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Lizam

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  1. In the beginning of my marriage and while I was dating I was around my In laws often. But after marriage things got so toxic. My brother in law and sister in law for years was rude would not return calls or messages. Not even to make play dates. My mother in law goes out of her way to ignore me and be rude to me. I don't want to sound judgemental but my husbands family is unstable for the following reasons below and because they have been so rude to me I stay away and don't trust them to even baby sit my child Mother may have a mental illness due to language barrier I wasn't able to detect it before but now I see her behavior and etc over the years she may suffer from personality or mental disorder. She is rude and very belittling and I don't like being around her father has MAjor depressive disorder and is impulsive blames me when his son can't or won't give him money every time he asks Sister has molested all 3 of her brothers my husband included. My toddler does not go around her. She has some sort of personality disorder too one of his brothers is a drug dealer and doesn't care to come around his brother my husband and never met my child who is a toddler although we live in the same city😱 other brother claims to be a Christian but is a trouble maker spreading gossip about me to mutual friends and his family he does have nice family members but because of those things above I have stayed away I do want my child to know his inlaws but because of the above I stay away. my child goes around them once every 2 months or so. what would you do in my situation
  2. Thank you both. Yes I do not trust him. He lied alot and I just can not believe he can say to my face that he wasnt sure if he wanted to be married. I think he is crazy and did not or does not really love me. We will separate for right now. I do not see him as being repetent and I have a feeling unless he changes and becomes honest he will repeat it again.
  3. Thank you that text message about the dream killed my spirit I cried and I still cry i can't believe he is a liar and so fake
  4. I knew for a while almost a year something was up with my husband. I met him a six years ago and when we were engaged 5 years ago I saw that he was Facebooking his ex girlfriend asking her how she was doing and etc. I confronted him about it he said he deleted her from Facebook and stopped messaging her. A few months later I just happened to have a gut feeling and looked at his phone and he was still messaging her this time not on Facebook but via his phone. A few weeks after that I found out he was facebooking a friend that he used to like he told me to meet her at a bar. He begged me for forgiveness he wanted to get married he apologized and stated that he was thinking of his ex girlfriend because her mother died and for his family friend he wanted to innocently catch up with her. I did so many things for this guy, helped him get his first apartment, his first teaching job, learn to drive, first car, and etc. I fell for the excuses forgave him got married and now have a 2 year old son. This summer he told asked me what would I do if he cheated? That I couldn't blame him. Something along those lines, I was shocked. Then 2 months ago we bought a luxury car I wanted to drive it he stated that it is his car it is in his name why do I want to drive it. (CRAZY, I am his wife and mother of his son). Fast forward to Feb/March 2017, this man posted seriously innappropiate photos of one his classmates, he is pursuing his masters, at her birthday party. I was disturbed by the photos and asked him to take it down he did not immediately; but several hours later after I asked multiple times he did. I was alarmed A few days after that I got access to his phone and saw all the pictures on his phone and a video of the same girl and it was focused on her chest. My heart dropped I realized that he really did have a sexual attraction to this person and probably had sex with her. The NEXT day I went into his phone again and saw text messages to another woman this time his coworker. about 30-40 text messages a day, asking her what she wanted for breakfast, her favorite foods, that he had a dream about her, quoting scriptures, saying that he would pray for her.(Stuff he doesn't do for me). He doesn't even want to go to church or pray or read the bible with me. What really got me is that he told her that he had a dream about her that God stated her name 3 times. I was and still am very upset I feel betrayed, we are in counseling he admitted that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married since the summer time and that is when his coworker was first hired. I don't trust him. I did alot for him, when I met him he was working part-time renting a room and I did everything for him becuase I loved him and now within 5 years he is a teacher, in masters program, went from renting a room to an apartment, and owning a house, knows how to drive and etc. I am not the type to clean up a man and etc, but I fell in love with him and my gift is organization and etc. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with someone who was committed and loyal to me. When we were engaged he showed me that he wasn't but I fell for the apology. Now we are married and I clearly see that he most likely had sex and that he is a PHONY. I am so conflicted I am a Christian and wanted to be married for life. Has anyone here forgiven their husband and/or significant other and they have changed and you lead a good life. The lying and the phoniness scares me to death it is so scary and I feel like he has had sex with another person and I am so scared what my life has become.
