, "I'm glad I'm not a plumber. I'd hate to do this type of work day in and day out." The guy from the flooring company took a look at the dishwasher and determined it the leak has to do with the motor. So this is not covered under their installing of it. Now we'll need to contact our extended warranty insurer for the dishwasher.
  12. My father was into everything Hilter did. I even hate writing down his name. I wonder if that is common for MK-Ultra survivors? @SimonB , I wish what happened to me wasn't real. It's definitely crazy making memories.
  13. Mea kakau

    Update on Kitchen & Bathroom Renovations

    The insulation and rat barrier have been installed in the crawl space! Finally!!! The guest toilet has been installed. The sink and bidet need to be installed. The dishwasher is leaking! UGH! I called our plumber and he has yet to respond to my phone call. The master bath toilet was leaking and so it's been dismantled. My husband is correcting the problem which turned out to be more involved than he thought it would be. He had to cut out the soaked flooring. Now he's going to rebuild it and put in extra bracing between the joists. The shower drain had a major problem and my husband fixed it. The kitchen island is stalled because my husband's swollen, painful foot. He has to take many breaks to keep his foot elevated as much as possible.
  14. Mea kakau

    Husband's Swollen Right Foot & Calf

    It appears, through many tests, that my husband has a condition called Neuropathic arthropathy (or neuropathic osteoarthropathy), also known as Charcot joint (often "Charcot foot"). It's a progressive degenerative condition which anyone with neuropathy can get. It's more common with those who have diabetes. He's in a lot of pain and his foot is swollen. My husband's been fortunate that he found an excellent foot and ankle doctor. This guy is a diagnostician with incredible bedside manner. The two don't usually go together.
  15. Mea kakau

    Unstable Marriage Worsens

    We're going through ups and downs which are of course worse than most marriages because I have PTSD and my husband has ADHD and TBI. We recently figured out that we handle stress similarly which makes it more difficult. And that our level of stress is about the same until a stressor occurs and plummets us into even more difficult times. Understanding this has helped tremendously. We've found throughout our marriage that humor helps us both to deal with the stresses of life. Also both of us being believers keeps us bound together for life. I'm having to reframe my life with my husband because I based much of it on believing he was abusing me and trying to make my life a living hell. In fact his behaviors/attitudes stemmed from ADHD and TBI. So this is where I need prayer in this marriage. As well I need prayer to find a Christian therapist. I think I might have found one who is currently on maternity leave. She becomes available next month. My current therapist's group practice is breaking up on April 30th. I thought this would be a great time to make a transition to another therapist. Even though I like my current therapist there are some huge differences which I think cannot be addressed and number one is religion/spirituality.