Mea kakau

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About Mea kakau

  • Birthday July 6

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    Washington State
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    I love to write. God used (uses) it to help me heal. I want to get back to color pencil drawing.
  1. Thank you Abby-Joy. Forgot to add to my post to KPaulG. During my shower, where insights come to me about writing my novels and about what happened to me, I realized the very first chapter of my novel wasn't quite how I wanted it. I needed two points of view; my antagonist, already written, and my protagonist, previously unwritten. Well, now the protagonist view point is being developed. And I see that throughout the novel it will be a duel back and forth between these two characters through chapters and scenes. Eventually there will be a confrontation between them. I never saw this scenario before while writing my novel. I'm in the editing/revision process. Up until this point, it's been frustrating because I didn't know where I was going with the whole novel. I do now. It's quite clear.
  2. I'm not having any ill effects from remembering this other than it's difficult to write my novel right now because of these memories coming to me. For me, it means that my father traveled to more states than I remember which would make sense. He would travel to the easiest to get to states rather than ones further away. This occurred in 1950s and 1960s where travel was more difficult to remote areas. The insight this gives me about father will bring more memories. I'm ready for them...again. I must remember this part of healing never ends until I'm home with Jesus.
  3. My husband still hasn't talked to me about forgiveness. Though we were busy dealing with Bailey and his swollen leg. Now things are easier and I'll talk to him again about it.
  4. Hi KPaulG, Bailey is using his affected leg more today. Before it was more like huge weight he was dragging around with him. Thank you for your prayers.
  5. Hi shel, Not recently. I write quite a bit and that's my number one priority along with designing websites. I'm doing one for my son who's starting a new business. My artwork is still in its carrying case. Just the other day I asked my husband if we could get it photographed and then printed on canvas to hang around our home. His and my son's sign business have the capability of printing on canvas in full color. Now I just have to decide which sizes to use for the artwork.
  6. I have had two connections about something which had never made sense to me. I know this is from reporting the crimes to the police because the detective asked me if my father went across this bay. I said something about him taking a ferry while I talked to my husband. I had said this previously and never thought about it until the other day. It turns out the ferry across that bay stopped service before I was born. So I thought that must've been my imagination. I've always been nervous while on ferries. I live in a state where there's a huge ferry fleet for many islands. Well, about a week ago I found a history buff's website where he describes other ferries in the state and adjacent state where my father lives/d. The ferry service for one particular area stayed in service until 1964. My memory is about 1963. So it's not my imagination.
  7. Sorry to hear you went through this with your Great Pyrenees mix Abby-Joy. They are part of a Leonberger's lineage; Great Pyrenees, Saint Bernard, and Newfoundland is how they got the breed. Almost from the start we had Bailey on an herb called Artemisinin. We used 100mg a day and noticed a change in him. But then Bailey's leg swelled up huge and got very hard and hot. He could barely walk it was so big, weighed twice as much as before, and placed pressure on his good rear leg. I went back and researched further on Artemisinin, reading the studies done with both humans and canines. (Artemisinin was originally used for malaria.) That's when I came upon some interesting information on dosage; it's never the same from person to person nor canine to canine. It depends on the sex, the age, severity of the cancer, and more. And that there were two derivatives besides the Artemisinin. After all the reading and research I did, we increased the herb to 200mg. His first dose 0f 200mg was a week ago Wednesday, 12 April. Within three days the swelling was cut by a third and Bailey's pain level had decreased as well. Instead of giving him pain killers every 8 hours, we gave it to him every 10 hours. I ordered one of the other derivatives, Artemether, because it's longer acting in the blood stream. The articles recommended a combination of herbs. I called our vet and talked to him about Bailey's condition. Our vet was extremely interested in the Artemisinin. I sent him an email with links and info on the herb. At the same time, I sent the man, who owed me the money and paid me, the info because his wife has stage IV breast cancer. There's been success with "curing" stage IV breast cancer with Artemisinin. I read an anecdotal story about a man with the most aggressive form of leukemia being told by his doctors that there was nothing more they could do after treatment failed. He went home and started doing some research and discovered the benefits of Artemisinin. He started giving his Golden Retriever some because it had been diagnosed with osteosarcoma and he took it too. After three months his leukemia went into remission and hasn't returned as long as he's stayed on the dose he found worked for him. He's lived seven years beyond the terminal diagnosis. On my Leonberger list, another person's dog got diagnosed with osteosarcoma. They couldn't amputate the affected leg. Her vet told her the dog wouldn't live beyond a month (just like our vet told us.) So she opted for Artemisinin. The tumor started out huge and shrunk down to the size of a quarter in a matter of months. Her Leonberger lived another 5 years and 7 months. Anyway, we are hopeful as Bailey continues to improve each day. He hadn't been getting up to tell us when he's hungry in the morning. All that changed yesterday morning. We both got awakened by a very demanding dog who insisted we both get up right now. He's got an obnoxious yippy bark which sounds more like it belongs to a dog about half his size or smaller. He uses it when he wants us to do something for him...NOW! My husband had just been commenting about how he missed his daily morning wake up calls from Bailey. Be careful what you say and pray for because Bailey's even more demanding than before as Artemisinin increases the appetite like the CBD does. Today the swelling in Bailey's left leg has decreased further. It is no longer hard. The skin is soft and moveable. His limp is less noticeable. And he's bossing us around with his yippy bark and we're thankful for it all. Hi SisterActs2 I also found an article on Artemisinin having a positive effect on increasing the release of insulin from pancreatic cells.
