I will try my best to explain as much as possible... it all just seems so confusing for me.
My husband and I have been together for 3 years. He came from a broken marriage and warned me that his heart was broken and could not love or trust any woman ever again (She cheated on him... she was the 'love of his life'). I felt with time that this would change...that if I was 'that woman' for him ... that he would change. I also had and still have trust issues as well. We would have our disagreements. They mostly stemmed from my jealousness which caused him to feel smothered and as if he couldn't 'be himself'. I would try not to be so smothering, but that was very hard for me to do. Because I wanted to be his center of attention all the time, and he wasn't willing to do that. So then started another disagreement that the love / affection / attention that he was giving me wasn't enough for me and that was all that he could give. He would be sweet, kind, loving at times; say nice things, and tell me that he loved me. Then other times he would tell me that our relationship was one sided and that he didn't feel the same about me as I did about him... saying that he wasn't 'in love' with me .. only that he loved me in a different way and cared about my well being. He was also overwhelmed as to the effort that it took for a relationship.
I am also not much of a communicator, so most of the time I would close up whenever we had disagreements.. or most of the time on a regular basis.. I felt like I was walking on egg shells... didn't know if he wanted me to love on him or leave him alone. And also I was always anticipating as if he was on the prowl for someone else, because I didn't feel like I was his one and only.
He had left 4 other times throughout our relationship, saying that we were just too different and didn't see eye to eye on anything.
Looking back I guess each of my days I was wondering if he just had me around to cook, clean house, and wash his clothes; and whether or not he was just going to leave again. After having this mind set day after day it took a toll on me to the point that I acted miserable about everything.
Here recently he went out an bought a boat... and didn't even talk to me about it before he did it. He said that I would only gripe and say that we didn't have the money to buy a boat. That caused me to be disappointed and any time we went fishing I clammed up and sulked the whole time... I couldn't even enjoy myself... maybe its me that isn't happy... but I want so bad to find that happiness with him (just like it was when we first started dating) .. I fear that we have a lot of 'water under the bridge', and that scares me too.. He would tell me that when I walked in the room he thought to himself,'oh, here Salena comes... what she gonna gripe about now'
Could he be going thru a midlife crisis?
We even watched relationship videos discussing how God made men and women differently on purpose... and that it takes love and respect to make a relationship work. This helped for a little bit, but we both went back to our normal stuff.
I could probably go on for hours... but this is just some of the stuff that has happened. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.