  5. I knew for a while almost a year something was up with my husband. I met him a six years ago and when we were engaged 5 years ago I saw that he was Facebooking his ex girlfriend asking her how she was doing and etc. I confronted him about it he said he deleted her from Facebook and stopped messaging her. A few months later I just happened to have a gut feeling and looked at his phone and he was still messaging her this time not on Facebook but via his phone. A few weeks after that I found out he was facebooking a friend that he used to like he told me to meet her at a bar. He begged me for forgiveness he wanted to get married he apologized and stated that he was thinking of his ex girlfriend because her mother died and for his family friend he wanted to innocently catch up with her. I did so many things for this guy, helped him get his first apartment, his first teaching job, learn to drive, first car, and etc. I fell for the excuses forgave him got married and now have a 2 year old son. This summer he told asked me what would I do if he cheated? That I couldn't blame him. Something along those lines, I was shocked. Then 2 months ago we bought a luxury car I wanted to drive it he stated that it is his car it is in his name why do I want to drive it. (CRAZY, I am his wife and mother of his son). Fast forward to Feb/March 2017, this man posted seriously innappropiate photos of one his classmates, he is pursuing his masters, at her birthday party. I was disturbed by the photos and asked him to take it down he did not immediately; but several hours later after I asked multiple times he did. I was alarmed A few days after that I got access to his phone and saw all the pictures on his phone and a video of the same girl and it was focused on her chest. My heart dropped I realized that he really did have a sexual attraction to this person and probably had sex with her. The NEXT day I went into his phone again and saw text messages to another woman this time his coworker. about 30-40 text messages a day, asking her what she wanted for breakfast, her favorite foods, that he had a dream about her, quoting scriptures, saying that he would pray for her.(Stuff he doesn't do for me). He doesn't even want to go to church or pray or read the bible with me. What really got me is that he told her that he had a dream about her that God stated her name 3 times. I was and still am very upset I feel betrayed, we are in counseling he admitted that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married since the summer time and that is when his coworker was first hired. I don't trust him. I did alot for him, when I met him he was working part-time renting a room and I did everything for him becuase I loved him and now within 5 years he is a teacher, in masters program, went from renting a room to an apartment, and owning a house, knows how to drive and etc. I am not the type to clean up a man and etc, but I fell in love with him and my gift is organization and etc. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with someone who was committed and loyal to me. When we were engaged he showed me that he wasn't but I fell for the apology. Now we are married and I clearly see that he most likely had sex and that he is a PHONY. I am so conflicted I am a Christian and wanted to be married for life. Has anyone here forgiven their husband and/or significant other and they have changed and you lead a good life. The lying and the phoniness scares me to death it is so scary and I feel like he has had sex with another person and I am so scared what my life has become.
  6. Lizam

    Should I get a divorce

    Thank you guys so much for your support.
  7. Lizam

    Should I get a divorce

    I do believe he is cheating and I finally caught him.
  8. Lizam

    Should I get a divorce

    Thank you all for your feedback. I do love him. We are going to go to marriage counseling I have resentment because he discussed our private information did things embarrassing like push me in front of his family members, make off comments about me and etc. I love him but I feel everything is wrong I want to be treated with honor and respect and it doesn't seem he knows how to, we are struggling financially, he doesn't know how to lead, and his family is horrible to me. I don't go around them anymore they point out things about my son instead of loving him so I don't bring him anymore. I feel like I married the wrong person. I feel miserable thank you guys for your feedback. Please pray that we sell our home in the next few days and get our finances in order.
  9. Lizam

    Should I get a divorce

    I feel like I made a bad decision in marrying my husband. I believe he has a mental impairment and although he is a teacher he is slow to process information and behaves inappropriately. I have son with him who has a developmental delay which I believe he will overcome. Hisfamily doesn't like me. Hismother is weird and horrible to me. One of his brothers had alabel of mental retardation and overcame it. I didn't truly realize all these things until I gotmarried to him and I can not imagine having another child with him or building a life especially since my in laws treat me horribly. I am miserable
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