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Tjm6

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  1. Myths and is not into child porn. He is addicted to regular porn though. I made a promise to be with him in the good time and in the bad times when I got married to him. I will not divorce over this issue. Whether I have the right or.not. Divorce is never Gods plan. I am curious at how a man thinks a woman should deal with a situation like this. After all it is a man committing the sin. How dose he think a wife should act. I have forgiven him. That is what I am called to do as a Christ follower. I also still allow him to have sex with me. That as well is what I am called to do. The one thing I don't do is trust him. As he would say. I have given him an emotional divorce. I suppose I have. But I don't know how else to deal with the pain. Not having a sold answer on whether this could happen again. Am I being unfair to ask for him to never cheat on me again. I'm not saying never be tempted. That would be impossible. What I'm saying is resist temptation. Have a game plan. Because I feel like when one is proud enough to say that they are free and no longer addicted. They are just opening themselves up to be blind sided. Any thoughts? ( men, please respond)
  2. Yes, I can relate to that. My relationship with God was sweet and tender. When I was a teenager. He was my best friend! I would talk, audibly, every night to him as I went to sleep. When I got married that didn't happen anymore, of course, my husband may have thought I was coo coo. Besides, I would go to bed conversing with him. I feel ashamed that I have let my intimate relationship with God dwindle. It always seem to be one or the other. I must learn balance. I pray that God will help me through this. I'm sorry you had to go through the marriage to get to this point. May you have a peaceful and fulfilling life.
  3. He has already told me that he doesn't think that it is the same as adultery. He says," It's not like that. You just don't understand ." I really don't understand. I guess that's the problem. With each relapse, trusting him is next to not happening. But every time he will tell me that he has changed, that God has given him a revaluation. That he is free for sure. The last time he told me that, I believed him. This time I laughed and said, "Yeah, right!" He was hurt. Than I reminded him of his last revaluation five years ago. He said, in a low voice, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." He is sorry and sad and it hurts me to see him like this. But I can't stay on this emotional roller coaster that he has me on. Every time this happens, my actual heart hurts! This can't be healthy. I have come to the conclusion that in order for me to survive this; I will leave myself emotionally detached from him. It seems to be the only way. I don't withhold sex. I never have. I just don't initiate it or become emotionally involved. He hates it. But he has made his bed and now he must sleep in it. I will put my focus on God and in prayer for both of us. May God have mercy on our marriage and change both of our hearts. Thanks for being an ear to my pain. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone I know. It's too humiliating!
  4. I do. Other wise I'm sure I would be a heap load more of a mess than what I already am. My husband is a Christian as well, which blows me away even more. I guess we all have our sins we struggle with, harboring bad feelings, eating to much, getting angry, but this destroys his family to its core. How could he! I don't really even know how to pray right now. My mind feels blank. I can't even think of what to get the kids for Christmas. I've lost all of my energy to do anything. You know.
  5. Oh I believe all of that is very true. But my husband shrugs it off like it was a bad idea. And I stated that it was biblically adultery. He didn't want to agree on that. So I get the idea that men don't think, that when they watch porn, that they are really doing anything "that" bad. Which says to me, what I find important about marriage (relationship) is not really that important to a man. And through my research, from secular to religious, I have found that a mans number one reason to get married is sex. Which really angered me. Not that sex is wrong. Sex is fine. But that sex should never be the foundation of a marriage. If it is than that marriage is very shallow, because sex, just like beauty, is fading. Leaving my number one question: why do men get married in the first place? I got married because I wanted to love and care for, what at that time, was my best friend . Have children, build a home with my man, dream together about our future, and just plain grow old together. But through my research the number one thing a man would change about their marriage was more sex. Never once was what really matters( what you take with you when you die) ever mentioned. This gave me a whole new perspective on men, and I'm sorely disappointed. I would have rather stayed single then get caught up in this mess if I would have known then what I know now. What an empty existence men must live.
  6. My husband keeps going back to porn and it has destroyed my perspective of sex completely. In the beginning it was an act of love and passion. Now all I can think of is that I'm just a pawn in one of his porn fantasies. This is the third time I have caught him in our 15 years of marriage. ( he has admitted to much more now) with each time I trust him less and withdraw more. Meaning, I don't feel like I can even have a best friend relationship with him. Because if I react at all to his advances, whether sexual or relational, we may rebuild our marriage just long enough for his lack of morality to tear it back down and I'll just get hurt again when he relapses. And with each time this happens I feel less,well, anything toward him. The first time I found out, I went through all of the stages of grieve. It was like something had died inside of me. I was devastated! This time I just try to tell myself I don't care. It's the only way I feel like I can survive and keep going.
  7. I get the feeling that most men feel like porn is just another bad habit and not a serious sin. Is this true?
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