Hello friend! I just want to say that I can understand where you are coming from, as I too have health conditions that cause me to isolate myself from others. But when you say you are growing lonelier every year, I believe that is where the issue lies. See, people are always going to let you down, and we try to set higher standards for people who we seem to care more about, and when that person let's us down, we fall into a state of "depression", or just unhappiness, because the person you put your trust in has let you down. But in reality, why do we expect perfection out of an imperfect human being? There is only one man that we can trust in to never let us down, and that is Jesus Christ. A relationship is a wonderful thing, absolutely! But why don't we value our relationship with Christ as much as our relationships with imperfect, sinful human beings? It's because we want to please ourselves, and our own desires. Love cannot be found through another human being unless you truly know what love is my friend, and god is true love. So in order to live in love, you must live in god first, and he will give these things to you when the time is right! God bless you friend, and seek first the kingdom of god!