  8. Yesterday I asked my husband if had forgiven his ex-wife. He bristled at the question. And then I explained what forgiveness is about and that it releases us from the person and our past. I told him he didn't have to forget what she did. My husband said he could possibly forgive her. However he doesn't believe he could ever forgive the man she had an affair with. I shocked him by telling him I forgave my father, a pedophile and a serial killer, and all the horrible things he did to me. Then I told him I forgave my mother and older brother, both narcissists, for their abuse. Thank you again for your prayers. I'm praying for God to soften my husband's heart and that he forgives his ex-wife.
  9. Yes, we've had a good marriage. It's been tough though as we both brought many burdens into our marriage. My abuse history and his divorce and his profound abandonment as a child (His parents dropped him off with an aunt at age five and only came back to visit.). Lots of pain to share and deal with. Only in the last five years have we become closer as I started sharing with my husband about my father and why I am like I am (PTSD). We are each other's best friends. We can talk about anything to each other. He only started opening up to me more after I shared about my PTSD and what my father did to me. Last night I had a really good talk with my husband about what happened with his ex-wife. I explained that it wasn't God's will that his marriage failed. It was his ex-wife choosing to have an affair and then choosing to leave. She chose to leave in spite of having much counseling from family pastors. My husband is thinking over what I said. We'll see what he talks about tonight.
  10. This is going to be a long search.... Oh well. I love researching so it's not a problem. Haven't found anything yet. Thank you all for your prayers.
  11. Try using a scentless soap and shampoo. The more scents one uses to "hide" body odors actually makes the body odors worse. I use unscented coconut oil soap for my hair and body. I used to use scented soaps and shampoos and powders and tons of antiperspirants, etc. and couldn't keep the odor level down until I stopped trying to mask them. There are odorless, colorless antiperspirants as well. You could use lemon juice and apple cider vinegar. Sounds weird. It cuts down on the odor causing bacteria. Take a fairly strong probiotic daily. I take one with 10 certified friendly bacteria. Make certain you take enough magnesium daily. For your low blood sugar, place a small refrigerator or cooler bag in your bedroom and stock it with snacks you can eat which will help maintain a normal blood sugar level.
  12. Sores around my mouth are 99% healed. Praise God!
  13. It's going great KPaulG. Thanks for asking. No after effects. The detective gave me an idea though; search for my father's or his relative's name in newspapers. That was one question he asked me, if I had seen any newspaper articles about missing homeless boys. I had never looked in a newspaper for my father's/his relative's names either. I was at a loss for what parameters to use until early yesterday morning when several answers came to me. So now I'm performing several searches at once.
  14. Oh my gosh.... I thought things were going south. We took Bailey to the vet yesterday. Bailey remained in the car and the vet, a great guy, crawled into the van with him. He thoroughly felt Bailey's body and leg. The vet said that it was not a pathological fracture. (We were concerned because Bailey's leg is quite swollen.) Thank God! He asked if Bailey is coughing. Very little. The vet was surprised at that answer. Osteosarcoma metastasizes to the lungs. I just read yesterday that without any amputation and chemo the dog dies a month after diagnosis. Bailey has lasted four months as of yesterday, 3 April 2017. That's why the vet told us Bailey wouldn't live past Christmas. Wow! Last month we changed Bailey's CBD to one twice the strength, 1200mg per bottle. He receives between 30 and 40mg per day. A minimum of 25mg is recommended for chronic conditions. Since giving the higher dose, Bailey has been able to easily get out of bed in the morning. Throughout this time my husband's being dealing with something with God's will. It's related to his first marriage. His wife had an affair and then divorced him. They were both Christians. The whole church that my husband attended turned away from him because of the divorce. They treated him as if he had a disease. My husband kept saying that if this is God's will that my dog has to die of this horrible disease that he's not my God. I prayed about this. And realized my husband's church turned from him and my husband in turn walked away from God. So he's using anything to be angry with God. Sounds all convoluted to me. When I met my husband in 1985, I was a tried and true new-ager. My husband joined me. Then in 1991 I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. My husband attended church with me yet in his emotions and mind he was feuding with God over his wife leaving him and God's will. He's maintained all along that God caused his divorce and that it was God's will. I told my husband that it was the will of a human being making a choice to leave a marriage. Anyone have scripture I can read about God's will. I looked up some in the Bible and doesn't quite say what I'm looking for. I'm about to unearth my Bible from under my monitor. I liked that version better than the newest one I bought. It's a study Bible. I'm not quoting scripture to my husband rather reading it and praying about it.
  15. I think it's time we laid our precious Bailey to rest. His other rear leg is weakening and he's having a difficult time walking. He's made it as far as most dogs do with osteosarcoma who have had surgery and radiation, nearly four months past the diagnosis date. And we didn't do any surgery and radiation treatment. So hard. Please pray for my husband. He's having a difficult time letting go and knowing this is it. Our dog can't suffer any longer. I'm talking with him tonight about this. On the 3rd of April it will be four months exactly since Bailey was diagnosed. Yet we know he's had this cancer for about a year prior to diagnosis. All the signs were there.